Late Term and Child Loss

Made it through (barely)

After calling my local funeral home (around the corner from my house), they referred me to another home with their own crematorium. DH and I went this afternoon, and did what we had to do to get Gabriel and Sophie taken care of. They should be coming home to us in a few days, assuming all goes well with the hospital and secretary of state. I was surprised to find out we would get death certificates for them. The funeral director was kind enough to give us their urns for free, which I will not complain about because they are lovely urns. A blue and a pink one. Unfortunately they are not engravable, but I can always engrave a picture frame or something else. I'm partly convinced they will have a little shrine in our house. I want to have them close to us, if that makes any sense. The other hard thing to do today was to cancel the crib, for which we got store credit. We've been home ever since, and so far I am feeling kind of decent. At least for now. I just want my babies home already. I have also submitted to my parish a request to dedicate a mass for my angels. I love them so much, I just hope they know it wherever they are. Thanks for all your support today, I don't know how far I could've gone without it. Big hugs to everyone.
On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
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Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


Re: Made it through (barely)

  • I understand wanting them to be close to you.  The most wonderful feeling through all this sadness was to bring Coraline home with me.  So many hugs to you.

    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

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  • When we brought Jesse home , I had a really hard time with it. I thought I would be relieved to have his cremains home, but I was heartbroken all over again that all I had was a tiny box.

    It was a really tough day with a lot of complicated emotions. We put his urn on a bookshelf we bought just for that purpose, and also have candles flowers, his memory box, baby blanket and photos displayed. I also ordered a "Certificate of Life" from Carly Marie 's site since we didn't get a birth certificate. A 'shrine ' or other special place is a great way to honor your babies, IMO.

    Lots of healing thoughts coming your way <3
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    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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  • We did set up a shrine of sorts. It has a ceramic box with his footprints on it 

    We also got votive candle holders
    which were customized with his name and a picture of a baby elephant.

    Both places were fast with beautiful products

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    IVF#1 - BFP 6/18/13 - Tommy born sleeping 10/1/13

    IVF#2 - BFN

    IVF#3 - BFP 6/5/14 EDD 2/14/15 TWIN BOYS  - MATTHEW AND TIMOTHY ARRIVE 12/2/14


  • Big hugs to you. Those are really difficult things to do that no parent should ever have to go through.
  • I remember feeling so much better when Parker was finally home with us. It wasn't the way I wanted it to be, but at least we were under the same roof. DH is going to make a wooden memory box for all her things and we are making a picture book for us and our parents to remember her. So sorry you're having to go through all this. 
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  • I find it amazing that through all the heartache, there can be ladies such as yourselves that can still find love and kindness to give forward. Bless you all. I woke up crying again today. I can't grapple with the fact that there is nothing wrong I've done, nothing I could have done to prevent. The questions of did I do everything to make sure they were safe? Did I complain a little too much while pg that God saw fit to undo what was done? DH is wonderful and constantly reminds me that even if there was something, how would we know? There was no way to prevent or know until something happened, which it did. How could that possibly be our fault? I admit every day gets a little better, but I feel so hollow inside. I realized that I was empty, and that is when the waterworks came. DH is back at work today. He works from home so it's not that serious, but obviously he will be working and not nursing my wounds. I am praying for a little more strength today, to get through. I am also praying for you all, also. 
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • Wanting your precious babies close makes absolute sense. We have Marianne's memory box as well as her ashes (in a wooden box) on our mantle. I can't bear the thought of having her anywhere else. I kiss those boxes every day.

    You know what's best for your heart; don't be afraid to follow it xox

    It's perfectly normal to ask all of the horrible questions; I'm still having moments of absolute hopelessness. But even though I'm sure everyone has told you, especially your doctor, I'm going to repeat it again: there is nothing you did that could have prevented such a devastating tragedy. You took care of yourself as best you can, and pregnancy is never easy. Please don't weigh this on yourself.

    I'm really grateful that your DH is helping you through this; take his support and love and surround yourself with it.  (((Hugs)))

    ~All are welcome~
    MC 23/01/2013 natural @ 7 Weeks

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  • ***LO ticker*** Honestly, we still haven't picked up our baby's ashes. We know they are ready, it's just been too hard. I'm trying to decide if I want to set up a shelf or table or something for his things. kz's_girlygirl: our state does stillbirth certificates. No one told us about that - not the hospital, our doctor, the funeral home. It wasn't until I went online and started looking around did I realize I could request his still birth certificate. Just thought I would mention, your state might have something similar?
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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • Big hugs to you. I picked up Raynor ashes yesterday too :(
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    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

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