I'm back :( *multiple losses mentioned*

BeanQueen83

I had a chemical pregnancy in September and since the doc said it was ok to try again right away, we did. I got pregnant the next month, despite an ovulation that was 10 days later than normal. I got the BFP at 13 and 14DPO. It wasn't super dark but it was better than the first time. I made an appointment for blood work to confirm and felt really confident. The morning of having the bloodwork done (16DPO) I took my last test, cuz why not? I wanted to see a nice dark line. Instead, it seemed fainter than two days earlier. I put it down to super hydration but deep down felt something was wrong. Tried to stay positive. Got my bloodwork back today and it's at 15. They are doing another test tomorrow but I took a hpt tonight and it's gone. I'm so emotionally exhausted from this. I'm angry at my body and so incredibly sad. I have no friends in real life to talk to and my husband is in pain almost as much as I am. I just wanted to share. I don't know what good it will do but maybe it will help me get through this a little easier. I can't help but feel like maybe it was my fault because I kept trying even when my ovulation was a week late. Or maybe it was running that 10k? Or the coffee I was drinking? I don't know. I can't understand why this keeps happening. I know chemical pregnancies are common but I didn't think multiple ones were? I feel like this is going to happen every time and I just don't know if I can do it again. It's the worst pain I've ever known.

libby+nate

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm not well versed on chemical pregnancies because I had a mm/c, but to have two so close I'm sure would be hard mentally and physically. Big (hugs) keeping you in my thoughts!

alm288

I'm so sorry for your losses in such a short time period! I think it's natural to be angry, especially if you don't have any answers. Can you call your dr and talk to him/her about possible causes? I highly doubt that coffee or running a 10K would cause it. Lots of women run and exercise through pregnancy. I wish you all the best and lots of hugs!!!

hadley135

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having two so close together. I also do not have experience with a chemical pregnancy. I would not try to place the blame on something you did. Unfortunately, it is something that may not have an explanation at this point. Thoughts and hugs coming your way.

amandalou22

chemical pregnancies aren't uncommon I'll put it that way. Basically if we didn't test as early as we do and have the techonology to pick up HCG, we never would have known. From what I understand a lot of women DO have a Chem Preg. every month but will never know it. It's just us who are trying to get pregnant who seem to find out...I've had 2 chem, 2 missed m/c and 2 gorgeous healthy kids:) Keep trying and don't give up hope. Some of us just have worse luck than others but it's worth it in the end. So sorry you're dealing with this...I completely agree, it's a pain you wouldn't wish on anyone. Hugs and prayers to you and your DH.

BeanQueen83

I know chemical pregnancies are common, I didn't think it was common to have two in a row. I was sort of under the impression that one is normal, more is not. I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through this again

MrsG80inTN

@BeanQueen83 - you are stronger than you know.  I know this isn't easy to go through and I'm thinking of you.  No one should have to be here - it's just not fair.  And to go through twice in a row just bites.  I would recommend that you talk to your doctor, but I don't believe it has anything to do with your coffee or 10K.  Please don't beat yourself up.  

BeanQueen83

Thanks everyone. I'm so glad I have this group to talk to. I don't want to put too much on my friends since they mostly don't want kids and don't understand. I called in to work today and spent the day pampering myself (and crying). I'm feeling much better and more stable now. I'm still tremendously sad but feel like I should be ready to go back to work tomorrow. Just going to take it one day at a time.