I think for me is fear and guilt. The guilt can come back in waves. Its so hard not to think there was something I did, or my body did, to betray her little life. I am terrified of it happening again with subsequent pregnancy.
I don't have a picture for this (probably should be thankful for that )
Mine would definitely be anger. For me anger has been the worst part. I can handle days when I am really sad and I miss my daughter...those moments are almost bittersweet. Days when I am just overwhelmed with anger are a different story...it is the WORST feeling in the world. I hate being angry at people because they are being blessed with healthy families...I hate being angry at God because things haven't gone the way I envisioned them...I hate being angry at myself or DH just because I am angry at the world. It can be such a dark place and I hate when I am stuck in that place.
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Really I have many things to release but the main one that sticks out at me at the moment is Control. I always try to control everything when in realty, I don't have control over everything. There was no controlling if Brooke lived or died, even during pregnancy or even after she was born. All my worrying didn't do any good other than cause unnecessary stress. It also made me miss those precious little things or moments because I was to busy trying to control eveything. There are only so many things we as humans can control and the rest is up to God. I just got to place it all in his hands and trust.
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings
May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS