BD just called

KTdidit

Or his girlfriend did anyway. I missed the call and she left a message. I'm gonna need to calm down and stop seeing red before I call back. Fuck. I was hoping he would just disappear.

coopsbaby

Dang. Deep breaths! Did she say what she wants?

KTdidit

No but I know she's running interference for BD. I have no idea what she will say. But I'm not calling back. I decided that since it wasn't BD that called I don't owe a call-back. I just can't avoid answering the phone on purpose in case it IS him next time

twister22

I'm nosey and want to know what GF said. I'm sorry they're popping back up like this . Inconsistency SUCKS.

sweetwalks

I wanna know what she said too. Especially after they went so long without contact

KTdidit

She left a message saying "It's <name>. We just got our phone back, same number. Call me when you get this. I need to talk to you." 

I stick to my assumption that since it wasn't BD, I don't owe her a call-back.

+just+j+

If you do end up talking to her and she starts to talk for him, STOP HER and say, "I appreciate the effort you are making, but if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to him about it. Have him call me please. Thanks."  And then hang up.

I would not allow her to run interference.

KTdidit

+just+j+ said:

If you do end up talking to her and she starts to talk for him, STOP HER and say, "I appreciate the effort you are making, but if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to him about it. Have him call me please. Thanks."  And then hang up.

I would not allow her to run interference.

Oh no I don't plan on it at all. Your response is way more than I intended on saying to her anyway. And much nicer. I have no reason to talk to her at all so if I did answer and she started talking I'm likely to say "I will not discuss this with you" and hang up. We all know what I'd like to do is cuss her out/tell her off whatever you wanna call it. I only halfway trust myself not to do that. I know if/when I do talk to BD it will not go well. Most likely end up in a fight. I'm sure I'll get all worked up and yell. I know, I know. Not the right thing to do. I'm working on mentally preparing myself. I was dumb and seriously thought that he would just disappear.

+just+j+

If she's calling for him, he's not looking forward to the fight with you either.  But he should man up and do it.  Just keep that in mind though...he probably doesn't want to fight, so try to keep it civil.

This from a woman who holds it in, holds it in, holds it in....and WHAM!  Look the fuck out.

KTdidit

LOL yeah sounds like me too. I know he's being a coward and avoiding me, hoping his GF can handle his problems for him. I think he's a lot like your Ex, it's never his fault, the world is against him. And I'm always being a bitch if I call him out on something, or unfeeling and unsympathetic if I don't bend to whatever he wants. And that is why we end up in a fight and can't be civil for longer than 5 minutes. Because he feels I need to feel sorry for him for losing his job and having to support kids that aren't his. And I want him to be a decent person. We will never get what we each want

+just+j+

Yep.  That's XH.

KTdidit

@tifanico Good idea. At least with written communication I can calm down and re-read something before I send it. Plus then everything is in writing for court/lawyers.

Although I doubt they have access to a computer or internet. Not my problem right?

KTdidit

@tifanico   Work? Hahaha you're funny.