How do I move past the it's not fair funk?

amandager99

How am I supposed to move past the it's not fair funk when I continue to see more and more pregnancy announcements? From people that are on their third or fourth kid? The ones that aren't even trying? The ones that really shouldn't even be getting pregnant (for reasons of drugs)? How do I move on when we are trying with no results? When my sister makes stupid comments about "those" women that get their amazing bodies back after babies. Umm... Hello? I wouldn't care what my body looked like, the few left over pounds, if I had my baby.

How do I move on when I don't have my baby boy in my arms?

Sorry, I needed to get this out somewhere

BrittianyM

Not sure, I need help with that too.      Sorry hun.

bunnybun4

I agree...it's still hard for me.  some days are worse than others.  it's not fair.

CRUN2012

I absolutely understand where you're coming from...I don't have the answer either. .but sometimes I try to remind myself that these miracles do happen most of the time and the losses we've experienced aren't the norm...it helps me feel hopeful...hugs to you.

schulme2

I don't know... Every time I think I'm past it, I'll hear something else and... Nope. I'm back in that place again.

jess123456

I am so with you on this and wish I had an answer but unfortunately I don't. It is just plain not fair. I just don't get it and not even for a second.

My husband and I often say that we should become drug addicts and be homeless and maybe then things will go our way. Wow I sound really bitter but you know what I mean

VyD81

I'm not sure...I wish I have an answer. Big hugs to you

@jess123456 My husband and I feel the same way. If we don't care and stop donating money to charities, maybe things will go our way.

It's so unfair, we waited until we were older and financially ready.

kz's_girlygirl

I don't think I'll ever get past that feeling, simply because it isn't fair.  The universe is random, and I don't believe there is any sense of fairness in any of this. Hugs to you, and everyone who needs one!

schulme2

Has anyone seen the movie "Idiocracy"? It's a stupid funny movie but the premise is that the smart, stable couples end up not having children and the stupid, trashy people have a ridiculous number of kids and 500 years from now the world is just so dumb and in pieces. I really fear that this is how it will be!

amandager99

Thank you everyone . I know there aren't really any answers sadly, I just had to shout it out somewhere. I just don't know how many more pregnancy announcements I can take. And I don't want to give up fb, I guess I might need to.

kz's_girlygirl

I disabled the 'show in newsfeed' option for anyone who is , or who I suspect might become pregnant in the near future. Maybe that could be an option for you? I didn't want to totally quit fb either, but this is working for me right now.

diamante1181

Dang it, I was really hoping for an answer. Oh well. I'm not even really at the acceptance stage yet anyhow.

JessicaG220

No idea. FB is such a bad thing with all of the countless pregnancy and new baby announcements. It does seen to always be those less deserving. You know what makes me feel a bit better, though? I don't know people's personal struggles or problems. 99% of the time, people's lives seem perfect to outsiders on FB, but it's usually those most unhappy who spend their time posting. Their lives are not as perfect as they lead people to believe. Hugs to you!

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***



Up until about a month ago, I hid people from my newsfeed that had babies or were expecting. It's so hard to watch all of that unfold when you're still grieving. I still think it isn't fair that I had to lose my baby and so many others got to take theirs home, and Devon was born sleeping more than a year ago. I think a part of me will always feel that way...just a part of my new "normal".

Sending lots of hugs to you and everyone on this board.

BrittianyM

One thing that does help me, sometimes, is when I see a baby or a pregnant lady I think to myself, "I don't know if that is their rainbow baby or I don't know their future". I went through all the same pregnancy things, I delievered my baby girl just like the next mom and was even an acting mommy for about 3 months and now I don't have my daughter. That means it can happen to anyone at anytime and I don't know that won't happen to them. Like I said, it only helps sometimes.