Emotion overflow

irons633

I know that it's only been a week since I said hello and goodbye to our little lady Olivia, but I seems like I can not get out of this roller coaster. I seem to be okay for most part of the day but when night falls all I do is see her face and wish I still felt her in my belly for our nightly talks. With having lost before I do know that it takes time but it seems as if this time I am struggling more to get my days in order. The DH wants us to take a trip in the early part of next year maybe a month or two after our EDD of January 12th. Which I know is his way of trying to "fix" me and helping me get thru the days. But like I know many of us feel we would change everything to have our babies still growing inside. Especially since my 3rd trimester started the day after I lost my baby girl. I am truly hoping for answers in the next few months so we can start trying again. Sorry for the vent, just overcome with emotion right now. Thank you ladies so much for allowing me to share my feelings and being my shoulder.

kz's_girlygirl

  I'm sorry you are struggling.  I know the first week for me was a blur.  I didn't know what day it was, and I could barely remember what I had done each day.  Nighttime was/is the hardest time for me too because I don't have to put on a face for the rest of the world.  I cried/woke up multiple times every night crying that first week and into the second week so know you are not alone.  Let yourself feel those feelings.  You are remembering the magic of your babies, and that is never a bad thing. 

Lots of love to you!

stefuge

***LO ticker *** The nights were hardest for me as well those first few weeks. To the point my husband and I would both just plan to spend the evening just sitting, talking, crying. I know it was incredibly healing. I read somewhere that we can look at crying as getting us through to healing. That we have to cry so many tears before we can smile again, so every tear gets us closer to that place of healing. ((Hugs))

fluttergirlmoonchild79

***siggy warning***
The nights are definitely the hardest. You will find your way in time. I highly recommend going on a vacation if you can. DH and I went to the Bahamas around 2 months after we lost Corbin. It was great to sort of escape everything. It was great sitting on the beach and reconnecting.

VyD81

I'm sorry you are struggling. I'm still trying to cope with the loss too and the nights are the hardest. Hopefully in time it will get easier and eventually can think of our babies playing together in heaven...and smile.

irons633

***sorry responding from IPAD**** Thank you ladies! I hate to know that we all are going thru this. I am trying to find other hinge to occupy my nights so that I don't think so much but I find it hard. Especially now since all the commercials on TV have babies everywhere!! It's like when I was still pregnant I would welcome then and just couldn't wait to share in the joy as the commercials. Now it seems as if they haunt me. I do know time does help but it's like OMG!!! I do have a prescription for Ambien which does help me sleep and I do not have the anxiety attacks as much. I do cry at various times mostly in the shower when I am talking to my babies. @fluttergirlmoonchild79 my DH has actually suggested that we go on a trip around March and I have been looking into that. I know that will be some good time for us as well as it will be 5 months after loosing our baby girl. @VyD81 I do picture that all of our babies are smiling and playing together and watching over each and everyone one of use. That does give me comfort. @kz's_girlygirl than you so much for your words of comfort. I am surely trying. @stefuge you sound a lot like my mom. She told me to cry when I feel the need as it is apart of the healing process. Love to you all!!!