Late Term and Child Loss

Maternity clothes and thank you cards....:(

Today was the day I moved all of my maternity clothes into another closet. It was something that I had to of because every time I walked into my closet I was reminded of the baby I no longer had. I just still can't believe that I had a few things I hadn't worn yet especially the dress for my baby shower next month. I hope that in time I will be able to look at them and not feel a sense of dread. I also sent out my thank you cards for all the flowers, phone calls and concerns that we have received over the past week. I am so tired of sending thank you cards out for support in a bad time. I am ready for the time when I send them out for flowers and gifts after bringing our baby home. Has anyone else had to do the difficult task of packing away the maternity clothes and sending out thank you cards for loosing your babies? Hugs!!!
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Re: Maternity clothes and thank you cards....:(

  • I've put away the maternity clothes, but I have a huge pile of cards / notes I need to respond to - it's a looming dread, honestly. DH tells me not to worry, but I need to get them done, if only to feel like I've accomplished something, you know?

     
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  • ***LO ticker *** Our baby shower was three days before we found out we lost Colton. I never wrote thank you cards, and I haven't been able to do it since. I just hope people understand. I too had a couple things I hadn't worn or only wore once. They are all back in the garage now. It's easier that way.
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  • irons633irons633 member
    edited October 2013
    @stefuge I am so sorry that you lost your precious baby days after celebrating his impending arrival. I do think people should understand. I know that has to be a hurtful reminder. I feel with the clothes, kinda like if I don't see them then I can heal alittle bit at a time. But it still sucks @mingaling2 I totally understand that is why I filled mine out because I needed to feel that I did something to try and heal. @aragosta I am so sorry that you still have to wear some of your maternity clothes I know that has to be salt on you wound. :( I know that hurt has to be unbearable for you celebrated his impending arrival only to now have those reminders. Hugs sweetie!!
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  • I had just sent out my thank yous for the shower. I didn't send thank yous for cards and flowers, and I think that is understandable. Don't feel pressured to do it if you can't yet.

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  • I packed up all my maternity clothes and various baby gear the day after we came home from the hospital.  I couldn't stand to see it and be reminded each time I looked in my closet, or the wold be nursery etc that I wouldn't be needing those things anymore. 

    As for thank you cards...We received a lot of cards and flowers, but I didn't send out thank you cards.  I don't plan on it either.  I sent quick messages to those who sent condolences, but this time is about DH and I, and I just can't spend the energy on thank you notes. 
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  • @shandorfml2 thank you I have finished that part and I can totally just focus on my healing. @kz's_girlygirl I totally understand that. When we lost our first baby last year before I came home from the hospital the DH had moved all the pregnancy books and anything related to the baby into a closet in the house. I slowly moved things this time but I have yet to go into the would be nursery for more than a few mins. Th crib mattress and changing table are still in the boxes which is helping. They will soon be in a closet. This just sucks all the way around!!! I'm so ready for this year to be over :(
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  • ***LO ticker*** I found cleaning out the nursery to be hard but also healing. First, i finished the room (im an interior designer, so his room was very important to me) and took photos so i will always be able to remember his room, and then, i started taking it apart. I did it slowly, little bit here and there, nothing drastic. And honestly, I thought having to walk past his empty room everyday would be really hard, but it was actually easier than walking past all of his things and seeing all the love we had poured into every carefully selected item.
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    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
    irons633
  • @stefuge that is exactly how I feel. Seeing all of her things put away just shows how loved she and her brother were. I know one day will have a baby to put in a nursery and let them know how loved their older siblings were and how important they will forever be to all of us.
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  • I didn't send thank you cards. There was too much going on at the time. I would send out a quick text and maybe a picture of the flowers when I felt up to it. I'm pretty sure I thanked everyone, but during a time like that, all you can do is work on making it through the day. If someone gets upset that they didn't receive a thank you card, then they really don't get what has happened.
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    I hadn't bought too many maternity clothes (mostly borrowed), but it was difficult to move them out of our room.

    Thank you cards were difficult because while I was thankful, I had a terrible time putting it in words, so I googled suggestions which made me feel like my thank you notes were "canned"...
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  • I only sent a quick email to everyone to say thank you.
    I shoved my maternity clothes in the back of my closet so I don't have to see them and finally worked up the courage to put them away this weekend. Unfortunately, I still don't fit in my normal clothes yet and still can't zip and button my pants all the way. I have to wear business attire to  work and have been wearing camis under my shirts to hold my pants. I'm refusing to wear the belly band as it hurts too much :(

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  • I agree, it was very hard to say what I put Ito the cards. I kept it very general and short. For the people who are very close to us that was harder. I still can only talk to my parents on the phone as for everyone else it's a text. I totally agree @VyD81 the belly band would hurt. I unfortunately am back into my regular clothes and it hurts because it's like my body had finally said okay your not pregnant anymore.
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  • Packing away my maternity clothes was brutal. My mom helped me do it so we could get through it as quickly as possible. They went into a plastic tub into the garage. It was a little better once they were gone. Taking down the crib sucked too. My parents helped. I just wanted it out of there so I didn't have to look at it anymore!

    ***rainbow pregnancy mentioned***

    There was one maternty outfit in particular I felt so sad about. I was wearing it the night I went into labor and he died. I was really wary about putting it on while pg w my rainbow. I finally talked myself into wearing the shirt, then the pants, by themselves but not as a whole outfit. I don't have many maternity clothes so I had to reuse this outfit. It took a lot of convincing myself that wearing the clothes wouldn't somehow make history repeat itself.
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  • @weddedwife I am hoping that when I do get pregnant again that I can hopefully put my maternity clothes on and not be too sad. You mentioning your rainbow pregnancy does give me hope that we will catch ours soon enough.
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