help!

bttrflyprnc7

I am a step mom to a almost 11 year old boy. i met him when he was under the age of 2 and when i married my husband he was 5 years old. we have a very special bond. The problem i am having is discipline/punishments. my step son has a very hard life with his mother which he is mostly living with. and he wants to come live with us so we are planning on going to court soon. but while we don't have him here that much it's so hard to discipline him when something happens. so for instance today he is now in boyscouts with his dad, and today they have the 2nd camping trip so i had to pick him up from school and then have him eat dinner early and get dressed and my father was to pick the two up for camp. he got in trouble at school today and when i got in the car he told me his version of the story, and we we arrived home the teacher had called his dad and he learned the full story. so now i find out he lied to me/us again(this has been happening alot) his mother lies to his father alot and he know about it when it happens now that he is older. so i felt that this would be a perfect oportunity for him to stay home from the trip and learn that we do have discipline here in this family. we never know what to do. and have his father go to camp. but my husband thought he should go and he can do more chores which i know will not happen. they have to do stuff has a group in scouts my father is head guy over there. so i am so stuck in the middle being just the step mom. i let my husband make the final choice but i really think he made the wrong choice. my step son is going to think fine i don't have anything to worry about dad will always let me go to boyscouts. what can i do? for our future. 

sorry it's so long

hopanka

I believe you should have a conversation about discipline with your husband, but I also believe his final decision trumps yours. You can decide, if you want to live with that or not, but the truth is, he and his xw do have a final say on discipline of their child. Sorry, it is probably not what you want to hear.

bttrflyprnc7

no, i understand that. but i am just upset with the fact that in the short time we had to figure this one out tonight being he only had 45 mnutes to eat and change and leave. it sucked that my husband and i could of had more time to sit and figure out what to do. i wish it would have been yesterday he got in trouble so we could have talked it out last night and come up with a plan for this weekend. it's so hard to be a parent and espically a step parent to a child who gets no discipline at his mothers. that's for sure.

hopanka

 

bttrflyprnc7 said:

no, i understand that. but i am just upset with the fact that in the short time we had to figure this one out tonight being he only had 45 mnutes to eat and change and leave. it sucked that my husband and i could of had more time to sit and figure out what to do. i wish it would have been yesterday he got in trouble so we could have talked it out last night and come up with a plan for this weekend. it's so hard to be a parent and espically a step parent to a child who gets no discipline at his mothers. that's for sure.

Totally agree with you on that.