How Much Time Do You/Did You Spend at the NICU?

KGS2003

I'm feeling like I don't get to spend much time with my boys. I am there for 2 hours in the mid morning and then another 2 hours in the evening. I wish I could spend more time with them but I can't. My DD needs me at home too. I feel so torn especially because I will be going back to work part time in November so I will be able to take time off when they finally get to come home.

KTZ17

It must be so hard having babies in the NICU with an older child at home. That's part of what worries me about one day having another child - the possibility of NICU time and having to split myself between home & NICU. Anyway, I spent about 6-7 hours a day in the NICU, but I was off from work the whole time and DD was my first child. 4 hours a day is great, especially considering you have to split your time. Your boys are well taken care of and you're doing as much as you can!

Kelly_12

I agree with PP, I'm already so nervous to have a second child as I would hate to have another preemie and need to go through the struggle of being home and there.
I'm like the others, first time mom and on leave from work, went back forth several times a day, basically was there every other feed. But all of the nurses said no one would ever judge me from coming less if I needed too. It's hard in you physically and emotionally to do it all, back and forth, if you're pumping, keeping a house and some sort of sanity...plus another child! You're doing fantastic mama and kudos to you for going back to work! You will enjoy the leave more when you're all home together for sure

Throw3ks

I am the same as some of the PPs. I was on leave from work and this is our first LO so I spent a lot of time in the NICU. Some days I would spend the night, meaning in wouldn't sleep for over 24 hours, that happened a few times, mainly when my LO would have a set back. I don't recommend that for anyone. Our NICU is set into pods, 6 babies in each one, no place for parents to sleep. They are actualy building a new children's hospital and the new NICU will be private rooms.

andthatmakes4

I was on leave but had a daughter that started middle school and a 2 year old that was home with me during my sons 30 days in NICU. My husband is also starting his own business so has to work since their is no leave for him. I was only able to spend 2-3 hours every day in the NICU with my son. I felt guilty about every day. It's so hard. But we don't have family around to help and my friends helped out as much as they could. I often went late at night so my husband was home and the other kids were already in bed. Do the best you can!! Your baby will know that they are loved!!

[Deleted User]

I'm still new at this and just got home from the hospital and I already feel giulty not bring there with my son every waking movement. We live about an hour away and plan on going every morning from 8 to 12:30 (DH has to work after). Once I feel better, I'm hoping I can be there longer on some days but I so wish I could be there in the mornings and at night time. In our NICU I have had the best experience after 8 pm with talking to nurses and doctors. They seem more relaxed and will talk all about LOs care even if there is no questions posed. It makes me calmer knowing that they are offering so much information without having to question them on every detail. I think no matter what situation one is in, we are all bound to feel a little guilty (yes it's irrational but we can't help it). All I want is to be able to care for my son and take him home

rkcaraway

Like PP said, you do what works for you.  There is a baby in our pod that I haven't seen a visitor in 2 weeks.  It's so sad.  I told my husband that we should take him home with us when we leave (joking of course). My routine varies depending on my babies conditions, nurses on duty, husband's schedule, and how I am feeling physically.  Some days I am there for 12 hours and others I'm only there for 4 hours.  I've missed a couple days all together for mastitis.  I felt horrible, but luckily had good nurses on duty.  Don't beat yourself up for not being there all the time.  You have another LO to take care of at home and your baby is in good hands.  Soon you will all be able to be together all the time. Good Luck and take care of yourself too!!

slh6363

I usually revolved being there around feeding times, so would get there by 11 am and stay most of the day until about. 10 pm..I would run home at some point between feedings to let my dogs out,,and DH would come after work. I can't imagine having another LO at home to take care of! It was exhausting!

Nita14701

Seems like you're doing the best you can. Especially with needing to spend time with DD.

KGS2003

Thank you so much for your responses. I know I still have at least another 2 months before they come home and I have to make it work. Reading your responses has helped me understand everyone is different and doing the best they can.

cyndi1439

We spend all the time we can with our precious baby girl-but, the NICU is over two hours away and I went back to work ASAP after delivery since I was on hospital bed rest several weeks before. It was a terribly hard choice but that way when she comes home, I'll still have plenty of FMLA left to take. We spend every weekend with her-staying in the NICU (ours has parent rooms). And we have crib cam access to see her 24/7. Still feeling terrible mommy guilt, but, it's what has to happen for now. I sure miss holding her all week though

ashleymarie512

Since I had a c-section, I couldn't go back to work until dr released me, which was four weeks pp. During that first part of leave, we'd get to the NICU around 1 when DH got home from work and we'd spend until maybe 7-8pm there. Once I went back to work, I couldn't get there until 3/4pm and then we'd only stay until 6-7ish bc I was exhausted from working all day. My office is about two minutes from the hospital so I was able to get there quick and my boss let me work from her nicu room (private room) if I felt like I needed to be there or she had a consult or something.

I couldn't imagine doing it with another kid at home. I don't think there's ever anyone who has a NICU experience that doesn't feel guilty about something. There's only so much time in the day that only so much can be accomplished. Do what you can, do your best, it's all that can be asked.