Hi New Person - With a Question

Savannah2002

So I'm co hosting a baby shower for my soon to be SIL.  We are not close.  She wanted to do the idea of asking people to bring books instead of cards (she also wants a diaper pyramid but that's another battle).  I feel really weird doing that for a variety of reasons since the rudeness would be attributed to the hostesses of the party.  It's not a huge shower so I was thinking of going and buying some classic children's books and having them stacked on a table at the entrance of the venue with a sign providing directions for the guests.  Then each guest could pick a book and sign it with a message for the baby and parents and put it in a basket.  That way no one is being directed which gifts to buy, the baby library get's some books and the heartfelt messages are in them....and I don't look like a rude person.  Or do you think it would be better for me to have a random book at each table setting so no one fights or disagrees or feels left out over which book they are left with from the pile.  

FemShep

I like your idea.  I wouldn't worry too much about people feeling angry about the book they get to sign; they're adults and shouldn't be too upset.  If you have space, I like the idea of putting the books, with a sign explaining what to do, near the entrance to the party.  Having books at place settings can get crowded, especially if you don't gather them before the food is served.

RibbitGrl930

I say have them at the entrance to sign as they come in. It'll be like a guestbook. It gets it out of the way without having to find a way to work it in later in the shower.

Savannah2002

Thank you.  We have plenty of room for a table at the entrance and I didn't even think about books being in the way of the food.  

Now onto how to get out of directly telling people to bring diapers to make a pyramid (and attach receipts so she can return them).  

FemShep

Savannah2002 said:

Thank you.  We have plenty of room for a table at the entrance and I didn't even think about books being in the way of the food.  

Now onto how to get out of directly telling people to bring diapers to make a pyramid (and attach receipts so she can return them).  

Oh my....  Why not just tell her you have your heart set on a special diaper cake for her?  And maybe I'm confused, but wouldn't you be taking the diapers out of the packages to make the pyramid?  In that case, no one will accept them for returns.

Savannah2002

Apparently the picture she found on the internet is a stacking method for diapers in their packaging.  Honestly, I don't think she really expects any of us to stack anything she just thinks diaper pyramid sounds cuter than diaper raffle or bingo.  

Yeah I tried saying I wanted to do a diaper cake but that wasn't going to provide her with "enough diapers or a variety to try."  We aren't close but I don't want to rock the boat with being my usual blunt self cause the other co-hostess is her aunt that thinks the suns shines out of this girl's ass.  

MMason12

Like PP have said I love your idea to replace the MTB book idea.  Although I do think it is sad that you feel obligated to help build the babies library.  That is the responsibility of the parents to be.  It is great that you realize you should not ask your guest to bring extra gifts with them. 

As far as the diapers go -- why don't you just tell the MTB that as the host of the shower you do not feel comfortable asking guests to spend more money on extra gifts like books and diapers.  At the end of the day since you are co-hosting the shower all I can do is voice your opinion and come a decision with the other host.  Sounds like an overall crappy situation. 

Savannah2002

Well I am putting together the invites (she wants hot pink glitter in them....people are going to hate me) so the diaper slip may just get eaten by all of my dogs.  

I don't mind buying the books.  I can afford it (not trying to sound snotty just that it isn't a hardship for me at the moment) and perhaps I will pick one up on manners/etiquette for children.  Based on other stuff with that family this kid needs all the help she can get.

rbtrumpet

Savannah2002 said:

Well I am putting together the invites (she wants hot pink glitter in them....people are going to hate me) so the diaper slip may just get eaten by all of my dogs.  

I don't mind buying the books.  I can afford it (not trying to sound snotty just that it isn't a hardship for me at the moment) and perhaps I will pick one up on manners/etiquette for children.  Based on other stuff with that family this kid needs all the help she can get.

:-bd

Why do I forsee your SIL-to-be coming on here in a few weeks whining that she can't plan her own shower, and do all the tacky things she wants?

pepperedmoth

If it was me I'd only put glitter in ones she's going to see (hers, her mom's, etc). I'd be pissed if I opened an envelope and glitter spilled out. I got one that had glitter on it, and that was bad enough.

As for books, you could choose one nice classic children's book (not a baby book, but a classic children's book) and have everyone sign it a guest book. What happens to the 10 different autographed books when baby outgrows them? They are keepsakes, but will they all just end up in a box because it is too many to display, but she doesn't want to sell them or toss them? One classic can be kept and cherished. Something like Where the Wild Things Are, Wind in the Willows, Little House on the Prairie, or Where the Sidewalk Ends (we used this at my shower).

Heh. I hate glitter too. Another practical, peace-making idea might be to do confetti instead. It's still a little annoying, but sooooooooo much easier to clean up than glitter. You can always bat your eyes and say you misunderstood what she meant if she complains. 

The book idea from the PP is a sweet one. 

RebeccaY1

I think it's really rude to make expectations of the host of a party.  If someone is nice enough to host a shower for you then just be grateful.  My mom and SIL are hosting mine.  They asked for a guest list and a few game ideas.  I therefore sent a guest list and a list of about 10 different games.  I wanted to give some choice for games, but wanted them to have their choice.  I don't think it's appropriate to tell someone what the invitations should look like or what types of gifts should be expected.