So scared of SIDS

kkay1982

LO turns two months tmrw and the peak period for SIDS is 2-4 month and I am terrified. I almost posted this in the phobia post. I am a worrier in general and especially when it comes to LO and being sick and I think SIDS is my biggest nightmare just because there are so so many unknowns. We follow most of the things that are thought to lessen SIDS bit the whole "sudden" part makes me want to puke.

TurtleMomma

I'm afraid of getting T-boned by a semi truck but that doesn't stop me from leaving the house.

Edit to clarify: There are things in life you do and do not have control over, SIDS is something you do not have control over. That's why I find it hard to worry about because if its going to happen, its going to happen, no matter how many alarms I buy or how many times per night I wake up to check on him.

kkay1982

Being scared of SIDS isn't stopping me from doing anything, just is something that I, and I am guessing many moms, feel. All you can do is the best you can and pray that it doesn't happen to your LO. Same goes for any illness or injury.

PrettyAccountant

TurtleMomma said:

I'm afraid of getting T-boned by a semi truck but that doesn't stop me from leaving the house.

Seriously? Was this response necessary? There are many women on this board who have had a loss (or more) and the anxiety over SIDS is overwhelming.
OP - you are not alone in your fear of SIDS. Any mom on this board or any other board who says it doesn't concern them (even in the least bit) is a complete liar. Maybe you can look into one of those sensor monitors for your LO? I have been looking at them and I know many parents got them even if the whole purpose was to help them rest easier.

WashingtonQueen

I think it is safe to say that SIDS is in the back of every parent's mind when they are this age. The only thing we can do is be as safe as we can with them and remember that although SIDS does happen, there is a much greater chance of it not happening.

perrybaby25

I struggle with this with everyday. We bought a movement monitor and I'm still waiting on it to come in the mail. I'm hoping that it eases my worries a little. The chances of it happening are so slim and with correct healthcare and precautions, those chances are even lower.

LJUTCMommy

I worry about this constantly too. And DD sleeps right next to me. I wake up and feel her chest 10x a night just to make sure she is ok.

I think all parents worry about it the first year. It is scary because while SIDS is linked to many things, nobody can say definitively what causes it or how to prevent it.

Revez

LJUTCMommy said:

I worry about this constantly too. And DD sleeps right next to me. I wake up and feel her chest 10x a night just to make sure she is ok.

This. I definitely lose sleep over it, just staring at her and making sure she's breathing.

OP your anxiety is over SIDS is normal. I took comfort in knowing that the average baby has a 1 in 2000 chance of dying from SIDs, that risk is cut in half if you put baby on their back to sleep, it's reduced again if you BF and again if you keep toys out of the crib and again if you have circulating air etc. As a parent you do what you can and the rest is out of your hands.

We too an infant CPR course so that if anything were to happen we could be as prepared as possible. I also purchased the angelcare movement monitor so I could ACTUALLY close my eyes at night. Other than that I say a prayer before bed and the rest is out of my control.

MommyAmes2

I never worried with my other two. This time around I do think about it (i think because im more informed). The nights she STTN, I still get up and check on her. I also don't plan to move her into her room anytime soon.

All we can do is be as safe as possible. I think a lot of us worry though.

WildRumpus

I get it. Especially after suffering a loss, I am beyond terrified of anything happening to him. But like pps have said, I do what I can to keep him safe, and that's the best I can do.

RoosterMemphis

To be honest, I worried about losing the baby so intensely my entire pregnancy (it took forever for me to get pregnant, it almost felt too good to be true, and I have a few health issues)....and when I delivered her, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything I could to prevent SIDS to the best of my ability, and then let it go so I didn't drive myself crazy. I have no control beyond that, so I might as well stay in the moment with her as best I can and enjoy every ounce of our time together. Just know that it's every parents fear, and we will all get through it together.

pb&jojo

RoosterMemphis said:

To be honest, I worried about losing the baby so intensely my entire pregnancy (it took forever for me to get pregnant, it almost felt too good to be true, and I have a few health issues)....and when I delivered her, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything I could to prevent SIDS to the best of my ability, and then let it go so I didn't drive myself crazy. I have no control beyond that, so I might as well stay in the moment with her as best I can and enjoy every ounce of our time together. Just know that it's every parents fear, and we will all get through it together.

I was the same during pregnancy..my mom kept telling me the worry never ends. It's true. There is always something..I already worry about when she's a teenager and driving and more independent. It's crazy! I like what Rooster said..just try to relax and enjoy each moment! Worry isn't going to help..

bluegirl0429

I understand completely. I think about it often and say a little prayer every night, thanking GOD that LO is here and healthy.

I didn't think I could become pregnant due to some health issues. So when I did, I became paranoid about everything. I've calmed down now that he is here but the worry is still there. PPs are right, the worry never ends and the best we can do is be informed.

tdmklm

I put my hand on E's chest to make sure he's breathing every time I wake up at night. Hang in there, mama(s).

KiKiMe

I'm paranoid about it as well! I follow every guideline but know that may not be enough so I still worry. DS1 just turned 2 and I still check to make sure he is breathing (on monitor) during his naps and when I wake up at night.

