advice please

JGo517

So I have a good friend who is due a few weeks before me (very soon!!!)  We are both team green. However, as part of her religious beliefs, she plans to use the first letter of a family member who has passed away when naming her LO.  My DH and I have decided on a boys name and I am 99.9% sure it begins with the same letter that she may have to be using.

So, my question is......do I ask her if she IS using that letter? I do not want to ask her about her name choices...but I also have this insane fear that we may both have the same boy name option. My DH thinks I'm crazy, so I thought I would reach out to you all for some advice on how to approach the situation. :-) Do I just suck it up and wait for her to have her baby??  It just took DH and I forever to agree on a boys name, so I'd hate to start back at square one if by some weird chance we have the same name...haha.....

What do you ladies think???? Am I being crazy???? :-/

JaysonandKristin

Just let it be.  She's got her traditions and you've got your naming preferences.  Furthermore, if you guys have opposite sex babies, or both have girls, it's a moot point.

LouRN09

I wouldn't honestly ask anything. Just say, out of pure excitement, "DH and I have decided on a name and it is ___!" Just like any other conversation you may have with a friend. Unless of course you'd rather have your name selection be a secret until birth? If she has her baby, and it happens to be the same name that you have selected, then simply state "gosh, we have excellent taste in names!" And just let it be.

Scarlett&Gatsby

JaysonandKristin said:

Just let it be.  She's got her traditions and you've got your naming preferences.  Furthermore, if you guys have opposite sex babies, or both have girls, it's a moot point.

Exactly. There's no point in making a big thing out of it when one or both of you might not even be having a boy. Also...what exactly is the plan if you find out she's using "your" name? I assume you wouldn't try to pressure her into another name (because that would be a total dick move), so I guess I don't see what finding out any sooner accomplishes. If she uses it, you still have to decide if you're sticking with the name or finding something else.

ellebee2

Would you change your name choice if it is the same? If not, it doesn't really matter. And even so, you will find out when she has her baby - likely a couple weeks before you. So I'd be inclined to let it be.

When I was PG, my good friend was due a month after me. We were both team green. We both had the exact same boy name selected and similar girl names (both 5 letter S names)... we laughed about it when we found out, saying we obviously had great taste in names. 

We both ended up having girls. A week apart. We both went with our original S names. It is NBD. 

JGo517

Sakura0019 said:

I had friends who were due two weeks apart, both with girls. Some of their names were the same, but both wanted to keep their name a secret until after the baby was born. Sooooo, once it got close and they each had a 'short list', they each wrote the list down and we took the list down to the corner store and simply asked the cashier if the lists had any if the same names ... Turned out they didn't )

That is such a cute idea!!! Thanks for sharing!!! :-)

JGo517

Thanks for the advice.  I know that there is a possibility that we will have opposite sex babies, or that neither one of us will have boys.  I would never ask her to change her name choice if I found out they were the same and I honestly don't know what I would do if she ended up naming a boy my name.  I guess thats why I was looking for advice here.....thought maybe some of you had a similar situation at some point.

bwralc

I would just share your names with her during casual conversation. That way she knows your names and will hopefully share hers or at least not use the same ones

zaramarie81

JaysonandKristin said:

Just let it be.  She's got her traditions and you've got your naming preferences.  Furthermore, if you guys have opposite sex babies, or both have girls, it's a moot point.

This. The best you can do is find a way to laugh about it if your babies end up with identical names. If it does happen (and it might not), and you are really bothered by it, unfortunately the only graceful option (if you can't live with them having the same name) is for you to find another name.

zaramarie81

Sakura0019 said:

I had friends who were due two weeks apart, both with girls. Some of their names were the same, but both wanted to keep their name a secret until after the baby was born. Sooooo, once it got close and they each had a 'short list', they each wrote the list down and we took the list down to the corner store and simply asked the cashier if the lists had any if the same names ... Turned out they didn't )

Love this! It also prevents that awful, awkward scenario where a couple shares a favorite name in hopes friends/family will see it as "off limits" and then it backfires with the other couple falling in love with the forbidden name and using it when they weren't planning on it.

Kmommy91

Just ask