Daycare for LO1 when you're on maternity leave with LO2

mb314

We are not even TTC #2 yet, but this came up last night in a conversation with DH, and I'm curious about what the ladies on here have done.  Did you send your older LO to daycare while you were on maternity leave with your second (or third)?   It would be a financial strain to pay for daycare since I don't get paid maternity leave, but at the same time, it would be nice for DS to keep his schedule at daycare and for me to have the time to focus on the new baby.  We go to an in-home daycare, so I think there would be some flexibility with taking a few months off.

ccam

We're trying for #2 but I fully intend on keeping DS in daycare while I'm on leave.  I might keep him home more often after I get into the swing of things, but I feel like the routine is good for him, plus he loves it there.  Not to mention, if I pull him out, he will lose his spot. 

MamaAllison

DD1 will go to daycare full time while I am on maternity leave, but I have the advantage of being paid the entire three months I'm out. I will however, reduce the number of days she goes over the summer (but not pull her out completely) to save up for September when we have two in DC. (Obviously I'm a teacher).

In your situation I would talk about LO going maybe three days a week so that you can save some money but also bond with the new baby, catch up on sleep, etc.

SoMoNY

DS #1 goes to a school program from 9-12:30, he'll still go when home with DS #2

jf198400

I kept DD home with me when I had DS, but we were not returning to the DC after my ML anyways.  She was 18months at the time and was fine with being home.  We had a wonderful time the 3 of us.  I did not find it hard to take care of both children at all.  We would like to eventually have baby #3.  Since both my children will be older when that happens, I will probably keep them in DC PT 2-3 days/week.  It does stink since most of ML is unpaid, but I think the older kids really need to continue to be with their friends.

jlaOK

I sent DS to daycare during my maternity leave for multiple reasons:  had to pay to keep our spot, he loves it and would be bored at home, and to keep his schedule relatively normal.  The only downside was that I had to do drop-offs and literally rolled out of bed, packed up him and the baby, and went.  I'm glad that I continued to send him.

financialdiva

Hell yes I sent DS1 to DC, lol. I picked him up early, kept him home on occasion, and did keep him home one week with me around the 8 week mark bc if he was out the whole week, I didn't have to pay. I planned a ton of activities that week and the weather was beautiful. It was exhausting but we had a blast! But there is no way I could have kept DS1 on some sort of normalcy had I kept him out all 12 weeks. And I was able to focus all my attention on the baby as well.

We thought about going down to part time, but there would be no flexibility in days. It would have been MWF or TTh and it wasn't much less then FT so we just kept him FT.

My leave was unpaid, so we had to budget for the expense.

peekaboo716

We sent DS to daycare when I was home on ML with DD. He had just turned 2. We needed to keep our spot, wanted the routine for him, he needed to be kept busy, etc. Selfishly, I wanted the time to be home with DD, and give her the same undivided attention I gave to DS. Most days, I dropped off later and picked up earlier, so he wasn't there as many hours in the day. Also DS loved showing off his new baby sister. I went back to work at 13 weeks. I had only 2 weeks paid leave, and then was at 60% of my salary for 6 weeks. The remainder was unpaid, but we started saving the moment I got my BFP, so I could do that.

mb314

Thanks everyone!  I like the idea of keeping DS in daycare.  I think if we plan ahead, we can make it work financially. 

skyejo

I switched DD1 from full time to two days a week.  DD1 needs to keep a routine for her sanity (and mine!) so I wanted her to still have the school experience while at the same time getting some more time at home with me and her new sister. 

It worked out really well for everyone.  I never felt overwhelemed on the days I had both of them and SO enjoyed lazing around on the couch with a newborn sleeping on my chest on DD1s school days. My mat leave is fully paid so we didn't have to worry about that side of it.  With #3, we'll do the same thing  

DTNZ4Ever

DS will go to daycare when I am on leave. He only goes 3 days a week so he will continue on those day. He would totally be bored with me and the baby every day. Plus then it gives me one on one time with the baby.

emberlee3

Heck yeah.

sdlaura

ccam said:

We're trying for #2 but I fully intend on keeping DS in daycare while I'm on leave.  I might keep him home more often after I get into the swing of things, but I feel like the routine is good for him, plus he loves it there.  Not to mention, if I pull him out, he will lose his spot. 

This.  DD is 14 months and we are expecting baby #2 at the beginning of February.  We are lucky that daycare is a short walk away, so I won't have to get everyone in the car to take her, and I imagine I'll do some later arrivals and early pick-ups, and maybe some days at home like my last month of leave. 

MamaBovs

My husband got 4 weeks off when #2 was born (happened to fall over the holidays so was awesome!)  We kept #1 home while he was home with me, but after he went back to work, #1 went back to daycare.  Only a month, b/c I had to go back to work at 8 weeks.  We're currently trying for #3.  Not sure exactly what we'll do this time, but that worked well last time so will probably try to do that again if we can cut it financially.  It was great to be able to spend some time one on one with the baby plus be able to relax a bit and get some things done around the house while the baby was sleeping.

Good luck!

thedash

We kept DS home a few days while both DH and I were off right after DD was born. It was even hard with both of us home. DS is used to a full day of activities so DH was running around with him when he would have liked to be resting or helping me with the cleaning and cooking. Maybe it's because DD is a very fussy baby or DS is at a crazy toddler stage but I find that having them both home all day is total chaos. Not how I want to spend my maternity leave.

daisy662

I am going to play it by ear to an extent. My day care center is planning to be really flexible with us which is great. At this point, I plan to keep him in doc ft the first two weeks and then drop him to a couple days and finally pull him completely the last week or two. But that could change. He will only be about 18 months when dd is born, so having the both seems challenging to me!

emberlee3

I should add that DH only took time off while I was in the hospital and I had a c/s so I needed time to recover.

Mrs.RockyM

We did.  I wanted DD1 to maintain her schedule as much as possible, and I also wanted to make sure I had time to bond with DD2, and not while I was entertaining or playing with DD1.  Plus the whole sleep when the baby sleeps doesn't really take into account you're with any other children!

82Sonia

I was thinking about this too.  Are you at all worried about your oldest bringing home all those awesome DC germs to the newborn?  I don't have a second yet but I've had that in the back of mind since DD started DC.

melody921

We sent him. I thought it was important for him to maintain his typical schedule, and I knew he'd get more attention at school than he would from an overtired version of me, occupied with caring for a baby.

APendola

I'm thinking that I'll send DD to daycare full time for a couple weeks and then maybe part time for a little longer. I think the daycare is nice for them because it gives them some structure and activity that they aren't going to get at home with a mom caring for a newborn. It would also be nice for you, of course.  Would partime daycare be more in your budget?

AEBlair06

Our son will be almost 5 when out daughter is born, he is still in a home daycare. We cannot afford to send him while I am out, no pay for the 8 wks. I want to keep him home, I work full time and wish I had more time with him. Plus, since he will be in school in the fall, it's a nice chance to get some time with him. Even if we could afford to send him, I would still want him home with us. I am already planning short 'field trips' to keep him busy, as well as activities. My daycare provider is awesome, is holding our spots until I go back to work, and has said to send him over for the day once a week (no charge!!!) so he can play with his friends and have some fun. Maybe you can keep your first home an work out a 1-2 days at daycare/week?

sdlaura

AEBlair06 said:

Our son will be almost 5 when out daughter is born, he is still in a home daycare. We cannot afford to send him while I am out, no pay for the 8 wks. I want to keep him home, I work full time and wish I had more time with him. Plus, since he will be in school in the fall, it's a nice chance to get some time with him. Even if we could afford to send him, I would still want him home with us. I am already planning short 'field trips' to keep him busy, as well as activities. My daycare provider is awesome, is holding our spots until I go back to work, and has said to send him over for the day once a week (no charge!!!) so he can play with his friends and have some fun. Maybe you can keep your first home an work out a 1-2 days at daycare/week?

I could see keeping my older daughter home if she were 4 or 5.  I think the OP would likely have a 2-year-old, and that would be tough.

StayingSecret

Nope.  I'm on ML now and keeping LO#1 at home.  But since I use family for daycare, I'm not paying either.  It wasn't really a financial decision though, but more about keeping the family together. 

ETA: LO #1 is 19 months old and we're all doing quite well at home.

financialdiva

82Sonia said:

I was thinking about this too.  Are you at all worried about your oldest bringing home all those awesome DC germs to the newborn?  I don't have a second yet but I've had that in the back of mind since DD started DC.

I was, especially bc DS2 was a Jan baby, so cold and flu season and all. When I pick up DS1, I always make him wash his hands before leaving DC. When DS2 was born, we continued that and I went a little crazy and would change his clothes as soon as we got home.

That lasted about two weeks. Ain't nobody got time for that!

But the hand washing continued. DS2 got his first cold at 2 months. It wasn't awful. Obvi he survived

Maybride2

Yup, I sent my 4 year old to daycare while I was on ML, for all the reasons mentioned. And I'm so thankful that I did. He needed structure, I needed rest, I didn't want him watching hours of TV while I sat on the couch nursing his brother.