Worst mommy moment.

Seneca0325

I've made my fair share of parenting mistakes, but my worst was having my almost 6 month old ride in a ff carseat when my in laws came to pick us up from the airport (I was under the impression they were bringing an age appropriate car seat for us to use...wrong). It was a 2 hour trip from the airport to their home, which included interstate traffic. This still gives me terrible terrible guilt to this day thinking about the what ifs! I was unaware of the whole internal decapitation thing at the time, but am well aware now, so don't flame me!!  

Anyway, has anyone else made this mistake or made a HUGE mommy faux pas that's almost too embarrassing to admit?!

Seneca0325

I am not sure what you mean

Seneca0325

Thanks for the response Brandi Bee.....it def helps knowing I am not the only one! For me it was a one time mistake, but I still feel bad about it....I feel like I almost killed my daughter given how dangerous it is!

meaglamillion

Yeah, no.

I'm wondering why you didn't bring your car seat with you on the plane. And I'm wondering why you couldn't turn the seat before strapping your kid. Strap on your flame suit, I think you should read a beginners parenting book to learn a couple things like car seat safety'n'stuff.

Seneca0325

@ meaglamillion: 

I did not post this to get flamed or to be judged as we all make mistakes. I just find it interesting to to see what parent's consider to be their biggest mistakes. This happens to be mine and I was curious to see if anyone could relate. 

As far as the snarky comment about reading a beginner's parenting book, I really don't appreciate it. I am a very educated individual who is not perfect. We happened to be in a position where this was the only car seat available and no we did not have the option of turning it rear facing. We left our car seat at home as my in laws stated they had a car seat that we could use as they have other grandchildren that live near by so we didn't have to lug it around the airport. Big mistake on my part, lesson learned -- I do not leave home without my car seat now. 

PinkyFloyd73

meaglamillion

Salth20grl said:

@ meaglamillion: 

I did not post this to get flamed or to be judged as we all make mistakes. I just find it interesting to to see what parent's consider to be their biggest mistakes. This happens to be mine and I was curious to see if anyone could relate. 

As far as the snarky comment about reading a beginner's parenting book, I really don't appreciate it. I am a very educated individual who is not perfect. We happened to be in a position where this was the only car seat available and no we did not have the option of turning it rear facing. We left our car seat at home as my in laws stated they had a car seat that we could use as they have other grandchildren that live near by so we didn't have to lug it around the airport. Big mistake on my part, lesson learned -- I do not leave home without my car seat now.

I just feel that car seat safety is kind of a big deal. No snark intended by my comment, just honesty. I feel like maybe the tone of my post might have indicated how important it is to have kiddos properly restrained in a car seat, and in the proper position. We've all made mistakes, but I think you should honestly look into car seat requirements and the suggested usage of rf for 2+ years.

Seneca0325

You are an idiot. Car seat safety is obviously a huge deal to me too, hence why I consider this to be my biggest "mommy mistake" and still feel guilty as Hell for being in the situation in the first place. If I didn't know the facts, I probably wouldn't care as much as I do. Get off your high horse and stop pretending to be a perfect parent because you aren't- no one is.

meaglamillion

Alrighty then.

WasNotWas

I feel like this should have been more of a *vent* I can't believe my ILs endangered my child and less of a "let's share supportive stories so I don't feel as bad for putting my baby at fatal risk"

BluepointToasted

So...she is saying she knows this was wrong, is embarrassed by it, considers it a HUGE mistake, and her worst parenting moment ever. Yet, she is still being treated like she is a proponent of FF infants. I'm all for snark where snark is due...

CurlyQ284

This isn't going the way you thought it would, is it @Salth20grl?

theseaword

BluepointToasted said:

So...she is saying she knows this was wrong, is embarrassed by it, considers it a HUGE mistake, and her worst parenting moment ever. Yet, she is still being treated like she is a proponent of FF infants. I'm all for snark where snark is due...

This. Everyone is being really weird.

theseaword

And to answer your question, OP, my worst moment was locking my keys in the car with DS.

Maebb

Obviously OP realizes that putting her infant in a FF car seat at 6 months was a HUGE parenting fail, and she already feels super guilty about it. I'm sure she takes car seat safety really seriously and won't make the same mistake again.

My biggest fail is letting DS fall off the bed. I will be infinitely more careful with the next baby and never assume that they're too young to roll / crawl / inchworm.

RondackHiker

It's too early for this.

CurlyQ284

I guess my biggest parenting mistake is with SD1. Shes a picky eater and I thought she was just being fussy and once we put our foot down she would be fine. Her mom let's her eat crap at her house buti was determined to get her on a balanced diet. It was stupid. It would work every year towards the end of summer then she would go home and reset every year. The food issue caused a lot of tension and resentment between the two of us. This summer she ate what she wanted at dinner and pretty much ate Luna bars for breakfast and Nutella sandwiches for lunch. We got along SO WELL this summer and I actually liked spending time with her. It wasn't worth it.

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Nechie122

Believe it or not, this actually happened to me. My mom said she would borrow a car seat from my sister and it was a super cheap one that only faced forward. Well, first I tried everything to install it RF-ing, because it looked like a regular convertible, but then I read the side and it said "for forward-facing 20-40 lbs." or something like that. But DD was already 2 at the time so even though I'm doing ERF, I don't consider that my worst parenting moment.

... But after the response to the OP, I'm not sharing mine.

NotSharknado

She didn't come off trollish to me. Well at least not in her OP.

Seneca0325

Wow, I am not a troller and I honestly came on here because I felt that bad about this carseat mistake that I made 6 mos ago. I honestly wanted support and to be assured that I was not the only first time parent who has a made a mistake. Instead, I was viciously attacked and called ingnorant for something that I would never do normally, but just happened to be in a bad situation and I admitted I was wrong! So, thanks for the support from those who read between the lines and understood my original angle and to the rest-- keep it classy, I'm over and out.

CinemaGoddess

CinemaGoddess

Salth20grl said:

Wow, I am not a troller and I honestly came on here because I felt that bad about this carseat mistake that I made 6 mos ago. I honestly wanted support and to be assured that I was not the only first time parent who has a made a mistake. Instead, I was viciously attacked and called ingnorant for something that I would never do normally, but just happened to be in a bad situation and I admitted I was wrong! So, thanks for the support from those who read between the lines and understood my original angle and to the rest-- keep it classy, I'm over and out.

Did you even lurk here before posting?  

Also, you claimed you didn't know what was wrong with a 6mo being FF.  You said that right in your OP.  So there was ignorance involved.  

Seneca0325

I never claimed to NOT know that FF was wrong for under a year. If you read the post in it's entirety you would realize that I did know that, but was in a situation where I only had the option of a forward facing seat, which is why I feel terrible. It seems as though no matter how many times I explain that, some just aren't going to get it.

CinemaGoddess

fredalina said: Salth20grl said: Wow, I am not a troller and I honestly came on here because I felt that bad about this carseat mistake that I made 6 mos ago. I honestly wanted support and to be assured that I was not the only first time parent who has a made a mistake. Instead, I was viciously attacked and called ingnorant for something that I would never do normally, but just happened to be in a bad situation and I admitted I was wrong! So, thanks for the support from those who read between the lines and understood my original angle and to the rest-- keep it classy, I'm over and out. Did you even lurk here before posting?  
Also, you claimed you didn't know what was wrong with a 6mo being FF.  You said that right in your OP.  So there was ignorance involved.   She said she didn't know about internal decapitation, not that she didn't know FF a 6 month old was wrong. I'm gonna bet most moms not on TB have never heard the phrase "internal decapitation". Well, this is just dumb, then.  If she did know it was wrong but didn't know why it was wrong, she's still ignorant.  Just less so.  

LaylaPartDeux

Does anyone else see ScoutKate's avatar as CG's???

CinemaGoddess

Sterling13 said:

I have no idea why rear facing is safer, I just know it is. I don't have the time or inclination to figure out the why and truly understand it, I just know I should do it as long as possible. I'll spend my time researching car seats, but not learning about crash studies and decapitation. Is that ignorance?

Isn't it better to know the reason why you're doing something instead of just taking the information at face value?  

BluepointToasted

I love the saying "dollars to donuts".  Thats my takeaway from all this

CinemaGoddess

Wait.  

Which carseats exactly that would fit a 6 month old cannot be RF?  

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Maebb

I agree with @Salth20grl that some people were unnecessarily mean and rude. She made a huge mistake, she regrets it, and she realizes that she's lucky her DD did not get hurt. I don't get the benefit of flaming her. What good does it do? She already feels like shit, so why rub it in her face?

That being said, it was probably not her best move to call someone else an idiot.

@Salth20grl, there are certain topics here that will make people jump all over you. Child safety, racism, mistreating people with disabilities, being a jerk to poor people, babies, or the elderly, etc. I get your intent to admit that you made a parenting mistake and then feel a little better when you've heard that other people make mistakes (and I guarantee you that people have made much bigger mistakes than you). However, it's kind of pushing a hot button and opening yourself up to flaming, even if you're admitting that you did something wrong.

