I would really like some advice....

irandaann03

I dont post on here often but I would really like aome advice and I dont have many peop to ask so here goes.... I am 12 wks pregnant and since I became pregnant I have zero.sex drive. My partner and I are having alot of difficulties that were not there before the pregnancy, primarily financial issues, and I know that stress is playing apart. But I dont even have a desire to have sex. this is causing even more problems between us. How can I get her to understand its not her, so much as a combination of morning sickness (which only occurs at night) my body feeling different and stress? ive tried to talk to her about it but she isnt receptive to.conversations about it. I apologize for this being long but I would really love some advice.

healz413

My partner and I haven't been pregnant yet, so I cannot offer any advice from experience. But I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

I believe that is quite common for pregnant people to have significantly lowered sex drive in the first trimester. So hopefully that will improve for you soon.

It sounds, though, like there are a broader issues coming to the forefront here.Your partner is probably having very complex feelings related to the pregnancy that she may not even know how to think through herself much less talk through with you.

Is couples counseling an option for you two? I imagine that pregnancy is quite a stressful time for couples, but I'm guessing it doesn't even compare to how stressful and exhausting life is once the baby is here. I would think that anything you can do now to make sure you're communicating really well and each person is being heard would really be worth it for setting a strong foundation for when the baby is here.

Maybe folks who are pregnant or have had babies can weigh in?

ATXmommas

I agree that it would be great for you and your partner to read a pregnancy book together and go to doctor visits together so that she can have a better understanding of what your body is going through right now. I remember talking to a friend during early pregnancy about how exhausted I was and she made a comment about how I shouldn't be that exhausted yet. It wasn't ill intentioned on her part - she's never been pregnant and some people don't understand that it's not just the extra weight at the end of pregnancy that creates fatigue. Since they can't "see" you are pregnant yet, it may be hard to associate all the hard work and changes your body is going through right now. I think it would be helpful if your partner knew that this is completely normal and has nothing to do with her.

irandaann03

thank you, everyone. she aytends the Dr apts w mr and has tried some but it's like a lot of it isn't real. Wallace23 you are right it's not the root. I'm a counselor do I. firmly believe in therapy. couples counseling is out for now but I'm trying to get her to go on her own. I know things won't be made easier by the baby being here. I really appreciate the advice and support.