Does it get easier to not worry?

LadyMacaron

Crazytown alert! I will preface this by saying that I do realize 90% of my worries are ridiculous, but can't help it. So. I am only 5 weeks today. All our numbers look good, but our first ultrasound isn't until next wed. And I have been a mess since getting my BFP. Here is a list of crap that I am constantly worrying about:

1. I have to take cold-ish showers because they said no hot tubs and baths.

2. I have to eat little snacks all day. No flour, no sugar, nothing processed, not juice or caffeine.

3. No sex. What if an orgasm causes a miscarriage?

4. Every cramp could be a symptom to an ectopic pregnancy

5. I can't exercise, lift things, or stress, because I will have a miscarriage.

6. I will go in next week and there will be nothing there.

The list can go on, but these are the top worries. Am I just the most insane person on the planet? I am trying to stay calm and positive, but it's been a long road and I am scared. All day I feel like I should be laying in bed wrapped in bubble wrap. I know women have been having healthy pregnancies from the beginning of time, but I also don't know a single person who hasn't lost a pregnancy at some time. I have never gotten a BFP and I am so aware of how precious this gift is, I feel like somehow I am not good enough or lucky enough to be able to keep it. Have any of you felt this crazy? What did you do to relax? Will I feel better once I hear a heartbeat? 

sunflowermama42212

I cried my whole hour long drive to my first ultrasound because I was scared somehow the other shoe will drop and something will be wrong. Yes I tell myself every morning today i am pregnant and anything that happens is out of my control. It's really hard not to worry and I don't think until you take your baby home you will stop worrying and then a whole other category of worry comes into play like keeping the kid healthy and alive for at least 18 years lol

LadyMacaron

Mwhigham22 said:

I cried my whole hour long drive to my first ultrasound because I was scared somehow the other shoe will drop and something will be wrong. Yes I tell myself every morning today i am pregnant and anything that happens is out of my control. It's really hard not to worry and I don't think until you take your baby home you will stop worrying and then a whole other category of worry comes into play like keeping the kid healthy and alive for at least 18 years lol

So true! I guess this is training for what comes for the next 18+ years!

PhillyJ33

I think the first few weeks have been the most difficult so far. Not that I am relaxed now but it is getting better because I (like @Maitaibeth) realized that it is out of my control. I am still super nervous before each appointment but you will feel better after the U/S and I bet you get a little more confident as each week passes and with each appointment behind you. I thought the 2 weeks between my last beta and the first U/s was torture though so I feel for you!!!
Good luck!!!

PurplePanda2

The first few weeks are definitely the hardest in my opinion.  I wish I could say the fears go away completely, but even at 34 weeks I have different fears (what if something happens to the baby this far along? or at delivery?) 

I would say the movements that I feel now do make me feel better on a day to day basis that the baby is doing ok

Chrissy1276

I have the same fears. I still have to wait until tomorrow for my first ultrasound. It's been the hardest 3 and a half weeks since I got a BFP and not knowing if everything is ok. As sick as I have been these last few weeks with the vomiting I am still afraid of getting some sort of bad news tomorrow.

I hope your wait isn't as bad as mine has been.

MJC1116

I was a nervous wreck at the beginning, too, even with weekly ultrasounds! Your feelings are completely normal. Whenever I felt the fears were becoming irrational, I'd have to talk myself through it. It helped a lot. I just had to remind myself that my baby is pretty well protected in there. And, I know it's on your list of no's, but I take a bath when I feel overwhelmed. I don't break a sweat, so I figure that's okay.  I'd say do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Like others have said, today you are pregnant! What a great thing to celebrate. Live in this moment (something I still have to tell myself).

JennyS86

I do feel the anxiety you mentioned.  Some things on my list are: what if my blood pressure gets high, what if I have gestDM, and what if I can't breastfeed?  so yeah, lots of random anxieties, and it does help to let them out!  there are only so many things that I CAN do!
I also find myself "crossing things off my list" such as when my first beta came in, then when it doubled, I crossed chemical pregnancy off my list. Then today, with the sac in the uterus, I can cross off ectopic pregnancy!  one victory at a time!
I love the "today I am pregnant" mantra.
I also like:  "Most pregnancies end in babies" mantra as well.
Good Luck Ladies!!  take a deep breath and let the stress out!

VegasGal1978

You are not alone! With each day and week that pass you will get a little more confident. I can't promise the worry will go away (at 36 weeks I still worry) but it will be easier. Hang in there!

zazu13

I had all the same worries, although I did start warming up my showers and baths. It's getting chilly here and I figured if I was cold then the babies can't be overheating. I read that as long as your skin isn't turning red and you limit it to 10 min or so, it is fine.

 

I had a weekly ultrasound from 7-12 weeks. After each ultrasound I would feel better for a few days, then my mind would start freaking out about all the "what ifs". I think it's normal. When the nausea picked up and my belly started to grow it helped calm my fears that this was actually happening. Now in the 2nd tri I'm still a little bit nervous, espeically because we are telling people, but I think it just comes down to trusting God and trusting your little embryo(s) to do their thing. Hang in there. It does get better, but the worries wont ever really go away. We care about this too much to not worry a little.

jezebel57

This is my first every BFP also and I have been terrified ever since the 2nd line popped up.  I have said to many people, that I knew everything about being infertile, and NOTHING about being pregnant.  It was a whole new set of worrying.  The worrying changes, but doesn't really go away.  I felt better after hearing the heartbeats, better after 12 weeks, better after a normal NT scan, little better after every u/s and appt. with them still moving around.  Now at 25 weeks I'm worrying about making it to 28 weeks, then I'm sure I'll worry about it until 32 weeks, etc... I think it sets us up for being parents and worrying about these little people for the rest of our lives.  

My OB said to me today, "you think this is the scary part, wait until they are born".  Thanks Doc! I almost smacked her. Hang in there, for today everything is good and try not to worry until there is something to worry about!