Does that feeling ever go away?

alijanepot

I still get a little sad/angry when people announce they are pregnant.  After a long struggle, I was finally blessed with an amazing LO, but when people around me announce their news, part of me still gets angry and sad.  I have no idea why.  I am crazy, right?  I feel so ungrateful when I feel that way.  Does it ever go away? 

Robeano

I know it did for me. But while I was struggling to get pregnant, and had some losses I went into counseling. That helped me so much and I think is why I don't get upset at all by those things.

pantsarella

I sort of feel that way. Not nearly as bad as it was before, though. I think part of it for me is knowing that we want another one and we'll have to go through an FET to get that one. Meanwhile, all these people are out having fun getting pregnant for free. I think once we have one more and we're done I'll be able to move past it. I mean, DH and I never have to worry about contraception, so I win that battle, lol. 

IBackBevo

I think maybe once your family is complete it will at least lessen...

 

CarrieB.

I still feel this way and I'm pg w #2. Out family will be complete after this and I imagine that the feelings will start to fade w time.

JBDamonM

I always get a ping of jealousy. I have NO idea why. I'm not ready for number 2, I had a really good IVF cycle and I know that so many of you ladies have had it worse and harder than me. Yet every time I hear an announcement, I feel like there are wounds that get re-opened. I hope this passes for me, I really do.

mdiblasi10

I still feel that way, but I am also trying for #2 right now. It just hurts. I am hoping it will really go away once I feel our family is complete. 

alijanepot

I'm glad I am not alone in this.  I too hope it will go away with time.  Thanks for hearing me out.

ccam

I do feel that way still sometimes, but I'm also TTC #2, so I'm sure that doesn't help.  It's definitely different than before DS, but it's still there.

SandyEggo5

For me, it went away for a little bit when I got pregnant with DD and up until we lost the pregnancy with #2 at almost 12 weeks. And then that was followed by a FET BFN. It feels so awful to get that stinging feeling back now when my friends announce their pregnancies. You are definitely not alone. It's not that you're angry with them, it's just that you're sad for yourself. Hang in there!

Ruthie04

I was very happy for others while pregnant, but struggle with announcements since the boys were born. When my sister had a "surprise" pregnancy after not using birth control while her husband was unemployed and years after she had decided she was done having children, I flipped. I have tried to get over my own drama and even sent maternity and baby clothes, but I still have a lot of sad feelings about the baby.

Like others, I think I'll feel better once we decide our family is complete. But, we have decided that we will not revisit the RE. We are, however, planning to stop trying to prevent in the next year or so. If we don't have a miracle BFP before I reach a certain age, DH will get a vasectomy. I'm worried about how I'll cope once we stop preventing, but I'm hopeful we will find peace in our two boys.

It's such a hard place and I don't think many understand that the pain of IF can last years after our LOs arrive. Many hugs your way!

AKB090609

It is still bittersweet for me to find out someone is expecting. I hope that someday I feel differently, but it is still the same as when we were TTC.

Julie21613

I too still get that pang when an announcement is made from the "fertile" world.  I know several people IRL that suffer from IF so when one of them announced her pregnancy I was over the moon excited for her.  I was pregnant with DD at the time so that helped I'm sure.  I do know that when women in my support group got pregnant, I was happy for them, but also very sad for me wondering "when will it be my turn".  So, you feelings are completely normal.  I don't think those feelings will go away completely for me... but I'm hoping they will get better once we know our family is complete. 

Our family may be "complete" now, but we aren't ready to make that call yet.  We will be starting up again when Maggie is 6 months old.....I'm pretty sure we won't go for 5 more rounds of IVF again.  Sorry for rambling on!

MoFree

Now that I am preparing for a FET for baby #2, those ugly, dark feelings are back. Whenever someone IRL or in my BM. announces their pregnancy, my initial reaction is 'that must be nice.' Your feelings are your feelings so just accept them and don't think anything negative. I am hoping that once our family is complete those feelings will go away.

ashleymarie512

I still have those feelings towards people for whom it seems to come so easy and those who have twins (we lost one). I also started harboring resentment towards those who get to carry to term. After having LO at 29w6d, I was so jealous of the third tri moms--didn't get maternity pics, DH never even felt her move from the outside, wasted mat leave recovering from a section without a baby at home, etc. All sorts of things that pissed me off and were just continuations of the feelings of IF.

I will say that counseling did help me. I learned that it was ok to grieve my "ideas" of pregnancy and learn to accept my situation. It was hard and it creeps back in every now and then, but it's def gotten better. I also learned that whatever I'm feeling is ok, don't tell yourself, or let others say, that whatever you're feeling isn't ok!