How often do you have sex?

Spapeggy

How often on average would you say you have sex in a month?

Spapeggy

Well I posted too fast damn.

Spapeggy

Dang girl! I do 3 a week, bjs also. Ever since ds I have a higher drive. I also hate saying no. I can but I don't like too.

thekatie

It totally varies month to month. October, once a week. July, 26 or so times. September, about 2-3 times a week.

PinkyFloyd73

 I voted 10-12 but that's because we've been TTC. Otherwise it'd be in the 7-10 range.

BluepointToasted

5 times a week on average. I'm pretty proud of where we are at after 14 years together

Spapeggy

MabelShesTheBomb said:

I voted based on what I want bc I'm too fucking depressed with my current situation to throw my vote that way.

[Deleted User]

Guess I suck because we're averaging about 3-4 times a month.

[Deleted User]

That's the 3 of us who chose the 'sex is okay' option. God forbid anyone have anything going in mentally or physically that make it hard to get in the mood.

@lexilupin

[Deleted User]

Thanks Hun. Just a rough couple of days so this poll touched a nerve for some reason. @justAphase

thekatie

BettyandCo said:

That's the 3 of us who chose the 'sex is okay' option. God forbid anyone have anything going in mentally or physically that make it hard to get in the mood.

I put 7-10 only because some months it's super frequent. This month? Once a week and that's only because I feel bad saying no each and every morning & night (and day when he's home during the day). Sometimes I love sex. Sometimes I want absolutely no physical contact with a single other living soul. It's been a shit month in a lot of ways, and sex is the last thing on my mind right now.

[Deleted User]

Muah

@mabelshesthebomb

Spapeggy

BettyandCo said:

Thanks Hun. Just a rough couple of days so this poll touched a nerve for some reason. @justAphase

I'm sorry:(

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

PinkyFloyd73

I actually have a really low sex drive and am pretty "meh" about sex. For me 3-4 times a month (or less) would be just fine in terms of how much I actually really want it. TTC definitely kicks it up several notches, and the last year or so I have been making an effort to put out more because I've noticed the change it's made in our relationship. We argue less, and there's a lot more butt slapping and getting humped when bending over and knowing looks. My husband is less stressed, and in general we feel closer from the intimacy. 

Not saying that would work for everyone or everyone should do it or anything like that, but that's why I get it on frequently despite that fact that I could really go without sex for weeks and be fine with it.

PinkyFloyd73

I definitely feel you ladies saying you're not in the mood lately, or have lots of other things going on that prevent you from wanting sex. Sometimes there is just too much going on in your head and/or your heart and the last thing you're worried about is getting ass.

Monkeybabe

I have pretty much no libido, so, unless he initiates, it doesn't happen. He rarely initiates, because he's playing video games, so we rarely have sex.

LuckyDad

1-3x a month

PinkyFloyd73

@LuckyDad  I meant to ask before, did your DS let you have the sects the other night, or did he ruin your chance?

Spapeggy

I also am
Not in the mood often. I just don't like telling dh no so I'll have many quickies or bjs. He was almost killed in Iraq and I just never wanted him to need for it. ESP since he was gone 15 months so that's a long time no sex. I could go 4-5 month but I try for 3 a week also just like previous poster our relationship is great when we both get some;) but we bicker more when were both sexually frustrated.

Spapeggy

I also wanted to put more options on this poll but hit post by accident so I would have had more options

LuckyDad

PinkyFloyd73 said:

@LuckyDad  I meant to ask before, did your DS let you have the sects the other night, or did he ruin your chance?

He ruined my chances that night, but we did it once since then.

Maebb

I should be "4-7 I love sex" because it doesn't happen often enough, but it's good when it happens, and I would want it to be a lot more. I think in the course of our 10-year relationship, I have turned down sex once.

BluepointToasted

It definitely effects both of our moods if we don't. I really do prioritize it because I know it makes me feel so much better overall. And I find that the more I have it, the more I want it, and vice versa.

I also have some major issues about sex related to previous problems in our marriage that I have not gotten over, so don't be too jealous.  I am working on them, but I have way too many emotions tied to frequency, etc.

RondackHiker

The wording and choices were kind of weird.

Usually 5+ times a week. With HG and DH's hours we've really dropped off. More like once a week. I'm trying to fix that.

LoveActually4

I'm too embarrassed to answer this poll.

monkeybutt61612

What about 0 times for us pregnant people?

