what was your last straw?

candlequeen

I've been married 5 1/2 years and I'm thinking of leaving. I've threatened it so many times I don't think he believes me. What gave u the final push to just go for it. I love my Husband but his choices are going to make him lose us.

Monkeybird84

I came home from work one night to find him passed out drunk on the couch, several cigarette butts in an empty 2-liter coke bottle. He had been unemployed for several months at the time. When I woke him up to question him about smoking in the house, he stumbled to the door to go outside for a smoke and at some point he told me that even in that state, he was capable of being responsible for an infant.

20thirteen

I didn't get the opportunity to leave BD like I was planning.  He was a somewhat functional alcoholic, couldn't get through a day of work without at least one 40oz of beer, really not at all the fatherly type.  We both knew it.  And I was looking for an out before I found out I was pregnant anyway.  His secret girlfriend is the one who dumped me. I was pissed but also relieved.  What is going on with your husband? What are the choices that he's making?

candlequeen

I'm so sorry. This sounds like something MH would do, but he smokes pot instead of drinking. He also told me that to make extra money he bought $100 worth of lore tabs and he's going to sell them for more than what he paid so we'll have extra money. Husband of the year right?

candlequeen

He's supposedly been off pills for 2 yrs. He was taking suboxone to get off. Now he's weaned off the suboxone with his drs permission. I woke up at 2 am on Sunday and he wasn't I'm the house. He left the door unlocked while he went across the street to smoke pot with our neighbor. From 11:30 pm til 2am the kids and I were in the house asleep with an unlocked door

20thirteen

suboxone... isn't that for people who were addicted to heroin?  My BF takes suboxone, he was a user waaaayy long ago and he's afraid to wean off it because he doesn't want to fall back on to who he used to be (because he doesn't want to lose me).

If he is selling and using drugs, that is definitely a last straw.  My BD was selling pot and pills to get by (and stolen bikes) and I just thought "how am I with this guy?"

candlequeen

It is an alternative to methadone and can be used for all kinds of drugs. I don't feel like he'll change. It makes me sad but I'm fed up

driveshorses

@roxalot Suboxone is for opiate addiction and can also be habit forming, which is why it's a controlled substance. It's not as strong as methadone (which is also used for pain) as methadone is a C2 narcotic, where suboxone is a C3.

20thirteen

Yeah, I knew it was habit forming, my BF told me that the withdrawal from suboxone is worse than heroin so he doesn't plan on ever getting off of it. @driveshorses that is a cute kid and it took me a second to realize she's holding a hose, LOL.

But back to the topic, @candlequeen what is keeping you from actually walking out?

candlequeen

Stupid love I guess. Also our daughter is only 5 months and our son is 3 and they adore him. Fear of the unknown too I guess. I'll have to get my own place bc although I love my mom so much we CANNOT live together

MinnesotaMomma91

Honestly my lasy straw with bd is that he cant make up his mind. He cant decide if he wants me or his ex, he cant decide if he wants a relationship with ds or not. So i finally made the choice to leave now im much happier with a great bf who loves ds and me.

Im sorry to hear your husband is doing all of things. But if you plan to lewve get a lawyer and document these occurences to avoid joint custody of your children.

And im curious, was your husband always like this or is it a recent thing?

candlequeen

he's always liked to smoke pot but I was okay with that every now and then on the weekends and if the kids are in bed, etc. The pills I found out about 2 years ago when he told me he wanted to get clean. Selling them is very new to my knowledge. I came back to him when he got on suboxone and started seeing a dr. because things improved. We both decided to TTC #2 because things were going so well. The suboxone is expensive, but other than that things got better for us. Now the baby is 6 months on Thursday and here we are again.

MinnesotaMomma91

Im sorry to hear things are getting bad again. Maybe try going to an alanon meeting. They might have some insight for you about how to deal with this

salsamommy

My last straw was a long time ago, but I was scared to leave. July this year he threatened to kill himself if I left and he started bashing his head on our floor in front of me.

I knew then that he would always try to manipulate me to try and stay together and he was capable of doing anything to get what he wanted. I feared my own safety and the safety of our son and this LO. So I left!

lilhockeygurlMOM

For me, BD always chose his friends and drinking over us. So one night when he went to a friends house and got wasted and then didn't come home until the next afternoon I had had enough. I told him it was over and I kicked him out.