Ok...so still writing this damn paper...but I wanted to get your take...
With the launch of Obamacare and the Repeal of DOMA there is weird loophole: If you live in a non-marriage state and want to use the market to purchase healthcare, you have to file as single. I can't really come up with a situation where it isn't beneficial to file single. For instance in our case, A is a SAHM so she would qualify for a full subsidy (essentially Medicaid). If we were making the same amount of money and each filed as single and one of us with the baby we would get a less expensive rate overall than if we filed as a family of three.
So here is the question: if you were in the position where the law benefitted your family, would you have any ethical issues accepting the reduced cost of healthcare/accepting Medicaid? OR Have we dealt with enough, and if one law finally fall in our favor we should take advantage of it even if it means acknowledging yet again that our marriages are still "less-than" our straight counter parts?
I don't know how to make a clicky poll...so feel free to discuss

Re: What are your thoughts?
C and I make the exact same salary - well, not *exact* but we're close - a couple hundred dollar difference between the two of us. Getting married would not be financially beneficial at all, especially with a baby. We wouldn't be able to deduct nearly as much with childcare, we'd suffer the marriage penalty, and C could take a hefty deduction from second-parent adoption. If we married we'd owe thousands more in taxes. And C wouldn't be able to deduct our second-parent adoption from taxes. Romantically and socially, I really want to get married. Financially, I do not.
I do struggle with this still. If we were married I could call C my wife and I feel like we'd be treated better in health emergencies. Like if one of our kids got really sick and had to go to the emergency room then we could say we were married and go together. C just wants to say that we're sisters so they won't question our relationship. I guess if we don't get married that may be the best thing to do.
My straight friends don't even think about it. When I talk about all this stuff with them they go all cross-eyed on me and stop listening. They're all SAHMs so they don't get penalized like we would. And my working friends have enough disparity between their incomes that it doesn't penalize them at all either. But since C and I are so close we'd really get spanked for getting married. It totally sucks.
And yes, @Mamosey, I do believe hetero non-married couples with children get the loophole, too.
@Valeriegp, exactly! The same angry old bastards who tell us we're going to Hell for living a deviant lifestyle, accuse us of pedophilia, and vote to keep us from being fully included in society are the same miserly swine who cry "MY TAX DOLLARS!" every time the government does something they don't like.
I'm more than happy to use "their" tax dollars (despite the fact that I've been paying into the system for years myself) to get deductions for my gay family as a single mother.