need to vent..

kzibble3149

Ok so its been a while since I have been on here, but I just needed to get something off of my chest, and I thought, what better place? Lately DH and I have been having issues, just get disconnected from each other. I can't speak for why this is for him, but for me, its mostly work stressing me out. I work anywhere from 50-65 hours a week, in what I consider a fairly stressful position, with about 50 associates that I am directly responsible for. I am just exhausted all of the time, and when I am finally at home I just want to sleep. Well, I don't WANT to sleep, but I ca barely drag myself into the house when I get home. This has been going on for about 3 years now, no end in sight. I am the bread winner, which adds another level to it.. I'm not home nearly as much as I want to be, or NEED to be. I don't feel like I am being a very good mother, and I know I'm not giving my husband enough attention so then I'm not being a very good wife. Lately it has gotten harder and harder to leave the house, making me feel like I'm not being a very good manager because I just want to bolt out the door and go home and never think about anything else again. Which I know can't happen. I have tried to talk to DH about this before, but he doesn't understand, doesn't think its a big deal. I just don't know what to do anymore, and I feel like my world is going to crash down around me at any moment. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this other than just to vent, and to maybe feel like someone is feeling or has felt the same way I'm feeling now. I used to enjoy my job, maybe not all of the time, but I just feel like it shouldn't be this hard... I feel like something has to give.... I dunno.. maybe I just need some sleep.

djm31012

Can you and DH get away for a weekend together ? Maybe take a Fri/Mon off...go away til Sunday then have all day Mon with LO? Sounds like you just need to step on the breaks and re group and connect with your family again. I have felt this way at times...like DH and I are passers in the night. We arent having issues, but some weeks go by and on the weekend I think to myself, wow we barely spoke this week, thats not good! So we try to reconnect when DS goes to bed...with a bottle of wine on the couch, no tv. Or out by the fire pit or something.

For a longer term solution...are you happy at work? Do you like your job? If not maybe its time to start interviewing...if you do but its just too much, talk to your boss about some flexibility regarding hours or days working...maybe you can work longer M-Thurs and have Fridays off...or maybe once a week you can work from home or something. See what type of situation you can work out.

Good luck! Its def not easy to juggle everything! We can all relate in some way or another.

jlaOK

I would definitely talk to your DH about this.  He probably has no idea how stressed you are and just sees that you are disconnected.  He may be able to pick up some of the slack and give you some time to decompress.  I'd also recommend taking a Friday off of work just to relax and have some time to yourself.

mexicolombiana

I agree with other people above about taking a good solid few days off.  Maybe just go out to dinner once a month or something if you can't get away for a weekend. 

Working sucks sometimes.  I work pretty decent hours but I do so much crap at home that I also get overwhelmed sometimes.  

Do you think you might need a new job?  

sillygirlio

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.  That is a lot of hours at work!  If it's not reasonable to cut back on hours, would it be reasonable to hire someone to clean the house?  Cook?  Would a tweak to the daycare situation add anymore free time to your life?

I hope you can figure something out.

tarynh75

Honestly, it sounds like you are depressed. I would recommend talking to your Dr. About the hopelessness you are feeling. I have been there and sometimes things get out of whack and your doctor can help. You need to talk to your husband too, but it sounds like depression may be playing a role. Hope it gets better. Xxx

sugarbear0524

If I were you, I would consider another job, even if it paid less. DH and I both have jobs that allow flexibility and good hours (DH works 40  and I work 37). DH makes less money with this job than he used to but he is home by 5:30 every day and we feel it's worth it. We're on a tighter budget but we're together more and a lot happier.

Another idea--could your DH find a way to make some extra money so you could afford to take a new job with a cut in pay to decrease your hours and responsibilities? You didn't mention whether you're the sole breadwinner or just the main one.