Hard Day- UPDATE

JANCANDANCE

I have seen texts in the past about work stuff but he has been smart about deleting her. I blocked her out of his iPhone completely (iOS 7)
They are both stupid AS FUCK because this entire thread is on his county phone. Dumb bitch. UGHHHH. I'm so pissed right now. Sorry @riansmommie for my mouth lol

RIngReady

I have no words-I am a run from conflict kind of girl, and that is so not what you should do right now. 

I do want to send hugs though!!! 

amberdt03

I don't think her husband will report her to HR. I hate to say this but he's obviously not bothered about staying in touch with her.

CindyRelluh

Wow what a bitch. I'm sorry

kelseypie

What a bitch. I agree with @MeghanKG about her calling you chubby. It's a cheap shot, and nothing more. Clearly, she's insecure and knows you're far better than her or she wouldn't feel the need to make up flaws to point out to YH. I wouldn't assume that he said anything to her about your size, I'm sure she's just being an asshole to make herself seem more desirable. Though, I can't imagine slutface ho bag looks good on anyone.

YH needs to cut her out socially and professionally, IMO. It sounds like she's proven time and again that she can't let go of the past. Their professional relationship can't be more important than your marriage.

riansmommie

@JANCANDANCE your foul mouth is totally allowed! Hope everything works itself out. ((((HUGS))))

GalLaura

I agree with everyone that he needs to be confronted. The part that I'm curious about is what is your gut feeling on this situation? Do you think something is going on? Also you mentioned your going through a tough time. Is this something that needs to be addressed on a bigger picture ?

He seemed to like the flirting. Even if it's innocent it needs to stop. He should always defend you.

And you are not fat! She sucks.

JANCANDANCE

No just the stress of living separate right now and a home remodel. But this is definitely not the first run in with this cunt. And his response is always the same he says it is always about work. Fucking lies

GraceInCA

Don't let this simmer. If waiting until tonight means you will stew and have a harder time communicating later, you should tell him that speaking NOW is a priority. I know if it were me, I'd pack up the baby (or find someone to watch her) and head over there.

llbta85

MeghanKG said:

I'm with @MeghanKG up until the text to her, sorry, I just think that gives her some satisfaction.  I think your husband should report her to HR.  You have mentioned her being like this in the past and its unacceptable.  If he doesn't want to report her then that unfortunately shows you that he is part of the problem.  Maybe try some counseling as well.  Good luck!

Report her to HR? He's an active participant in the conversations! Let's not place all the blame on her. Yes, she's a dumb whore but he is married and knows better. Any HR department would look at those texts and say "errr, well how about you stop responding to her?"

Very true, I thought she had mentioned that it wasn't limited to just the phone. 

bel194

What a jealous bitch.. Kudos to you for not flipping out on her dumb ass. And since when is a size 8 fat??

CindyRelluh

I'd kill to be a size 8.

HeartLikeMine3

So sorry your dealing with this, you need to tell your DH he needs to end contact with her. And he better be very sorry for not taking up for you! Hugs

JANCANDANCE

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife.
He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye.

I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

riansmommie

JANCANDANCE said:

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife.
He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye.

I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

I would have called him back and flipped out! You are such a strong woman. BTW you aren't a lunatic, but your hubby is doing a good job at making you feel like that. When you talk, if he acts a fool a throat punk and then swift kick to the nuts is totally acceptable.

JeseyJo

JANCANDANCE said:

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife. He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye. I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

OH man. I'm sorry! =( I would have flipped my lid, especially with that response!  I'm definitely not one to give advice on how to keep calm. I tend to overreact and freak out! But I do agree that he NEEDS to know exactly how you feel about her and if he is smart, he will cut all ties with her. I know it's hard but at least TRY to keep calm and not totally lose your marbles when you talk to him. 

Maelara

You are a strong woman! I'd have lost my shit on him already, especially after a phone call like that. I can't give any better advice but I do have creepy Internet hugs!

abbity

@JANCANDANCE

How are you feeling? I am terribly sorry that as crappy as Monday already is, you have to deal with this. You are a beautiful person inside and out and a great mother to two beautiful girls.  Hang in there.  I agree with everyone that a serious conversation needs to be held, and the very fact that you care about this SHOULD MAKE him care.  Period. 

I always say to my hubs "Because its important to me, then it should automatically be important to you."

Stay strong as you can be and you have all of us Bs to back you up in any way you need.

nikel13

JANCANDANCE said:

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife.
He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye.

I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

That's cold! That almost sounds like what an employer would say to an employee that they think is overreacting. I would have called back and demanded that he talk to me as his wife and answer a few quick questions so that I could have peace of mind. I also might have spewed some profanity!

Good luck! This is a sucky situation. You have to patience of a saint and are being really amazing.

SLaBM2B

Give me this cunts phone number bc I swear to all things holy I'm about to rip this bitch a new fucking asshole. Stupid twat!!!!!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING PISSED OFF

mrskait13

You are a much stronger woman than I. I would have probably lost my shit. I hope all works out. the woman is his talking to is clearly and idiot. who the hell talks to a MARRIED man like that?

GingerBabyTX

This all makes me sick to my stomach for you. I really hope he decides to man up and do the right thing.

SLaBM2B

And since when is size 8 CHUBBY??? I'd KILL to be a size 8!!

BLT20051

I'd definitely talk to him but I'd leave her out of it. While she knows he's married, she's not the one in the relationship. I'd be more concerned about my husband having inappropriate conversations with another woman than some bitch calling me fat. KWIM? *hugs* We're here for you.

amberdt03

BLT20051 said:

I'd definitely talk to him but I'd leave her out of it. While she knows he's married, she's not the one in the relationship. I'd be more concerned about my husband having inappropriate conversations with another woman than some bitch calling me fat. KWIM? *hugs* We're here for you.

I agree. Why is he asking her if she is going to Arizona? Yeah she is trying to talk down about you, but he started the convo.

MrsKatieW

I agree with BLT. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Nix55

I know you are getting lots of conflicting advice, but do not contact her or report her. Doing so could jeopardize your husband's job. I am sorry. It has got to suck...really, really, really badly, but you must remain calm and composed.

Nix55

JANCANDANCE said:

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife.
He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye.

I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

Ughhhhh. What a twat! Can a guy be a twat? Well I just made him one. Can we all order pizzas to his school? Call in a fire? Oh wait, that one might be illegal.

JANCANDANCE

Aww ladies! You rock my socks! I know it is hard to grasp things over the internet sometimes but you make me feel so much better.
I'm not doing too great. I've been in bed all day and now I have to stop crying and put on a brave I haven't ugly cried all day face for my super smart 11 yr old.

I'm just afraid to have this conversation bc it will probably bring up "real" issues like respect. It is our biggest issue. It happens all the time with his mom as well. He never defends me. And his excuse is you've got this, you don't need me. It is like he won't respect the fact that I am a strong woman, who speaks her mind and is a great mom.

He is always making me feel like I'm on his staff. I'm just afraid of that convo. Because if you ladies really knew me this MF would have been cut by now. I've remained calm and kept my cool for months about this situation bc he is considered a "public" figure but I'm not willing to be disrespected. I also refuse to raise two girls to be weak women who are not valued. That is not an option at all. As creepy as it sounds I love you gals!

TheTamedShrew

I'm late to this as well, but I want to echo the sentiments of everyone else.  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I hope he has the decency to give you a solid apology and explanation this evening.  The conversation was inappropriate and disrespectful on so many levels, and don't let him try to convince you otherwise.  You are seriously gorgeous (and I never just say that to anyone). This woman seems to be trying to take advantage of your current time away from each other.  She is a serious cunt-whore.

BLT20051

Can someone come over and watch the kids so you two can go somewhere else and talk?  That way a)the kids don't see/hear it b)you're more likely to stay level headed if it's somewhere neutral c) it's harder for either of you to walk away from the conversation. Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Ballet513

Why don't you ask him how he would feel if one of his daughters (future) husbands did this to her? What if his daughter saw a text on her husbands phone calling her "chubby" after growing a delivering a human successfully? I bet he wouldn't feel good about that. 

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. 

GracieL79

Sorry you're going through this. Good luck with your talk.
Also, I'm currently a size 8 and we are not chubby!!! She just sounds jealous and crazy!!

Monkeybutt80

JANCANDANCE said:

Okay this is hilarious. I sent him an email this morning and signed it Your Chubby Wife. He just called and said to me word for word......I see you have some concerns and we can address them further this evening. Talk soon? Bye bye. I didn't even get a word in. I'm about to lose my shit. He is testing everything in me and making me feel like I'm a lunatic. I hate this.

You are such a strong women.  Lots of respect for you here.  I would have lost it and showed up at his work and then showed up at her work.  It seems like you are handling it calmly (or as calmly as one can in this kind of situation), and I hope your talk goes well tonight.  

mommakristydawn

I am also late to read this but what a whore. You are far from Chubby and you delivered his beautiful baby just a few short months ago. You are way stronger than I could have been. You are sooo not crazy, any woman would have been hurt reading something like that on their husbands phone. That bitch needs to be knocked into her place, that DIRTY SKANK! :-0

JANCANDANCE

@violet1183 not in this particular thread but I have in the past. Ultimatum is def on the table here. And @BLT20051 I already called a sitter. Great minds!

mrsmichigander

I keep reading this wishing I had words of wisdom. My heart breaks for you.

When I need help I go to the Lord because he's infinately smarter than me. He knows every detail of what's going on. Clearly you are already an amazing woman with self control. Two scriptures come to mind. First you're married and are/were committed to love each other. Love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, isn't puffed up, doesn't boast, wants the best in others ; hopes all things, believes all things, never fails. (I'm sure that's not word for word) . In real life love isn't a a poem for the wall, it's HARD.

the second is when Jesus overturned the moneychangers tables and drove them out with a whip. I'd really like to tear after your husband with a whip and make him hurt like he's hurt you.

I hope you are able to respond in love (tough love counts!) .

CindyRelluh

Ugh, it sounds like he's going to try acting like he is the man and can do what he wants. I'm thinking about you girl, BIG HUGS from Florida!

Don't let him make excuses, and be strong no matter what! I know you're thinking of your babies too, but you make sure you're taken care of.

Oh and I'll come slap a bitch if I need to! @slabm2b and I will take her ass out!

JANCANDANCE

Ladies, it is a quarter to 7 pm do you know where my husband is? FFS.

KellenHi21

JANCANDANCE said:

Ladies, it is a quarter to 7 pm do you know where my husband is? FFS.

Idk where ur husband is, BUT we are all here for u lady! We got ur back! I hope he gets there soon!