Thinking Ahead......

JBDamonM

I'm not sure why this was such a hot topic on my mind today, but I guess IF Changes how you plan things

So I'm hoping others will weigh in on what they would do or have done.

DH and I are hoping to go for an FET next year. (Hoping to get a few ducks in a row before this so planned timeline could change). The plan (since LO was a couple months old) has always been to go back to RE when she turns 1 to discuss options and next steps and then do an FET in August. (I want to enjoy most of the summer without being pregnant!)

The issue? I turn 35 in August. GASP. Seriously, how in gods name did THAT happen!?!?!? Anyways - I digress..... My clinic's protocol is with blasts to put one back in patients under 35, and two back in patients over 35.

I REALLY don't think I can handle twins. Everything from the thought of a new/bigger car, to three kids in daycare to double diapers and such would be a financial challenge for us. And while I know we'd figure it out, it's really not the ideal situation for this family. I will obviously lay all of this on the table when we go back to RE... And my thought is to start with putting 1 back (we have 5 frozen, so we would still have 4 remaining).....

BUT.... I started thinking about this this morning and am not convinced it's so easy. My insurance (which I am so thankful to have) will only cover 3 IVF's or FET's. SO we have 2 left.  Also, how many will they defrost? (@ccam, hoping you will answer that since we go to the same clinic)...WIll my 5 last as long as I think? Also, I am a (fraternal) twin.... which makes me that much more afraid of having two put back!

I had a very good pregnancy and delivery with LO and would just want to be sure that only putting one back would still give me a great chance of getting pregnant. I mean I'll be less than a month after 35, should things really change that much? and obviously the embryos will think I"m only 33! (one big bonus to IF!) I've had some cervical issues with irregular paps - but nothing that should make me think my lady bits would be unwelcoming to a future child.

Anyways, I know this is all a moot point right now, but I would love to hear feedback from others who may have been in the same situation

Happy Hump Day ladies!

ccam

Here is what was done with my frosties...

I had 7 - 5 were frozen individually and 2 were frozen together (the thinking is that if the first 5 do not result in a pregnancy, I would most likely transfer 2 for my final FET...hopefully it doesn't come to that though!)  They thaw one the morning of the transfer, as long as it survives the thaw and looks good, they transfer that one embryo.  The only reason they would thaw more than one at a time is if the first didn't look so good, or if you were transferring more than 1.  The thaw process is pretty quick, so it shouldn't hold you up.

I would think they handle frosties pretty similar, so you're probably in the same situation.  I totally agree with you about transferring more than one.  I'm not yet 35, but close, and I'm in no way ready to go that route, even with my last FET failing. 

JBDamonM

Incredibly helpful info! Thanks @ccam!

I'm guessing within my 5 that is at least 1 that is frozen individually, if not 3, so this makes me feel a little bit better.

It scares me to put 1 back and have it fail and then be looking at the last cycle insurance will cover (again, I know I"m lucky to have coverage at all).....  but I know it needs to be one step at a time.

I think my issue is that I have an underlying fear of not being able to get pregnant again. Which is silly. It's routed in nothing,  but I believe it's just wounds from the initial diagnosis that haven't quite healed yet.

 

JBDamonM

and 7 frosties is amazing!!!!! good for you

ccam

No problem!!  I do have the same fear as you though.  I'm beginning to wonder if we were just incredibly lucky to get pregnant on our first IVF.  But I've only had one FET so far and I know it's not the end of the world.  We're so lucky to have 7 frosties.  But like you said, one step at a time!

 

itsmevkb

Are you sure that the recommendation regarding how many to put back isn't based on fresh cycles?  I don't see what age has to do with your body after 35 with regards to carrying a pregnancy, afterall, there are women in their 60s who have carried pregnancies to term.  Isn't that more of an issue with egg quality.  So, if your embryos are from when you were 33 wouldn't the recommendation be to transfer one no matter at what age you do the transfer?

Even if the recommendation is to transfer two, my advice is always to never transfer more than you want to be pregnant with.  In the long run, yes, you may end up paying for a FET yourself, but trust me, that is FAR less expensive than raising twins!

JBDamonM

itsmevkb said:

Are you sure that the recommendation regarding how many to put back isn't based on fresh cycles?  I don't see what age has to do with your body after 35 with regards to carrying a pregnancy, afterall, there are women in their 60s who have carried pregnancies to term.  Isn't that more of an issue with egg quality.  So, if your embryos are from when you were 33 wouldn't the recommendation be to transfer one no matter at what age you do the transfer?

