It went okay - while I was there, at least. I managed to sit in the waiting room and not cry, but then I had to fill out a "postpartum exam" info sheet that asked what the baby's weight was, were there any problems during delivery, am I breastfeeding, etc. I wasn't prepared for that. DH told me to leave it blank and just handed it back to the receptionist. Got my iron checked and the nurse never said anything, which I thought was strange?
My doctor was wonderful. She is genuinely concerned. But then she told me that she did have my test results and they showed nothing. No problems with the placenta, no infection or clots, no chromosonal issues, etc. She said there was a small amount of fetal and maternal blood mixed, to which she asked whether I had experienced any trauma. I racked my brain and couldn't think of anything. I hadn't fallen, no accidents, etc. I asked if she really thought it wasn't my fault and she assured me it wasn't and there wouldn't be any reason to think that. But I think that all the time, I thought to myself.
We walked out of there okay. She said we could TTC after at least one m.cycle if we were ready, then that started an uncomfortable conversation with DH which led to misunderstanding and hurt feelings. I went home alone and just cried. I think I was looking for an answer and not knowing is killing me. And I am scared to death of ever trying for another baby, but now I inexplicably want one so badly. I hate feeling all these things at once - for the first time in my life I really feel like I'm losing it.
My postpartum appointment is tomorrow. I'm working on preparing myself as much as possible so that I don't just sit there and cry.
For those of you that have had your initial postpartum appointment, what questions did you ask and what questions do you wish you would have asked? We did request genetic testing and an autopsy, but I am not sure if they will have the results by tomorrow.