Why is my son rejecting me??

yepyepsms

I am so depressed right now. My son has always favored my husband over me (with exception of maybe the first 6 months). Lately his favoritism towards DH is out of control. For the last week he will not let me hold him, hug him, he cries when I try to interact with him and clings to my husband. It's getting so exhausting and sad and I don't know what to do. I work long hours so my hubby spends more time with him, but one maybe two hrs more than me but weekends I am there 100 percent so I can't help but feel like my long hours have impacted why he wants nothing to do with me. Plus it's hard on my relationship with DH because he resents me because he has to spend all the time and energy with lo and can't spread it between us. I feel for DH because a toddler is hard work. I don't know what to do. Help. Anyone else been through this?

allardr

I'm in the reverse situation. I'm a SAHM mostly. DD often fusses when DH tries to hold her. But have you tried this...what if DH is not around. Maybe he goes to the gym or grocery shopping and leaves you with LO. DH finds in our case once I leave for work (I sub but only on M&T when DH has off and can be with DD) DD has a great day with him. She doesn't fuss at all. But once I get home she seems to favor me again. 

It's just a phase, but I suggest give him the night off to go do something and then I bet you and LO will have more quality time (after the initial separation cry of course)

Stephorse

I am so sorry, but the other posters are right. My LO also clings to my DH, but he will still let me pick him up and such, but what has helped a lot is spending one on one time with him. If you are able let DH sleep in on the weekends and you get up with him and spend some time with him or get DH out of the house and spend some time with him. I found that by spending some play time with him has helped. Does he still prefer DH? yeah, but he knows that I love him and enjoy spending time with me and he has fun with me now too. It may just be a phase, but I would try to spend some one on one time with him as much as possible.

traveltheworld

I wanted to let you know that it may have nothing to do with the fact that you work more.  I went back to work when DS was 4 months, so DH and I see him the exact same amount; but DS is a lot more attached to me.  He didn't like DH at all until about two months ago.  Like one poster said, try spend some alone time with him.  We rotate who gets up with DS on the weekends, so when it's DH's day, I stay in bed or do household chores till about 9:30 a.m. so that DS and DH get about 2 hours alone together to just hang out.  DS used to hate it and would cry, but slowly he got more used to it and now they have their own routine.

Divallyn

Alone time! Even for a weekend straight. My girlfriend was going through this same thing and it wasn't until her hubby went away for a weekend and she got to spend the entire weekend alone with her LO did things change drastically. I also suggest that you take over the evening duties. Sure LO will fuss but they will get used to it.

PetuniaFeatherbottom

Me too, same story. My dd used to bite and scratch me, and very much favor dh. It has kinda evened out now at almost 2 years, but it was hard for a long time to watch her cry when I held her and snuggle up to the hubs. And I know it's hard to make more time; I work a ton and dh is home during the day with her. It will be ok, but I know it's hard.

yepyepsms

Thanks everyone for your thoughts! Friday night was really bad and it hit me so hard, thus the post. I did not mention that I do the bath and bed time routine every night. Ds is very much a routine boy so even on the worst nights he still comes to me for that so that's nice. Just wish it was more even between the time he spends with the two of us. We do try to have DH disappear sometimes but just doesn't always happen. I do like the idea of trying a whole weekend. Thank you again!

amil798

Same story here. DS is definitely daddy's boy. When DH enters the home in the evening, my DS runs to him and doesn't even let him close the door, put the stuff away or take off his shoes. He is so clingy with him.