Even if the recommendation is to transfer two, my advice is always to never transfer more than you want to be pregnant with.  In the long run, yes, you may end up paying for a FET yourself, but trust me, that is FAR less expensive than raising twins!

Hummm - that's a good question! And I know 4 of my 5 frosties were frozen on day 5, one straggler made it on day 6, so I believe they are all good quality....I agree with yout thought process and you make a GREAT point on an FET being less expensive than raising twins!

JBDamonM

ccam said:

No problem!!  I do have the same fear as you though.  I'm beginning to wonder if we were just incredibly lucky to get pregnant on our first IVF.  But I've only had one FET so far and I know it's not the end of the world.  We're so lucky to have 7 frosties.  But like you said, one step at a time!

 

I hate that we feel this way

BUT - rest assured, I'm sure if you have any more issues Dr. D will do some investigative work to figure out if there is another issue and work through it. If nothing else, at the end of the day we should both remind ourselves that we are in good hands with our RE's

 

IBackBevo

I agree with itsmevkb. When I was looking at ivf, I was under the impression it was based on age at time of retrieval as to whether they rec'd transfering one or two because uover 5 you are moreelikely to have only one take due to chromosomal abnormalities in the eggs. But if your eggs were frozen at 33, they are perpetually 33 while frozen.

JBDamonM

Thanks for the insight ladies! I'm glad I asked, it would make this thought process a lot easier if you are all right (which you probably are)

CarrieB.

I don't see why you can't transfer just 1. Your embies aren't 35. If you want to transfer 1, just be an advocate for yourself and ask for it.

I only had one frostie left when we did this FET, but I would have asked to only transfer one anyway and I'm 35.

JBDamonM

MrsLee04 said:

JBDamonM said:

 My clinic's protocol is with blasts to put one back in patients under 35, and two back in patients over 35.

That may be their protocol, but in the end you call the shots.  They cannot force you to transfer more than you're comfortable with.  If you only want to transfer 1, they have to respect your wishes.

I know! And I have 100% confidence they would respect my wishes! But at the same time I don't want to decrease my chances of success! And therefore would think long and hard about going against their recommendations. Its silly that I'm putting so much thought into this so far in advance but I can't help it. Sometimes I think I hold onto the planning aspect of timing treatments since I can't really control any other aspect of being pregnant

carrera317

We were in a very similar boat.  We ideally would only like to have 1 more child.  The car/daycare/diaper thing and all with twins is really more than what we want. After several failed cycles though we changed our minds.  Dylan is the only grand child on both sides.  He has no true cousins and only one uncle.  We agreed that he, someday, will need true family.  So after 3 failed rounds of transferring 1 embryo, we have transferred 2 the past 2 cycles.  It was a long and tough decision to come to and one that we still struggle some with.  We know that we have been blessed with an amazing child and are hoping that a little icing on top isn't too much to ask for.  

That being said... your embryos aren't 35 y.o.  You are doing a FET with younger embryos.  It's your call in the end.  We went against our docs advise on our 3rd round and only transferred one.  Another doc in our practice agreed with us afterward. Your body, your life, you live with the choices, do what you want!  And don't spend too much time dwelling on it.  It will drive you crazy!  

JBDamonM

carrera317 said:

We were in a very similar boat.  We ideally would only like to have 1 more child.  The car/daycare/diaper thing and all with twins is really more than what we want. After several failed cycles though we changed our minds.  Dylan is the only grand child on both sides.  He has no true cousins and only one uncle.  We agreed that he, someday, will need true family.  So after 3 failed rounds of transferring 1 embryo, we have transferred 2 the past 2 cycles.  It was a long and tough decision to come to and one that we still struggle some with.  We know that we have been blessed with an amazing child and are hoping that a little icing on top isn't too much to ask for.  

That being said... your embryos aren't 35 y.o.  You are doing a FET with younger embryos.  It's your call in the end.  We went against our docs advise on our 3rd round and only transferred one.  Another doc in our practice agreed with us afterward. Your body, your life, you live with the choices, do what you want!  And don't spend too much time dwelling on it.  It will drive you crazy!  

Great response! Really puts it into perspective! Thanks for the insight.

Mrs.AmyDylan

Having transferred two from my fresh cycle and taking home one baby and no frosties, I'm not sure what we would do if we have to head back to the RE. I'm not sure I could handle sleep issues with two (J is an up and down all night baby).

I also had the most beautiful, zen, and amazing intervention & med-free birth. That would not have been an option at my birthing center with twins. I really, truly only want to birth at my center again, so we would really have to think hard on how the cycle goes before transferring more than one.