MrsT0514

LuckyDad said:

1-3x a month

This is us lately too. Since having DS, life has been hectic as hell, we've had a slew of communication issues we've been working on (and have definitely seen improvement with!), and my drive has been nowhere near what it used to be . Plus, DH has finally gotten on an antidepressant for his ongoing depression issues which I'm sure affects his drive as well.

All in all, I'd say our relationship is good....sex life needs some TLC. But like @bettyandco and @mbenit4 said, sometimes life gets in the way. Aint no shame in that!

kat8805

After 7+ years of being with a man who has the sex drive of a rock... I've found when I leave him alone, and never initiate, he gets around to it eventually. The sex is usually more enjoyable, and is definitely better than the pity sex we used to always have when I would initiate. I've grown to also say no from time to time, it seems to drive him nuts. I had a blast in my small window of sexual activity in my teens before committing to this relationship, so I'll live... For a while :P

MrsT0514

IamInigoMontoya said:

This poll is depressing. I've had a really low sex drive for awhile now so we're lucky if we do it 1-3x a month - obviously more now that we're TTC. I try not to stress because otherwise our relationship is great and we are affectionate in other ways. But polls like this always make me feel like something is wrong with me.

@iaminigomontoya I hear ya... my sex drive has sucked. I wish I could just get my shit together and get it up for DH...but he's always had a low drive too. We were talking the other day about this and he said "don't worry, we'll get our groove back". I said to him "I know we will...I mean, we sorta have to if we plan to have another kiddo".

I'd like to hopefully get pregnant with #2 by next fall..so hopefullyrwe can get it together before then!

phunkyphish

We're only just now getting back into the swing of things. It's hard to average, seems like mother nature is a bitch and wants to get me pregnant again, I seem to want it every day of ovulation week, and then it tapers off after that. It's really hard to find the right timing that we're both home, baby is occupied, and in the mood. 

shadypines

It varies...

BeckyP005

PinkyFloyd73 said:

I actually have a really low sex drive and am pretty "meh" about sex. For me 3-4 times a month (or less) would be just fine in terms of how much I actually really want it. TTC definitely kicks it up several notches, and the last year or so I have been making an effort to put out more because I've noticed the change it's made in our relationship. We argue less, and there's a lot more butt slapping and getting humped when bending over and knowing looks. My husband is less stressed, and in general we feel closer from the intimacy. 

Not saying that would work for everyone or everyone should do it or anything like that, but that's why I get it on frequently despite that fact that I could really go without sex for weeks and be fine with it.

MH is like this. Its been months. I'm ok with it. Its embarrassing to say this

bullybutt

I've had sex 4x this month and I'm pretty sure I instigated at least 3 of them. SO is usually FBing when DS is asleep.  He never, NEVER instigates.  I was a sex hor before him and had serious issues when he didn't want it as much as I did and caused a lot of insecurities for me.  Now that I barely like him anymore, I'm like meh. We have a lousy, intimateless sex life.

jenmom2girls

We both want it, but it has been so hard finding the time with both kids with us ALL THE TIME!!!! When it does happen it's great, but it has happened maybe 10 times since DD2.

MrsT0514

This thread makes me kind of afraid for when we do have baby #2. We always agreed on having at least 2 kids, and I know life is hectic with any number of kids....but holy shit. Its hard enough to find the time and energy to have sex only having one kid right now...how the hell are we gonna find the time/energy after having 2???

[Deleted User]

justAphase said:

I have a lot more sex now that I'm singleish

QFT

MrsT0514

@brewcitygal That's encouraging! Awesome that you and YH can keep up a good sex life that you're both happy with.

I think that's where I've been so hung up. Most of my sexually active years, I've had a pretty high sex drive. I got together with DH, we had awesome sex all the time...then came marriage and DS and it seems like life has gotten so busy now that we're both just too damn tired to get around to it anymore. So i guess it feels a little out of sorts, for lack of a better term. Other than that, we have a pretty damn good relationship..so I keep having to remind myself that our sex life doesnt define our whole marriage.

angelashly

3 times a month usually. I hate it. I want more and it used to be a lot more, but now not so much. Not sure what the problem is really.

amberdanielle68845

Not near enough is my vote.  My SO is on anti-anxiety meds and makes it near impossible for him to climax and completely kills his sex drive.  Before those meds it was 2-3x a week and now it takes alot of "work" to get it to happen which equeals out to MAYBE once a month.  We want to switch his meds but getting him off one and onto another didn't go well the last time we tried it.  Boooooooo