Hello Ladies!! This is one place no one wants to say they have been before. I lost my first baby, a boy we named EJ November 21, 2012. It was the hardest thing I thought I would ever have to endure. He was born at 20 weeks but he was only measuring 17 weeks and with testing he came back positive for spina bifida. I spotted most of my pregnancy with him. After loosing him we waited a few cycles before trying again this past February. We were lucky to get pregnant in April of this year and we were so excited. My pregnancy with my daughter Olivia was awesome!! I didn't not have any bleeding and all of her test came back great, as she was growing properly measuring about two weeks ahead. We just knew that she was going to be our rainbow baby and we were so excited. My baby shower was going to be November 9th which would've helped us get thru the one year anniversary of loosing our first baby.
I guess God had other plans for us because on October 17th everything changed. Olivia was always very active and I could time her movements like clock work. However, that day I did not feel her move at all like I normally did. So I used my fetal Doppler which I received as a gift for my birthday because as we all know after loosing a child hearing that heartbeat in between appointments is a beautiful thing. When I put the Doppler on me, I did not hear a thing. Normally when I would use it I would hear the blood moving and as soon as I would put it on my belly she would kick at it and move away, she was not a fan . I laid there and cried and prayed that I was not about to have to give birth to my daughter at 27 weeks due her leaving us. I contacted my doctor and he told me to go to L&D and have them out me on the fetal monitor. When the nurse did she heard the same thing I heard at home, SILENCE!! She then went to get the ultrasound machine and as soon as my sweet baby came on the screen I knew she was gone.
October 18th at 7:54pm I gave birth to a 2 1/2 lbs 13.2 inches baby girl with a head full of hair. I cried but smiled at the same time because she looked so peaceful and beautiful. We were able to take pictures with her as the hospital also dressed her in a beautiful knit dress and took pictures for us as well as giving us a memorial box. I never thought in a million years that I would suffer two losses in less than a year, especially when I only had less than 90 days left if this pregnancy. The doctors believed that I suffered a placental abruption as well as their was a small clot in the cord. They think i have a blood clotting disorder which they won't know for sure until my blood loss panel which will be done in 6 weeks. I can say that this time is a lot harder due to 3 days after having her my milk started to come in as well as I was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia. It's like I'm trying to heal mentally but it's hard to do with all the physical reminders. We will try again for the doctors will put me on a regimen and I will be monitored by my regular OB and high risk one.
I hope that all of you get past these dark days and soon see the sun again. It hurts so much that our babies had to depart us but we all know that we forever have angles watching over us. I hope that we all get our answers and get our blessings of beautiful happy babies soon.
Hugs to you all!!!!!