Trying 2's.....

babynurse08

I have two boys and am very early prego with a third baby. Currently my 2 1/2 year old is trying my patience at every waking second. To the point I can't wait until bedtime ( which I feel extremely guilty about) I stay home 4 days a week, my four year old does five half days of preschool during the week so I try to devote that time to my 2 1/2 year old...... Disciplining him is not working...NOTHING I DO works! My oldest was very different...any advice would be appreciated.....I hate yelling so I hope there are better ways

Chatterbug6917

I have no advice but to tell you that you are not alone. I have a 6 week old and a 25 month old and he tests my patience ever single day I'm also a sahm also. Time outs don't work here either but I'm thinking of doing a naughty box and when he does something bad he has to take one of his toys and put it into the box until the next day, it's working right now for my friends 2 yr old so maybe try that?

sschwege

You would really have to give me more details for me to give you more specific advice, but here's what works well for us:

We have sort of adopted a "Parenting With Love and Logic" approach.  We don't follow it 100% because I think it's too extreme for our family, but I like the basis of it.  You give two choices, both of which are acceptable and LO gets to choose.  If he/she doesn't choose by the time you count ten seconds in your head you get to choose, don't keep repeating it either, you say it once and it's not up for discussion.  Sometimes it's small fun ones, "Which cup would you like your milk in the blue or the green one?"  "Would you like to ride your bike or your scooter today?"  Other times there is a purpose to the choices, "Do you want to leave the park now or 1 minute from now?"  "Did you want to climb into the stroller yourself or have mama put you in?  See how whether we left the park was not an option, but the way we left the park was up to her.  We do this a lot, almost anything can be made into a choice.  It makes them feel like they have some degree of control and I can tell you DD hates it if I make the choice for her.  

Natural/Logical Consequences: Natural consequences would be something like if DD decides she doesn't want to wear her coat, 'That's fine, see how far you can get without it.' Nature sort of delivers the consequences, not you.  Logical consequences would be if for example DD starts hitting her fork on our wooden table, one warning, if it doesn't improve 'Guess you chose to eat with your hands the rest of this meal." Fork is taken away.

Time-Outs: We use these for serious things like hitting, pushing, etc.  No warnings, she goes behind the gate until her time is up and she is ready to apologize.

Taking a Break: I just started doing this I guess it's a little like a time-out, but more positive.  I use this for if DD is getting a little too wild, she has a way of rough housing with her brother that just isn't safe.  She's not doing it to be mean, but also not making safe choices.  So basically I have her go to her room, I turn on nice soothing music and set it for 2 or 5 minutes (depending on how much of a 'cool down' she needs).  She can have the door open or shut, can look at books, play with her toys, etc.  Occasionally I will join her and rub her back or something.  Just a way to sort of 'reset' everything.

I would also see if you can find patterns to this behavior, does it seem like it's happening around the same time every day?  Or is something specific triggering it?  I noticed that DD would consistently have a meltdown/misbehavior around 10:00am.  I wondered if perhaps part of it was hunger related so I started giving her a snack and that seems to have helped.

Also try to pick your battles, some things just aren't worth it!  DD went through a phase where she would fill the bathroom sink and get her hair wet in it...whatever!  She's happy and not breaking anything, just let it go! 

jlpev

OMG! My son is the same age & wears me out. My DD is 5 months old & he's done great with her until recently he gets jealous of her. Ill be anxious to see the responds. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one.