Is coed the norm now?

bossyfnp

My sister is hosting my shower. We decided it would be best to hold it at a restaurant. At first she threw around the idea of a co ed shower, but then when we started to put the list together and the numbers started climbing towards 80, I'm like no. We both come from large families, my husband is close with all his family cousins, 2nd cousins, etc., etc. I'm really just close with my immediate family and with his immediate family and that's all I invited family wise. Already from my side of family and friends it was close to 30. So anyways I told my husband that it would just be females and he's was okay with that..(he doesn't really enjoy them anyways when we go to other showers). Anyways, the invites have went out, addressed to the specific invitees. But the husbands are calling my husband and asking if they can come...MmMm!..NO!..I said to my husband, that if they wanted to be included he could have something here...Now im kind of feeling bad because I wanted to include all that I can , but now it seems like im excluding others that wanted to be included....oh well nothing I can do about it now. This is pretty much just a vent.

 

bossyfnp

Geez, do you have to put women only on invites now!

dufferoo

That is weird. Co-ed is definitely not the norm in my circle. I hope your husband is just like, "Dude ir's a shower! I'm not even going!" and then I hope those men feel silly for trying to crash.

74dragonfly

I am not a fan of co ed. Maybe it is my circle but the guys are not into showers.

EastCoastBride

jociejones said:

That is weird. Co-ed is definitely not the norm in my circle. I hope your husband is just like, "Dude ir's a shower! I'm not even going!" and then I hope those men feel silly for trying to crash.

Yeah.  This is where I'm at.  It's not normal in my circle/ area.  I've been to one coed wedding and one coed baby shower.  And that's it. 

I really want to know who these men are who WANT to go to a shower and are the ones calling asking "can Icome?".  LOL. 

Don't feel bad.  You're doing the traditional thing and there's nothing wrong with it.  You don't have to now provide a "guys event".  The men will survive for 3 hours w/o their wives....

Empireceo

My mom was outraged that DH wasn't going to come to my shower.  It had never even crossed my mind that he would come.  So after she said something I asked him if he wanted to be there, to which he responded, "Like I want a kick in the nuts."

ktpaladino

My shower was co-ed, but it was more like the fellas hang out at the bar separately kind of thing...my husband stayed close for the gift unwrapping and we made the men do a silly chug the beer from a baby bottle game....in which the prize was some good brewery beer, so they were all about it. I think they were hesitant to go at first but ended up having a really good time. The past 3 or 4 showers I have been to have been similar...the guys were "around" but not necessarily participating in everything. Kind of like mingling occasionally but keeping to the pack type deal. However with your situation, 80 is a big guest list to include all the fellas, so I agree it's probably just best to leave them out of it. If inviting the guys made our guest list creep up that high, we probably wouldn't have done it. I believe we had a total of 7 guys...our dads, brothers, and DH's two best buds...that was it.

bossyfnp

Thanks for all the responses. I think im over it now, its just a lot of the men calling are my husbands coworkers/friends persons that I wouldnt necessarily say that i had anything relationsh or bond with, and i extended the invite to there wifes as a courtesy. Anyways i have no control over it, and like others suggested if he wants to do something to include the guys he can put it together.

dufferoo

bossyfnp said:

Thanks for all the responses. I think im over it now, its just a lot of the men calling are my husbands coworkers/friends persons that I wouldnt necessarily say that i had anything relationsh or bond with, and i extended the invite to there wifes as a courtesy. Anyways i have no control over it, and like others suggested if he wants to do something to include the guys he can put it together.

I think that's your problem right there: that you invited women whom you have no bond with except through their husbands. That's probably why everyone's all confused. In general, only those one is close with are invited to showers. Oh well. What's done is done.

theimpossibleastronaut

It's just not really a thing around here. My brothers, father, and husband did attend one shower. My work shower was coed. However, I've never attended a baby shower as a guest that was coed.

michellersayer

I had a co-Ed and it was so fun!! Games were awesome with the men haha! My husband was so happy to be apart of his first child's celebration! It isn't all about the mommy..

shaunessa

I'm planning on having a co-ed at a friends Mexican restaurant.  Its so much more fun when you have men involved in the cheesy games!  I've been to soooooo many all women showers and they're all the same.  Sure they change it up here and there, but pretty much same odd atmosphere, by trying to make small talk with strangers.  When you have your husband and couples there, it's more of a party-fun get together.  I don't know, maybe its a Latin thing.  We love our big families and our big fiestas!  Never a dull moment!

RebeccaY1

I've been to one co-ed shower and wasn't a fan.  It was more of a generic party than a typical shower.  I actually like the traditional shower with the games.  I don't really think that the co-ed shower is becoming the norm though because it doesn't seem to happen too often in my circles.

lollipoppoop

Co-ed showers are the norm in my circle.  My shower is co-ed as I/my husband are good friends with the other husbands and want to all get together to celebrate.