Please understand that I do not intend this question to be cold or insensitive. I have suffered losses before and I know the heart ache. My cousin came home for her dad's birthday at the beginning of the year. She was around 15 - 18 weeks pg. She wouldn't have been able to come back because of financial constraints so her mom and sister threw her an early shower. And we even footed the bill to ship all the big item across the country. It was huge and she made out like a bandit. Well, when she got home it came to pass that she suffered a miscarriage. About a month later her sister confided in me that said cousin returned all the gifts and used the cash towards the down payment of a new car. And if that is not bad enough she got pregnant again almost immediately and is coming home for Christmas as big as a house and her mother is throwing her another shower. I feel terrible that she had a loss, I really do, but gosh I feel used. I thought of the possibility that she returned the gifts because they were "meant" for the baby she lost but she didn't return any of the gifts or the money back to the gift givers. I don't think it would bother me so much if she maybe put the money in an account for the next baby or even used the money for the lost babies funeral. But she didn't. With that said, I'm happy for her and her husband that they are having a healthy baby and I wont not gift this baby with something after it is born. What is the etiquette for this? Should she have returned the money,or was she right to pocket the money for her personal use, or should she have kept all the gifts knowing she'd be trying for another baby?