CinemaGoddess

pobrecita said:

CinemaGoddess said:

Wait.  

Which carseats exactly that would fit a 6 month old cannot be RF?  

I'm thinking you didn't read the thread now.

I did. 

I never saw an answer.  I saw something about the only one available to her, but I didn't see what kind of carseat it was. 

CinemaGoddess

Maebb said:

I agree with @Salth20grl that some people were unnecessarily mean and rude. She made a huge mistake, she regrets it, and she realizes that she's lucky her DD did not get hurt. I don't get the benefit of flaming her. What good does it do? She already feels like shit, so why rub it in her face? That being said, it was probably not her best move to call someone else an idiot. @Salth20grl, there are certain topics here that will make people jump all over you. Child safety, racism, mistreating people with disabilities, being a jerk to poor people, babies, or the elderly, etc. I get your intent to admit that you made a parenting mistake and then feel a little better when you've heard that other people make mistakes (and I guarantee you that people have made much bigger mistakes than you). However, it's kind of pushing a hot button and opening yourself up to flaming, even if you're admitting that you did something wrong.

This was not "unnecessarily mean and rude" by parenting standards.  This was "vaguely annoyed".

thekatie

CinemaGoddess said:

Wait.  

Which carseats exactly that would fit a 6 month old cannot be RF?  

She said it was forward facing something like 20-40lb. Now, I know lots of kids who were around or at 20lb by 6 months, and many who were nowhere near. But regardless of weight minimums and limits you can still strap kids into seats. Any combo seat - Evenflo Maestro, Graco Nautilus, those kind of seats - a 6 month old will FIT in and can be harnessed, but still can't be installed rear facing. Technically, my 2.5 year old fits beautifully in a Graco Connext (backless booster) with a perfect belt fit - but yeah, I'm not going to put him in it. He's still rear facing in a many convertibles. But he fits.

CinemaGoddess

Huh.  

CinemaGoddess

thekatie said:

Wait.  

Which carseats exactly that would fit a 6 month old cannot be RF?  

She said it was forward facing something like 20-40lb. Now, I know lots of kids who were around or at 20lb by 6 months, and many who were nowhere near. But regardless of weight minimums and limits you can still strap kids into seats. Any combo seat - Evenflo Maestro, Graco Nautilus, those kind of seats - a 6 month old will FIT in and can be harnessed, but still can't be installed rear facing. Technically, my 2.5 year old fits beautifully in a Graco Connext (backless booster) with a perfect belt fit - but yeah, I'm not going to put him in it. He's still rear facing in a many convertibles. But he fits.

Wait.  Where did the OP say this?  I see that Nechie said this, but the OP never gave specifics.  Just that she "couldn't".  

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thekatie

@cinemagoddess You're right. I read most of this last night, and the rest before coffee, had that bit mixed up.

But it still stands that if OP's ride showed up with a combo seat, it couldn't be installed rear facing, and a 6 month old would fit into it.

edited because I can't type lately

CinemaGoddess

thekatie said:

@cinemagoddess You're right. I read most of this last night, and the rest before coffee, had that bit mixed up. But it still stands that if OP's ride showed up with a combo seat, it couldn't be installed rear facing, and a 6 month old would fit into it. edited because I can't type lately

Yeah, but she didn't say what kind of seat it was. 

This is important information.  

CinemaGoddess

fredalina said:

This goes back to my UO from forever-ago.

I side-eye the shit out of people that just fly by the seat of their pants in parenting safety matters.  Read a goddamn book.

I have an innate need to ask "why" in all situations.  I NEED to know why something is the norm.  Like... why is RF safer than FF?  I seriously hope that I can instill in my child a need to get to the source of the facts and figure out why, instead of just going with the flow.

If you question EVERYTHING, you don't have time to do anything but research. I'm an ERF fool. My kid is almost 4.5 and still RF and I am hoping she'll be 5 in one of our seats. But I didn't start REALLY researching the why until she was closer to one and ready for a convertible. RF was the only option to that point.

Googling "why is RF better" takes exactly 10 seconds.  It's pretty definitive.  It's not like researching vaccinations or circumcision where there's all sorts of opinions out there.

All evidence points to RF being better for the safety of the child.  Period.  This is seriously one of the easiest parenting related things to research.  

So, sorry.  She gets no pass about this.  

thekatie

LoisLayn23 said:

20 pounds at 6 months is  ~97th%ile.  so not "lots".  

3%

Or 90th percentile, depending on gender and which charts you use. But either way, I was speaking of personal experience, not national statistics. I personally know more bigger babies than small, so that's "lots" of the babies I know. Which is why I said "I know lots of kids" not "most kids are"