People questioning your parenting choices.

Siblynika

AprlShwrs18 said:

MamaP19 said:

Motherhood has taught me a lot of lessons - the #1 lesson being never to judge what another mom does with their kid (with the exception of intentionally hurting them). I got lots of stares and shitty comments for formula feeding, but of course no one bothered to find out that after a traumatic birth with DD, my body decided not to produce any BM. I had my heart set on breastfeeding and was totally crushed it didn't work out. I also got a lot of taunting remarks, from family members no less, because I had my heart set on natural birth but ended up with a c/s. I wish it wasn't the case, but people (especially those withOUT kids) will judge what you do. It took me about a year but I finally have thick enough skin where I really don't give any weight to what other people think. I've never made any decision for my daughter that wasn't well-researched and with her best interests at heart. If someone else doesn't like, they can go fluck themselves..

I will never understand anyone that doesn't support breastfeeding. And as far as CDing goes, if it's good enough for the royal baby - I'm pretty sure it's just fine for my kid too.

Is anyone else picturing Kate Middleton bent over the toilet with a diaper sprayer? 

Unknown

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LexGator

I learned pretty quickly after DD, who was an impossible newborn and is a challenging toddler, was born to keep my mouth shut. People judge, especially moms who haven't been in your situation. A lot of people think that their way was best and want to force it on you, even though there are thousands of ways to successfully raise your children.

My advice is to stick to your plan, be willing to be flexible depending on your family's needs, and don't worry about anyone else. Once I started focusing on what we were doing well and not worrying about what we were doing differently than others, the stress started to dissipate. Like someone else said, this is just going to get worse after the baby is born.

alinafed

I get frustrated at things like these too, but really I'm sure your sister didn't mean anything by it and it was just an off-handed comment.

pennstated912

This is happening to me all the time right now. My DH's grandmother thinks she's the "be all to end all" of raising children.

I'm apparently an incompetent and neglectful parent because I am FFing, putting our child in daycare instead of staying home, asking that people who aren't vaccinated with TDAP to wash their hands before they hold him and he hasn't hd his vaccines and for using a highly rated car seat (this one wasy favorite. She was telling me that parents are too protective nowadays and that when she had my FIL in the car, he just lied on a mat on the back seat).

She makes me want to do this:

jessicacss

my SIL told DH that Chloe would NEVER sleep through the night if we didn't go ahead and switch her to formula with cereal in it.  She refused to take a bottle if I was near her until she was about 8-9 months old, and we switched her to NUK bottles.  I had a nurse ask me to stop BFing her in the doctor's office (in the back, not waiting room) because she felt it was vulgar?!?! You can't see anything, my baby's big head was in the way

MamaP19

tootsscott said:

Our intention is to breastfeed the twins and haven't gotten any flack for that yet, but the look on my MIL's face when I said I wasn't going to get special baby laundry detergent and use what we already use was priceless! I'm sure she'll go out and buy us a year supply of it just so we use it, but I explained it doesn't hurt to TRY what we've always used and IF the kids react to it then we'll switch!

I got so much Dreft at my shower for DD it was ridiculous. So far, that's the only detergent I can't use with her because it gives her a crazy rash. I wash her clothes mixed in with mine & we have no issues.

MamaP19

Siblynika said:

AprlShwrs18 said:

MamaP19 said:

Motherhood has taught me a lot of lessons - the #1 lesson being never to judge what another mom does with their kid (with the exception of intentionally hurting them). I got lots of stares and shitty comments for formula feeding, but of course no one bothered to find out that after a traumatic birth with DD, my body decided not to produce any BM. I had my heart set on breastfeeding and was totally crushed it didn't work out. I also got a lot of taunting remarks, from family members no less, because I had my heart set on natural birth but ended up with a c/s. I wish it wasn't the case, but people (especially those withOUT kids) will judge what you do. It took me about a year but I finally have thick enough skin where I really don't give any weight to what other people think. I've never made any decision for my daughter that wasn't well-researched and with her best interests at heart. If someone else doesn't like, they can go fluck themselves..

I will never understand anyone that doesn't support breastfeeding. And as far as CDing goes, if it's good enough for the royal baby - I'm pretty sure it's just fine for my kid too.

Is anyone else picturing Kate Middleton bent over the toilet with a diaper sprayer? 

LOL. I would love to see that. The only thing royal baby related that I watched was some special on the training that the nannies have to go through and one part showed them practicing with cloth diapers on dolls. Prefolds no less.. Someone needs to buy that kid some bumgenius!

AnnikaD20

MamaP19 said:

tootsscott said:

Our intention is to breastfeed the twins and haven't gotten any flack for that yet, but the look on my MIL's face when I said I wasn't going to get special baby laundry detergent and use what we already use was priceless! I'm sure she'll go out and buy us a year supply of it just so we use it, but I explained it doesn't hurt to TRY what we've always used and IF the kids react to it then we'll switch!

I got so much Dreft at my shower for DD it was ridiculous. So far, that's the only detergent I can't use with her because it gives her a crazy rash. I wash her clothes mixed in with mine & we have no issues.

I forgot about that one. I got that from my mom too. She was shocked that we weren't planning to use Dreft, but we already use a fragrance/dye free detergent since DH doesn't like his clothes to have any smell. It will probably be fine for baby laundry, and if it's not we can switch.

JaneW2

I'm definitely not using Dreft.  We both have skin issues, so we've always used free/clear detergent.  Plus, Dreft is actually scented!  For a baby?  For OUR baby?  Really?

brandlebugg

I, too, am choosing to cloth diaper and I'm going to give EBF a try! It seems like everyone has an opinion they want to share with me about these topics... I get looked at like I have 3 heads when I say I'm going to CD; and I actually feel like I get a lot of pressure to BF and to "stick it out," although my plan is to listen to my body because I believe a happy healthy mom is very important for baby... no matter which route you go in feeding.

However, the worst topic for me right now, has to do with DH's family being catholic and we're not. We are Christians, but we don't believe in infant baptism. DH's mom flipped a lid and got really emotional, basically telling us that we're risking our child being damned to hell if he doesn't get baptized and dies before he does. It's like she forgets we're not catholic. I told her to feel free to baptize him with her holy water when we're not looking if it will make her feel better... sheesh.

CRUN2012

wilburbud said:

The unsolicited parenting advice NEVER stops.. My oldest is 10, and my dad still gives me "thoughts" here and there.  And I never ask for it. And I rarely take his advice.

Anytime Im at a baby shower, I give the SAME advice, and I give it to you now: 

 Advice is like a recipe.  What tastes good to some person may not taste good to you. Take advice in stride, piece it together in a way that works for you, and make your own recipe

LOVE that advice

casholmes

I feel like anytime I talk about my 'parenting plans' with this baby, people roll their eyes at me b/c he's my first. Coworkers who already have kids kind of give me these 'aw, you're so cute' looks when I try to talk about it