New Developments : )

maddyshaw

Hey there!

So, hubby and I have discussed our plan further (he wants to "try" in October 2014, but he agreed when I said I wanted to stop taking my BC pills now to give my body a chance to get its rhythm going. (A little personal background: I got on the Implanon BC in October 2012 and had nothing but trouble in the last year with all kinds of bad side effects, so I went back to trusty ol' Ortho-Tricyclen Lo this September. I was on it for one month when I decided to stop taking it due to baby plans. Today is only day 3 of no BCP) So like I said, I want to give my body a chance to even things out internally and use this time wisely to give my vitamins a chance to do their job. My hopes are to be in tip-top-baby-making shape! His end game is October 2014, but he is just as excited as I am that there is always the possibility of a slip-up (which I am secretly hoping for... :-p ) DH is pretty confident that he can handle the next year using only condoms (ick!) but we'll see how that goes because we haven't used them for three years! I wish I could shake him and get his brain on the same level as mine, but I respect his want for a year, etc. and he's probably a little scared to be a dad, I totally get it. I'm just so anxious!!! :-p My Sister (Mommy of 2 "pull out methods" as she reminds me! Haha!) is convinced I'll be knocked up within a month off the pill. "We're fertile women!" She says. We'll see. :-p 

Valancyy

Sounds like a plan!  When we were TTA during times between kids we would use condoms, but if there was a part of my cycle I was pretty sure I wasn't fertile, we would forgo the condoms.  I wasn't charting my temps, so we weren't officially using the Fertility Awareness Method to avoid, but it was good enough for us.  We figured if I did somehow end up pregnant, it wasn't a big deal.

 

maddyshaw

Joy2611, 

Thanks for your advice however, #1 is not at all the plan, and I'm shocked that anything I have written gave off that vibe. in reference to what Valancyy posted, that's more where we are. As I stated in my initial post: His end game is October 2014, but he is just as excited as I am that there is always the possibility of a slip-up. 

Thanks for the comments, all. 

dkbop1818

maddyshaw said:

Joy2611, 

Thanks for your advice however, #1 is not at all the plan, and I'm shocked that anything I have written gave off that vibe. in reference to what Valancyy posted, that's more where we are. As I stated in my initial post: His end game is October 2014, but he is just as excited as I am that there is always the possibility of a slip-up. 

Thanks for the comments, all. 

Welcome and it sounds like you have a good plan.  However I don't know how you were shocked by the earlier comment.  When I was reading your post I felt like you were saying your DH wanted to wait until next year, but you were hoping there would be a slip-up.  That's just how it came across to me when I was reading it.  Having a baby is really hard, and doing it before your DH is ready will make it a million times harder. 

Milagros315

I thought the same thing as Joy2611. In my opinion, hoping for a "slip-up" and being okay with the possibility of one are very different things. Maybe that's why your post was interpreted differently than you intended.

I still agree with all of Joy's advice. Good luck to you!

EmeJay

FWIW - The fertility of your sister has nothing to do with yours

maddyshaw

I quoted that in my last comment... And we aren't starting to TRY now, but we're in agreement that if it happens, it happens! And if it doesn't, then yay for next year. We will be happy regardless. I know my husband, and he is going to get tired of using protection. 

I was super excited to share this info with mommies/soon to-be-mommies, etc. and I'm a little distraught at how this is going. I'm feeling a tad judged by people who don't know me or my relationship. Guess that shows me not to share my stuff because there's always a chance people will read it opposite of how I mean. This is a bit discouraging.

I was excited to escape Facebook and share things with other women who may be in my situation or who have been. Instead, I'm getting the idea that I'm being viewed as going behind my hubby's back or something... 

Learned a lesson today. 

maddyshaw

Nothing I wrote in my initial post is news to my hubby, he knows how I feel. This is obnoxious. I thought this was supposed to be women chatting and reaching out to each other. 

Sheesh! 

EmeJay

Dude - If you're that easily offended at these very very soft comments, you're gonna have a though time here.

Remove the stick up your ass, and you'll have a lot of fun. Otherwise, BABY DUST!!!!!!!111!1!!

dogperson11

Welcome to the board and good luck I didn't think your post sounded like you're trying to trap anyone, but we do get some people coming through here who have that in mind so I think others were just putting the caution out there. Hope you decide to stick around (took me a while to get used to how some respond, but realized everyone's being very honest and giving factual information)! Best of luck!

ADH0906

Listen, I think I can understand what you meant about slip-ups.... DH and I initially had an "okay, by X date we'd be super ready financially and it won't impact field season and etc" date, but then we realised we didn't want to wait until a baby fit perfectly into our timetable and started trying anyway.  I get that, really I do.  But your OP sounded an awful lot like accidentally-on-purpose, which is shitty.  If that is not what you meant, then welcome and good luck! 

Read the blog for new users at the top of the boards and take a few days to lurk and get a feel for the personality of the board... if the comments above are offensive to you, you might want to move along.  This is no place for bullshittery, and that's why this board is so amazing. 

maddyshaw

I realize people could be saying MUCH, MUCH worse things, and what not. Just felt sort of attacked for a minute there! 

I'm in the military, I hear crazy stuff all day! Oh, the stories I could tell everyone. :-p I'll be okay. But just for the record, I am NOT some crazed, controlling spouse who would trap her hubby. My hubby and I are just fine. Sorry to give off any other kind of vibe. 

Moving on. 

maddyshaw

Your advice was helpful. 

My husband shares the same feelings I do about it all. If we get pregnant before October '14, yay! 

Still learning to ropes on how to communicate on here, I'll be more clear next time. Thank you.  

dkbop1818

Totally not judging you, and you are totally right to be excited about everything.  It is very exciting! I understand that, and I also understand being anxious because you are ready before your husband because I was as well.

My advice, as someone who has been through it, is that you will want and need your husband to be on board. It seemed to me that waiting another year to start trying, and having a slip-up that you are hoping for next month are TOTALLY different things.  Come October 2014, you could be up all night with a baby and your sleep deprived husband will be thinking, "wait, didn't I say I wanted to start trying NOW?" 

Not trying to be mean, or think I know you or your relationship, but my husband was ready and it was still hard.  Being on the same page is important, that's all I am saying.

samantha1477

EmeJay said:

FWIW - The fertility of your sister has nothing to do with yours

EmeJay I was going to say the same thing! My younger sister got pregnant the first time she had sex. And then again within a month of meeting her now husband. And here I am temping and using a fertility monitor, 4 cylcles in with no luck yet. I know 4 cycles is nothing, but it is a very different fertility journey than my sister had.

divinemsbee

Yeah, I read the OP exactly like most of the PPs did, and I'm glad you came back and clarified, but there was no need to get so defensive. If 95% of the people reading something take it in the same way, it's a problem with how it was written, not a problem with the people reading it. You got some good advice about what to do while you're waiting to try. It seems like what you're really doing is not trying, but not scrupulously preventing, and I feel like that could be a real mindfuck for you.

My 2 cents is that it seems like what you're doing could get really stressful if you keep hoping for an oopsie based on what you or your sister thinks about your fertility. Keep in mind that you only have a 20% chance of getting knocked up every month, so even if you aren't being careful about your birth control, that's no guarantee that you're going to mess up at the 'right' time. I would start temping if I were you (it's going to make TTC easier when the time comes) but with that comes the responsibility of knowing your fertile times and knowing that you need to be careful with condoms during them. I do feel like if you know when you're fertile and you still encourage your H to not use protection, then you're either baiting him or you're just NTNP. I get trying, and I get not trying not preventing, but not trying and hoping for an accident seems like it could get really weird.