Single Parents

I shouldn't care what people think but...

I just need to vent.
My son's father is a deadbeat dad. He has given $50 for him since he was born, doesn't try to help out with his expenses, and doesn't care to try and visit him or at least be on time when I visit where he lives. Yet, he posts things on facebook saying how I am keeping my son away from him and using him as a "weapon" against him. The whole reason I had to move was because he kicked my son and I out of our home we all shared together. What was I suppose to do? He threw parties for 2 weeks and "just wanted a break" then wanted us to move back in! I lived with my grandmother for a couple months before moving to Washington but she couldn't have us living with her for long because of family issues & money. I contributed what I could when living with her, but I also had to solely care for my son. So money was tight. I tried finding a job, but kept getting turned down because I was "over qualified" with my culinary degree in Idaho falls... Also, didn't have anyone who could babysit him while I was at work and by the time I payed for daycare I would have hardly any money left to buy my son's things and pay rent and other bills. He was welcome to visit anytime, yet the only time he ever saw him was when I drove my son over to his house. He did visit my grandmother's a few times, but stayed for about an hour and sat on his phone the entire time. He seemed only to care about getting me to move back into the house, but after all he had done I couldn't just forgive him and move back in that easily. He physically and emotionally abused me and it got worse when I got pregnant. He pushed me several times in my pregnancy and I started to just lock myself in my room whenever he got home drunk. I just kept telling myself, he is drunk... he doesn't mean it.. he will change when the baby gets here. I was an IDIOT. I wanted my family together so bad that I gave him a free pass to every single horrible thing he did. He messaged girls... created a dating profile... never came home earlier than midnight from the bars. Got drunk every single night and spent money on alcohol rather than his son. Now, he is trying to portray to everyone that he is this wonderful father and he misses his son so much. If he misses him why doesn't he visit him? Why does he spend money going to the bars or buying beer instead of spending it on his son? Why when I went to visit there did he go to Salt Lake to watch a dirt bike race the day I was coming into town instead of stay to see his son? Then the next day we set up a time so he could see him and he showed up half an hour late? Sorry, but none of those things scream "I miss my son" to me... It breaks my heart that my son has this man or boy really, as his father and that usually this happens when the mother and father didn't really know eachother.. but I knew him for nearly 5 years. He can't support his son, visit his son, but he is his whole world? Hmm... I use my son as a "weapon" against him? Hardly. He doesn't support him whatsoever, yet I said he can come up and visit whenever he wants. When I visit there, he can see him. I am not keeping him from him. Yet, he tells me off an on that he wants to get back together.. When I tell him no, he tells me "Well, guess I'm gonna have to take you to court then and get custody of him." He uses custody as leverage against me because he knows how much I love my son. Seems he is the one "using our son as a weapon" to me. I am tired of people back home thinking I am this bitch who keeps my son away from his father when that is hardly the case. It is much more complicated than that and it is just so frustrating that I support my son, take care of my son, and would do anything for him, yet the boy who only pretends to care gets all the sympathy. 

Re: I shouldn't care what people think but...

  • guys will do and say anything to be the victim and show other ppl they are 'the good person' 

    Time will show everyone the truth and eventually everyone will know he's a lying jackass so try not to worry about things and just keep doing good for yourself and the child :) 
    [Deleted User]acsanchez9609
  • "I just kept telling myself, he is drunk... he doesn't mean it.. he will change when the baby gets here. I was an IDIOT. I wanted my family together so bad that I gave him a free pass to every single horrible thing he did. He messaged girls... created a dating profile... never came home earlier than midnight from the bars. Got drunk every single night and spent money on alcohol rather than his son. Now, he is trying to portray to everyone that he is this wonderful father and he misses his son so much. If he misses him why doesn't he visit him? Why does he spend money going to the bars or buying beer instead of spending it on his son? " 

    that all sounds WAY TOO FAMILIAR! I think our children might have the same father .. lol .. :) my son's father does the same thing by playing victim and trying to make me look like the bad guy, er .. woman, lol .. and it is VERY HARD not to care about what he thinks when you were willing and expecting to be a family with the guy, isn't it? I don't know .. I try not to care about my son's father's opinions of me .. and all I can say is, try your hardest! try your hardest to just let it go .. otherwise, you're going to be letting your sanity go! haha .. stay positive :) you sound like a good person .. just keep putting your son and yourself first! no need to please the father anymore, you aren't together .. my sister sent me a JPEG once that said something along the lines of "play daddy of the year on Facebook, but don't forget .. some of us know you in real life!"
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  • my sister sent me a JPEG once that said something along the lines of "play daddy of the year on Facebook, but don't forget .. some of us know you in real life!"
    I think I need to see this picture.  Because my ex sounds the same! HAHA
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