Irrational Fear of MMC

ashleyhenson1119

Does anyone else have a crazy fear of missed miscarriages? I am 10w2d and my first U/S is in two days.  I have not had any spotting or lack of symptoms (I have been taking Zofran and Phenigran so I can't tell if my m/s is missing or not).  I read so many posts about people who have all the pregnancy symptoms but don't have a heartbeat at their appt.  Is this a crazy fear and does anyone else share it?

Nikkidoll15

Have you had a mmc before?

ashleyhenson1119

No.  I had a chemical pregnancy the first time I was pregnant, but that was at 4 weeks.

Nikkidoll15

I can tell you from experience, I worried sooo very much last time and guess what? I still had a mmc. It was horrible and I don't wish the pain of mc on anyone. This pregnancy I promised myself that I would not worry because as I learned the outcome didn't change. I never enjoyed the 11weeks I had and then it was over. I really feel strongly that unless we have a reason to worry there is really no point of it. It has never changed anything and honestly takes away the happiness you can be experiencing. From the loss board "today I am pregnant" it may not help you and never reassured me when I was having fears but now that I have lived those fears, I understand it.
Good luck girl we are all in it together.

spacepotatoes

I am paranoid about this too, especially after those heartbreaking goodbye posts we had recently. I also had a chemical pregnancy so I've been nervous about this one from the start. I felt reassured after the ultrasound last Thursday but am starting to get a little worried again. I have a couple of friends IRL who have had MMCs right around this time in their pregnancies so it's hard not to think about it.

flutepharm87

After experiencing a mmc with my first pregnancy, I think it'll always be a worry for me. However, I find solace in my doppler. Each day, it gets easier and easier to find baby's beautiful h/b and it totally puts my mind at ease. 

sisterjanet

I'm not sure what makes it missed, but I too have the irrational worry that I'll miscarry.  I had a loss before I had my son and I keep feeling like the baby will be gone at my next appt.  It's like @Nikkidoll15 said though.  There are things you can do to sort of optimize your baby's health, but the baby's life is not in your hands.  It's terrifying, but you need to accept that it's not something you can control.  (At least not in a positive, my-worry-will-make-you-live way.)  Then you try to figure out how to cope and move forward from there. 

akifyre

sisterjanet I wouldn't call it irrational. It is fully understandable to feel that way. Irrational would be my fear of mirrors in bathrooms at the top of staircases. I think I link that one to scary stories my brother told me when I was very young. 

We just need to go day by day and try to distract ourselves when the "evil what if's" come knocking into our anxious brains.  

spacepotatoes

@sisterjanet - it's called "missed" because your body doesn't recognize that the baby has stopped developing right away. It can take weeks before you start feeling anything is wrong.

TeamKrueger

I worry every time I feel good... Silly, right? I'm 10 weeks 2 days. This is my very first pregnancy so it's a little scary in general. I went to the doctor last week and the only confirmation I got was another urine test. They did a blood test, but I haven't heard anything about it yet. I won't get to hear a heartbeat until the next appt that they couldn't get me in for until Nov 27, when I'll be 15.5 weeks. That seems like a REALLY long time to hear a heartbeat and also a really long time between appts... That's over 6 weeks with no check in... Blargh

nickinbrandon

Miscarriages can vary so much from person to person.  Especially since it could be an issue with the baby or perhaps the mother may have a condition.

I had a miscarriage where the baby stopped developing early but my body didn't realize it until I was almost entering the second trimester.  After I found out I miscarried I thought back to how the pregnancy had been progressing and realized that I had such strong symptoms early on and then lost my symptoms suddenly - almost like a switch went off, but since it was my first pregnancy and I was so young (unplanned at 19) I had no idea that was a problem.  I know some people still have pregnancy symptoms though even with missed miscarriages so you can't always go off that. 

I also thought back to my first dr. appointment where I thought I should have been a good 10-11 weeks but the dr. said my uterus felt small and at the most 8 weeks, I was so confused but just trusted the dr.  I wished I had pushed the dr. for an ultrasound so I could have found out earlier.  The miscarriage was the most painful experience ever and I still had to have a D&C since the sac was remaining. 

Fast forward 8 years - I now know to communicate what I want from dr.'s   Yesterday I got myself paranoid and called my OB, she let me come in for an ultrasound to ease my mind and see that the baby is still fine.  I doubt she'll let me get away with that too many times but she did it with my daughter and i'm very grateful for that.  I hate when dr.'s make you wait forever!

ashleyhenson1119

Thanks, ladies! I know this is out of my control, I just want this little nugget to be healthy and happy so badly I have a hard time relaxing.  It's comforting to know others have the same fear!

julesf817

it's totally not irrational to be afraid, but try to remind yourself that miscarriages aren't really the norm. it may seem like a lot of losses are happening on this board, but remember that the majority of people having an uneventful first tri just aren't posting anything. there are a lot of people lurking on this board! 

try to think positive and enjoy being pregnant! worrying won't change anything so it isn't really worth it.

and hey we share a due date!

 

JAM85

I don't think it's irrational at all I have the same exact feelings especially with the few rwcent posts about such unfortunate losses. All I can go on is my u/s at 8 weeks 1 day with my baby measuring exactly on time for ovulation and high HB and that most of the babes in the posts unfortunately stopped growing before the 8 week mark but they (as is normal for a lot of practices) didn't get their first u/s until now. Not that that stops me from being crazy about it but like everyone says at this point really it's not in your hands. I actually take comfort in my food aversion and vomiting as at least the means that the hormones are still pumping (again I know there are still outliers...) aside from calling my doctor and demanding an u/s which I doubt she'd give me I can't do much other than stay positive until I have a reason not to be.

noe2013

So glad that you posted this so I know I'm not the only one with this fear. I too feel so nervous now that my m/s is gone. Trying to stay positive though!!

soukupla

Thanks for posting. I have this crazy fear as well, and am trying to stay positive for my baby's sake. I won't have my first u/s until Tuesday and I'm supposed to be 12 w2d at that time. T and P to all of you!

ashleyhenson1119

Yes--- we all need to stay positive! I just heard my little nugget's heartbeat, a strong 168! This first tri is so nerve racking, I know I make it much harder than it needs to be by worrying.  T & P for everyone for strong and healthy babies!