Loss Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

AJCagle82

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
I'm making a picture book on my computer for us, my parents, and my in-laws. We were all at the hospital and got to hold Parker. It is a sweet moment that only the six of share and I want to make a memory book of that time. I love going through the pictures and seeing the special moments each of us had with her.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
I'm starting to prepare for Christmas. I know its early, but I hate when I have to frantically buy gifts at the last minute. The picture books will be one gift. We've decided to take the money we would have spent on PJ's gifts and donate it. We are going to research different organizations to see what we think would be the best place for a Parker Jane donation. Any suggestions are welcome. We want to keep it to something related to children or grieving families. 

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss?
This past week, I received a necklace in the mail. It had a disc with "Forever in our hearts" and a dandelion, a heart with "Baby Parker Jane," and a stone. It is beautiful. There was no name on the package so I had to track down who gave it to me. Turns out it was a girl from High School who I'm FB friends with. We don't ever talk, so I was totally surprised. Some people are just amazingly generous.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I need a job. We just moved and I recently passed the bar. I need to get to work, but networking in a place where you don't know anyone is difficult. I want to find a job and settle in before I get pregnant again. Also, getting pregnant again. My cycle has started back up (sorry if TMI) and while it is a slap in the face reminding me of our loss, I know it is a good thing for future children. I've also been talking to a friend about adoption. She was adopted and has offered to share her story with me and get me in touch with her mother. We have always wanted to adopt (even prior to losing Parker). It is something we are both passionate about. The family plan has always been to try to conceive and have a biological child and also adopt.

shandorfml2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Maybe. Went to group, have been participating in "Capture Your Grief" which has been theraputic
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to get healthy. I found out i'm intolerant to gluten, corn and some other things. So trying to get my diet right

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss? Write, call, send cards/flowers, be there for me when I didn't want to be alone, pay the bills, get us groceries, be there when I cried...

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Missing my girl. I'm worried about the upcoming holidays. The first outfit we bought for her was for halloween (found out Oct 30th 2012 she was a girl). So, she's supposed to be here all dressed cute for halloween. 

shandorfml2

AJCagle82 said:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
I'm making a picture book on my computer for us, my parents, and my in-laws. We were all at the hospital and got to hold Parker. It is a sweet moment that only the six of share and I want to make a memory book of that time. I love going through the pictures and seeing the special moments each of us had with her.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
I'm starting to prepare for Christmas. I know its early, but I hate when I have to frantically buy gifts at the last minute. The picture books will be one gift. We've decided to take the money we would have spent on PJ's gifts and donate it. We are going to research different organizations to see what we think would be the best place for a Parker Jane donation. Any suggestions are welcome. We want to keep it to something related to children or grieving families. 

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss?
This past week, I received a necklace in the mail. It had a disc with "Forever in our hearts" and a dandelion, a heart with "Baby Parker Jane," and a stone. It is beautiful. There was no name on the package so I had to track down who gave it to me. Turns out it was a girl from High School who I'm FB friends with. We don't ever talk, so I was totally surprised. Some people are just amazingly generous.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I need a job. We just moved and I recently passed the bar. I need to get to work, but networking in a place where you don't know anyone is difficult. I want to find a job and settle in before I get pregnant again. Also, getting pregnant again. My cycle has started back up (sorry if TMI) and while it is a slap in the face reminding me of our loss, I know it is a good thing for future children. I've also been talking to a friend about adoption. She was adopted and has offered to share her story with me and get me in touch with her mother. We have always wanted to adopt (even prior to losing Parker). It is something we are both passionate about. The family plan has always been to try to conceive and have a biological child and also adopt.

Congrats on passing the bar! My family plan has been to have a few biological and adopt as well (I'm adopted)

kz's_girlygirl

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We just lost our son on Sunday, so I am still reeling from the entire experience.  I am trying to just give myself some slack and remember that it's ok for me to not be ok right now. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? DH and I will be picking up our son's cremains on Monday or Tuesday, so a concrete task we are going to accomplish before then is to get a shelf set up and ready.  I would like to get a nice frame to display a photo or two, as well as his urn and a candle, plus room for things to rotate that remind me of my time being pregnant, and the dreams we had for Jesse. 

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss?  DH had to go back to work, so My mom has been here with me this week.  She is staying until Wednesday, and I am so thankful for that.  She has done laundry and grocery shopped for us, and even though I know she is grieving as well, she is a wonderful support for both DH and I right now.  Many friends and family members also participated in the Oct. 15th Remembrance day in Jesse's honor and sent me pictures of their candles- that meant a lot. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Just surviving. 

mingaling2

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 
I started a tumblr blog as part of working through my grief:  https://embersinanursery.tumblr.com/

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 
I need to send thank-you's or attempt to for all the notes/gifts we've received. 

QOTW: What are some of the best/most helpful things that people did for you after your loss?
I think writing is helping me work through some of my emotions. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

I just wish I knew what went wrong. I don't have any answers. I'm struggling.