Hi! I've been lurking for some time and I ask questions here and there and post responses but I've never formally introduced myself.
I'm Bree Anne, 39, married 4 years this coming Feb with a beautiful 3 year old girl. My hubs is 38 with superman sperm (that's what the RE said after the SA). So it's me, not him. I feel so responsible. We have been trying for 18 months to conceive our 2nd child and it has been very challenging. Like many of you, I never thought I would be going down the IVF route especially after my first DD was conceived so easily. She's our honeymoon baby and I'm so immensely grateful for her everyday. So many don't even get one baby. I want her to have a sibling so bad. We are extremely fortunate that my husband's insurance will cover a couple rounds of IVF and so here we go.
Anyway, I've tried Clomid 4 times and tried Bravelle and had a failed IUI. My HSG test was so painful and traumatic however, they found I have a blocked left tube which happens to be on the side that I have my best producing ovary - Oy Vey the odds. In addition, my AMH is <.16 and my TSH is .909 (I don't know what that even means but I guess it's in range?). Lastly, I'm quite heavy and although my RE doesn't think this is an excessive contributing factor, it does limit me to who would take me for IVF. Most here have BMI limits for safety reasons as they do their IVFs in their clinics. My last RE found another RE who has his clinic in a hospital and so we have just started seeing a new RE. The hoops for insurances and doctors alone make me riddled with anxiety.
We saw him on day 12 of my cycle earlier this month and since I had no follies (I seem to only ovulate when I'm medicated) he immediately did BW and a sono/hyst and started me on Provera to ensure my period comes timely and we don't have to wait for it. With my age and AMH we really don't have any time to waste (but who does?). He agreed to be as aggressive as possible. He's ordered my meds and all the injectables and we are waiting on the insurance to complete the pre-authorizations. He told me once my period starts to call him and if it starts by Nov 1st they can put me in the next batch (which I don't understand batch - I've got a call into the nurse for more clarification).
So here I am, confused as ever, and waiting on my period. I've read a lot how many women feel so alone, even having a husband as support. I truly feel like I'm in a stadium full of people and I'm completely naked and crying my eyes out sprawled out on the floor and no one has any idea nor do they even notice. I'm tired of hearing "let go and let God" and "if it's meant to be, it will happen" or "at least you have one". This is really hard and keeping hope is difficult.
Thanks for listening.
Don't hump it, Love it!
Happily married since Feb 2010, Sweet DD born Oct 2010, 39 years old, blocked tube, low . 09 AMH and high 21 FSH
It's not him, it's me!
September 2013 failed IUI - left blocked tube
November 2013 IVF - premature ovulation converted to IUI
December 2013 "We were <are> on a break!!!" ~ Friends homage
November 2013 protocol: Menopur, Gonal-f RFF Pen 900, Ganirelix 250mcg, baby Asprin, Gonal-f RFF Pen 300, Z Pak, Novarel, Progestrone in Sesame Oil