Hitting the dog

aeh72

DS loves to hit our dog - not in an agressive way; he thinks it's funny and like he's playing with her, even though he sometimes hits her really hard on the head.  Our dog, while a little rowdy with him too sometimes, is very gentle and sweet with him.  She never snaps or gets agressive back with him.  Me, on the other hand - I get angry. It's the only thing that DS does that truly makes me angry (even though I know he's not trying to hurt her).  I just can't stop my instinct of jumping up and snatching whatever is his hand that he's hitting her with and grabbing it from him.  Or, I grab his hand away from her.  I feel terrible every time I do this. This is not what I want to model to him.  I also always say, "we don't hit Scoutie, it hurts her. Hitting hurts," and I always pet our dog and say in front of DS, "are you okay?"  Sometimes DS cries when I reprimand him; other times he just laughs and continues on his merry way.  Am I handling this right? Is there a better approach to helping him understand why he can't hit her (and, really anyone)?  Or, does that understanding just come with age?

allardr

My daughter used to grab a lot at our dogs ear, lip, wiskers and make our dog whimper. I just would remove her hand then put it on her body and show her how to pat the dog and say "gentle". I always used the same key word "gentle". (my DD gets patting better than petting at this point)

I'd say instead of just removing DS's hand replace it on an ok part to pat and show him. So he knows what he can do not just what he can't do.

aeh72

Thank you both!  I'm beating myself up about it this morning.  We definitely practice how to pet the dog nicely and we use the word "gentle" all the time and we often do that when he hits her with his hand.  (And, when he hits us, we'll say, "no that hurt mommy/daddy. hitting hurts", and then re-direct him elsewhere.)  But it's when he hits our dog particularly hard, it triggers this particular reaction in me - I guess I just feel like she's vulnerable even though I know she would let him know in a second if she was mad or hurt (and I'm grateful that she doesn't do that and end up hurting him).  But, I appreciate the reminders and especially the one about taking a deep breath!

APendola

When DD is annoying the dog, I stop her but I show her how to pet the dog gently.  I guide her hand and say "Nice doggy"... she eventually started petting them and saying "Naaaa...Naaaaa.." when she pets them.  She's not perfect, sometimes she kinda pokes them in the face or something, but she does try to pet them the way I showed her.

Try not to get angry...but try to redirect.  It will take a long time for young kids to be good with dogs - so be patient and constantly supervise.  I think it's important for kids to learn how to treat dogs gently because even if your dog is great, they might meet a dog one day that is more reactive.