DH went back to work on Wednesday, and my mom has been staying with us. Since we lost Jesse on Sunday, I haven't been grocery shopping in two weeks. I thought it might be good to get out of the house and get some fresh air...and something for DH to eat. Well, that was a terrible idea.
Walking into the store I was fine. Feeling fragile, but still like I could do it and make it out alive. Then I saw a woman with a newborn in a carrier. I was still ok, Mom and I just getting the things on the list. I tried to just focus on what was directly in front of me. Then I saw a woman with a newborn in a car seat. I decided it might be a good idea to just hurry up.
Then I saw a woman with a beautiful pregnant belly, and I dropped a jar of tomato sauce. Of course it shattered and splattered my flip flop clad feet and the entire aisle. I burst into tears. An employee came over and told me it was no big deal, just a jar of sauce. There was no recovering from that, so my mom and I just left the cart where it was and walked out.
Dh thankfully came home early, and I was able to smirk about it as I told him I threw a jar of sauce at a pregnant woman. Tomorrow is only 1 week since Jesse died, and I'm not planning to leave the house again until at least Wednesday, when my mom leaves.
How do you do it?!
TTC since 2008 Dh:34, no issues. Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion. 4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary. 6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN, 1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized. 2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP. Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection. 2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!! 5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP! Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9 Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2 Beta 3 14dp5dt: 497 Please be our sticky rainbow baby!