Age for sleepover? — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Age for sleepover?

DD1 was just invited to a sleepover and I am hesitating.  The situation is, it's at Ks house.  K is bffs with my cousins DD, C.  My DD1 wants to be bffs with C.  C treats K and DD pretty much equally but DD is more reserved and seems to hang back from the other 2 (we had a playdate with the 3 of them).  C was invited also and is definitely going.  DD1 has never been to a sleepover before (except grandmas house). Ks mom has told me I can call every 15 minutes to talk to DD (which I would not do) and the second DD says she wants to come home, she will bring her home.  Am I being overprotective or not?  I met the mom and DH talked to moms boyfriend at the gym years ago. 
Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
                         Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: Age for sleepover?

  • My DD has only done sleepovers with her cousin who's a couple of years older.  Most of the moms in my circle feel like they're still too young for friend sleepovers.
  • Loading the player...
  • How old is your DD? There is no way I would consider a sleepover when I just talked to the Mom and did not know her very well. And who will be with the other kids if DD wants to come home? Why would she bring her home and not you pick her up? If it were me I would let her stay late and pick her up before the others go to sleep.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • Loading the player...
  • DD is 5.5.  I see the mom about twice a week when we pick up our kids, I talked to her when we both chaperoned a field trip and she had us over for a playdate (so about 2.5 hours).  And I'm assuming she offered to bring her home because her boyfriend could stay with the other kids whereas I would have to wake DD2 up because DH works nights. 
    I was leaning towards letting her stay for a few hours and then come home but I know that will result in an epic meltdown when she has to leave and her cousin gets to stay the night.  I think I am going to wait to see if the girls say anything to her today at school (they are all in the same class) and go from there. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers 
                             Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Are you comfortable leaving this woman in charge of your child? And are you ok with the boyfriend being alone with your child because she has already stated she would leave him alone with the cousin. I know I am paranoid but at 5.5 I would not be ready but that is me. The only sleepovers I had before 34th grade were at my BFFs house and my Mom was close friends with her parents and we knew each other literally from tre day I came home as a baby. That was normal when I was a kid and I don't know why parents are pushing it so early.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • I would not be comfortable having my children stay the night at someone's home who is practically a stranger.  Then throw in the whole "boyfriend" staying there at the same time.  No way. 

  • my son had his first sleep over at 6 yrs old. But we were moving and he really wanted his best friend since he was 4 months over! And he has stayed at this friends house.

    My 4 and 5 yr old had their first sleep over recently , but it was more of a babysitting situation but they travel and sleep really well ; ) with relatively new friends, we have known them since this summer. And I have become very close with the mom.

    My oldest had another sleep over too (he is 7 now, almost 8), with a newer friend. I know the parents really well.

    I am pretty relaxed, but not sure if I would be comfortable with a sleep over unless I know the parents really well.

    She might not be just fine with an After hours play date ; ) and she can just leave late but at a reasonable time.
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • My kids were wildly different when it came to first sleepover age.  I think you have to know your kid and know the situation.

    In the situation you describe, I would ask the host parent if it's okay if she wants to just do a "late-over" instead of a sleepover.  Maybe pack pjs and sleeping bag, and if she's okay at bedtime, she can stay.  Otherwise, pick her up at bedtime.

    My DD did her first sleepover at around 8.  Although she's pretty independent and never had trouble with the idea of being away from home, she didn't really enjoy sleeping over at a friend's until middle school.  She tends to wake up early in the morning and have trouble falling back to sleep.  Now that she's a teenager, she has NO problem sleeping late, and it's made sleepovers less stressful for her!

    My DS did his first sleepover at age 6.  He has had the same best friend since age 4, and by age 6 they had already done many playdates and late-overs at each others' houses.  So, doing a sleepover didn't seem like a big deal to him even though he was less independent than DD had been at that age.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • At the ages of your kids, I would not do it.  My girls are 5 1/2 and 7 and have not done sleepovers yet.  We are doing a Girl Scout sleepover event this winter and I will be one of the parents at the event because my younger DD is also going.  If it was just my older DD, I would not be staying.  I totally trust the adults she will be with.  She will be going to sleepover camp for a week this summer when she is 8.  You need to trust you gut feeling and go with it.  Age will depend on the child.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards