Today at 7:54pm will mark a week since we said goodbye to our sweet baby girl Olivia. I can not believe that time has gone by already, it seems just like yesterday that I could feel her inside me then the next she was gone. I was so excited to have my baby shower in a few weeks as well as getting prepared for her arrival January 12th. My baby girl knows that I have cried and screamed for her in these last few days, but I can say today for the first time I smiled when I thought of her and her brother. I do not know if it was because the sun was shining outside and it made me think that the warm feeling I get when the sun touches my face is that of my babies rubbing their hands against me and saying mommy we are okay. Its okay for you to start your healing process and know that we love you so much and that we will always be here for you. I just hate that my babies had to sacrifice their lives so that answers can be made as to why I had to loose them. I do know that I will see them again one day and I will also have a healthy baby to hold in my arms and tell about about their angel sister and brother.
I miss my Olivia and EJ so much but I do know that with time my tears will subside and that when I think of them it can be with nothing but joy to have experienced them both even if it was only for moments. I will always carry my babies in my heart and in my spirit.
I do hope all of you ladies, that as we go every day into the healing process that we remember to hug ourselves and know that we are loved by some of the greatest angles ever!!!!
Hugs everyone and thank you for being here for me I am truly grateful....
Thank you for writing this! Sunday will be 2 weeks since we lost Jesse, and yesterday was the first time I didn't feel overwhelmed with my grief all day long.
Your words brought a tear to my eye in a healing way.
TTC since 2008 Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion. 4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary. 6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN, 1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP. Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection. 2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
Thank you for writing this! Sunday will be 2 weeks since we lost Jesse, and yesterday was the first time I didn't feel overwhelmed with my grief all day long.
Your words brought a tear to my eye in a healing way.
Thank you so much! I am to sorry for your loss of Jesse and I can say that we will truly have our good days and bad. Continue to take care of yourself Hun. Hugs to you
Re: Its been a week.....
Your words brought a tear to my eye in a healing way.
TTC since 2008
Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!
Thank you so much! I am to sorry for your loss of Jesse and I can say that we will truly have our good days and bad. Continue to take care of yourself Hun. Hugs to you
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**