4-year-old rigidity?? — The Bump
Pre-School

4-year-old rigidity??

FYI, I am XP-ing from Working Moms: I guess this is a rant coupled with a "am I doing something to cause this??" post. My 4-year-old is becoming increasingly rigid in his likes/dislikes, his need to have things exactly as he wants them (food, clothes, take a toy in the car for the 5-minute drive to daycare etc.) and he throws a fit nearly every time something isn't "perfect". I hate to cave but it literally makes it impossible to get out the door at times. So I try to anticipate what he's going to want to avoid a fit or saying no and then changing my mind just to get him out the door. There's been a lot of change in our lives over the last three months (new house, new neighborhood, new school) but we've done everything we can to try to make the transition as smooth as possible (still see his old school friends a lot, new bedroom is set up the same as his old room). I don't know if the rigidity is him trying to take control of his world or what, or if it's a 4-year-old thing, but I'm feeling very challenged in coping with this. I don't want to tiptoe around him all the time or give in (even worse)  but it's getting to the point that every single thing is a battle. I'm also extremely congnizant/concerned with raising a spoiled, entitled child. Up to now we've been able to stick to our guns and put up with the occasional tantrum, but it's happening all the time lately.
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Re: 4-year-old rigidity??

  • Honestly it could be an issue or just being four. It is a PITA age. If I put DDs food without asking she freaks, I give her a new whatever and she asks me to cut it! And honestly I give in often because I don't think it is worth the fight and she is great for other people and I think it is the age. Others will say I am creating a terror and I need to not give in but it is a developmental thing she cannot handle yet and my son learned and so will she.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • It's all about them trying to exert their independence. Try providing choices with with the same end results. Also we try to pick our battles so we don't end up in a power struggle.
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