Don't want a 3rd but can't stop thinking about a 3rd!

mooke

So how many of you stopped after 2 kids but still in some ways really long for a 3rd but aren't going to go there?   I've miscarried 4 times and have 2 healthy kiddos, a boy and a girl.  I'm high risk.  I have MTHFR so I have to take the blood thinner shots and baby aspirin when pregnant.  Also with both kids I felt horrible (sick) for about the first 20 weeks. And to top that, I would have to have a second c-section which I did not like at all!   I work full time and I'm so tired in the evenings now the way it is trying to keep up with a 2 year old and a 3.5 yr old.   10-15 years from now I would love to have a bigger family with 3 kids so they each have more than one sibling.  I just don't know if I can withstand the pregnancy and baby/toddler years to get there.  I'm most frightened by all the risks involved with my pregnancy and having a healthy kid.  I want to feel complete with 2 but I can't help to get that longing every time I see a friend with a new baby or find out someone is pregnant with #3.  I almost feel "jealous"!   I feel like 2 is such the norm but 3 would be such a big accomplishment!  A few months ago, I got pregnant by accident with #3 and I was so scared out of my mind.  I cried every single day.  I ended up miscarrying and was so relieved.  Now I'm right back to the point of "what would it be like with another" because I love the 2 I have so much.  I feel like darned if I do and darned if I don't!!  I don't know if these feelings are ever going to go away!

mooke

I feel the same way!  I've always thought I wanted at least 3 and maybe 4 until I had 3 miscarriages before I finally had my first kid.  And I feel like my hands are pretty full also with my two young ones.   And I hear people say when they start school and activities it will be even busier!  I just want to 100% accept TWO in my mind and get rid of thoughts of 3!

BeeGirl2

DH and I have had this conversation at least 1,000 times. 2 kids is the "norm" and I was never questioned as to why I wanted my 2nd. But so many people I talk to about having another say "why? you already have 2?" for many many months we sat in limbo and recently just decided to go for it. We are going to try for 6 months and if it happens it is meant to be and if it doesn't happen than we are going to be happy with what we have. We do realize how lucky we are and I have heard from a few friends that the strong longing for more children does fade over time. I am sure your path will find you. Best of luck on your journey and remember you are NOT alone!!! It is hard to love 2 children so so much and realize you will not have any more little babies...