Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

Just when it should have been over...

xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
in Blended Families
She files for an increase in CS. H has four CS payments left. FOUR!!!! So now we get to go back to court. Because the 100k in lawyers bills, the 75k plus in CS (not including insurance and all the extras, clothes, extra curriculars, etc) signing a mortgage for her, paying for improvements for her house. None of that has been enough.
I feel so defeated. And I know H does too. I am sure she is going to file for an extension on the CS to go past SS turning 19. We were finally reaching the end of the tunnel. Where we would be able to make improvements to our home, set some money aside for travel, for saving, etc.
H would never let his son go without. He wouldnt cut him off at 19. But this has the potential to go well beyond that.

Really, this is just a vent. Had to get it out where someone would understand. Though I am sure it will be flamed. :::zips up suit::::
Report Reply to Post

Re: Just when it should have been over...

  • mccall0113mccall0113 member
    No flaming. Just hugs. Ridiculous.
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    I think if the child stays with the CP through college you can request an extension? I'm not really sure how it works but that is def bullshit.

    Sorry you are dealing with this. Hopefully it will resolve quickly.
    Report Reply
  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member

    Absolute horse hockey and I'm so very sorry!!!

    Report Reply
  • WahooWahoo member
    Do you know what the norm is in your state?  Will your SS still be in high school?  Unless your SS is special needs (when I think continued CS is warranted) or has not graduated from high school, I think this is b.s.  If your SS goes off to college, he will be on campus for most of the year.  If he stays home, he  can get a job to help support the household.  And if BM doesn't need to worry about being in a good school system for her son, she can downsize / move to a cheaper area without needing to consider the school system.
    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
    Report Reply
  • sweetwalkssweetwalks member
    Geez! I'm so sorry! There was a similar thing to happen with my FIL and MIL, but thankfully it didn't go this far.
    Report Reply
  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    He will graduate two months after tuning 19. Which is why it didn't end at 18. Age of majority in my state is 19, so CS goes until 19 or graduates HS. No plans for college, he has no plans for anything really, so who knows what will happen. He's not special needs, though BM is convinced he is and she is capable of putting on quite a show.

    I need to investigate more to see what the norm is. Idk if it's normal to take it past 19. I am sure he will continue to live with her, but really at that point, he needs to assume some responsibility for himself, just like most of us did, I am sure.
    Report Reply
  • WahooWahoo member

    Unless he has a diagnosis, and he should have one if only through the school system, then I don't see how she is going to convince a judge that he is so in need of continued care. 

    Is there a more affordable compromise you can reach?  Offering to pay for classes in community college?  Offering to keep him on DH's health insurance? 

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
    Report Reply
  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    I am so sorry Mary. That's crap. After all you have been sacrificing, this is BS. I have no words. Just hugs and my sympathies. I hope the judge sees this got what it is and denies her.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
    Report Reply
  • bebe11bebe11 member
    Sounds like bs to me.  I hope the judge will see right through it.

     

    Report Reply
  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    Reminds me of the  time BD's mom took his dad back to court for CS after DD was born. She said he owed back CS from when he worked for her father. Truth was that her father withheld her CS and wrote her a separate check each and everytime BD's father was paid. They were able to subpoena the bank records to prove it. That's when I really knew BD's mom was a real b*tch because what was she trying to get that money for? It definitely wasn't going to to to BD or DD.

    Petty, money hungry PITAs. Sorry you are going through this Mary.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

    Report Reply
  • Lavender PLavender P member
    She probably sees her window of opportunity to get the most out of your DH as closing and therefore trying to maximize it. It is despicable that she is doing this and I'm so sorry for you and your DH. Hopefully the judge will see right through her.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
    Report Reply
  • twister22twister22 member
    Interwebz hugs  >:D<

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this BS.
    image
    Report Reply
  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Lavender P said:
    She probably sees her window of opportunity to get the most out of your DH as closing and therefore trying to maximize it. It is despicable that she is doing this and I'm so sorry for you and your DH. Hopefully the judge will see right through her.

    ^^ This.  It sounds like she's scrambling to keep getting some money so that she can continue to live the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. I have a hard time believing that a Judge would grant an increase with only a few months left, let alone extend the CS beyond your SS graduating.  I can see the Judge agreeing to an extension until HS graduation, but anything beyond that is ludicrous.  

    And I disagree with trying to find a compromise with BM.  I wouldn't agree to paying for college (unless you have the means to do so) or keeping SS on your insurance unless he's enrolled in college.  Any discussion regarding college or insurance needs to be had with SS.  He's a goddamn adult and BM doesn't need to be involved in whatever agreements DH makes with SS once he graduates HS.  At 19 there's no reason he can't get a job to help pay for part of his college or apply for financial aide.  

    I'm sorry you are dealing with this.  It is such total and complete BS.
    image

    Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools



    Report Reply
  • pjmommy04pjmommy04 member
    That is BS do you know yet why she is asking for an extension? I agree with all of the other pp that unless there is a valid reason I can't see why a judge would agree to this! I feel for you this sucks
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Thanks ladies.

    There will be no compromises. We would no doubt pay for any educational path he chose, as long as he got good grades, and worked PT to pay for his living expenses. That's the deal. We pay for schooling, you meet out requirements everyone wins. You don't like them, best of luck to you. And please know we wouldn't make it that hard for him to be successful. But that's a pointless convo bc he swears he is just going to "open his own business". What that will be he can't say. So who knows.

    PP is right. This is a last ditch effort to maintain her lifestyle. The one where she works part time for 3/4 of the year. Meanwhile we both work FT, H working 90+ hours a week. On the subpoena it states her reasons as a change in her circumstances and that the NcP is making more money. Yes. He is. But he isn't making more than what the CS was based on. Who knows what will happen, but you know I will keep you updated ;)
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"