I've had 2 losses so I think that adds a bit to it but completely normal to worry!

Cocolamo1

Honestly, it's why I don't see the big STTN deal. I welcome those grunts and cries. I worry too, but also worry about something happening to my other kids. The most we can do is educate ourselves and do what we can to lessen the risks. We do have some control, back to sleep and many others mentioned above.

MagPie 1986

PrettyAccountant said:

I'm afraid of getting T-boned by a semi truck but that doesn't stop me from leaving the house.

Seriously? Was this response necessary? There are many women on this board who have had a loss (or more) and the anxiety over SIDS is overwhelming. OP - you are not alone in your fear of SIDS. Any mom on this board or any other board who says it doesn't concern them (even in the least bit) is a complete liar. Maybe you can look into one of those sensor monitors for your LO? I have been looking at them and I know many parents got them even if the whole purpose was to help them rest easier.

I agree that was unnecessary. I go in the room at least twice a night to make sure she's still breathing if I can't tell from the monitor. 

I've also heard numerous stories of babies aspirating and that terrifies me, too. 

magdalina.h

Losing a baby was the WORST thing I've ever gone through and it has really made me anxious when it comes to Lucas and Alexis. That bring said, you can't prevent SIDS. You can do things to try and avoid it, but the best thing to do is love your baby and live your life.

BlueJewelM

Honestly I try not to think about it. I know it happens I just would rather pretend it doesn't happen. I can worry myself into a tizzy if I'm not careful.

Slpafford

It terrifies me also, even when DS does sleep through the night I don't because I wake up every so often to make sure he is breathing. Like some of the pp's have said all we can do Is take all the recommended precautions and pray for the best.

Soleil3

I was super paranoid with my first, and did hours and hours of reading on it. What I found that soothed me a lot was "code shifting". Many experts are pushing to remove the diagnoses of SIDS completely, because 99.9% (some even speculate 100%) of the time there is a cause, but many counties don't have the resources or training to diagnose so they default to SIDS/SUIDS. Also while SIDS was decreasing from 1994 to 2000, infant mortality rates stayed the same, and since 2000 SIDs hasn't lowered any further, implying that better prenatal and infant care, more information about safe sleeping methods that reduce the risk of suffocation or rebreathing, along with new mandatory autopsies on infants under 1 year causing code shifting, were the cause for the reduction in SIDS, not the bts. Ok well I'm rambling, but for me knowing there is almost always a cause really helped me chill out. So google for hours (non biased sources) + sleep deprivation and needing to do something about it = word vomit above.  

rissa06

I understand. With both my
Older kids it was such a concern. Our
DD would stop breathing in her sleep and it would scare the living crap out of us. My son actually slept on his stomach, because that is the only way he would sleep. He had GI issues and that was the only way he wouldn't stop crying.
For DS2 it's in the back of my
Head. It's always back of my head, but I try and follow te guidelines... Making sure there is air circulation... That the house doesn't get too hot... Etc.
It's ok to worry. I think I lost
Sleep with my first one and I hear u never get it back. There ur kids and u love them:-)

LJUTCMommy

Soleil3 said:

I was super paranoid with my first, and did hours and hours of reading on it. What I found that soothed me a lot was "code shifting". Many experts are pushing to remove the diagnoses of SIDS completely, because 99.9% (some even speculate 100%) of the time there is a cause, but many counties don't have the resources or training to diagnose so they default to SIDS/SUIDS. Also while SIDS was decreasing from 1994 to 2000, infant mortality rates stayed the same, and since 2000 SIDs hasn't lowered any further, implying that better prenatal and infant care, more information about safe sleeping methods that reduce the risk of suffocation or rebreathing, along with new mandatory autopsies on infants under 1 year causing code shifting, were the cause for the reduction in SIDS, not the bts. Ok well I'm rambling, but for me knowing there is almost always a cause really helped me chill out. So google for hours (non biased sources) + sleep deprivation and needing to do something about it = word vomit above.  

This is very interesting. One other thing that has bothered me is how SIDS is applied to infant deaths that are obviously caused by suffocation and/or being crushed by a parent who is not co-sleeping safely and/or other obvious potential causes.

For example, I read last year about a mother and father who got drunk at a party. They didn't want to leave, but had to pick their son up from the sitter. So they did, brought him to the party, and all 3 slept on the host's futon. It happened in 1999.

Instead of being "caused by suffocation, crushed by weight of parents, and/or neglect"; the cause was SIDS due to co sleeping. I just thought WTH. That is not SIDS, that was preventable. And that is definitely not co sleeping! That's being totally irresponsible.

I agree with previous posters, the best we can do is follow the guidelines and do our best. It's helpful to know that people are now doing mandatory autopsies on infants to determine correct causation of mortality.

nnikki10

Ok I'm a police officer and unfortunetly over my career I've had responded to "SIDS" baby calls. They are the worst days of my life. Now from all these calls I've seen that like @soleil3 and @ljutcmommy said these were issues of suffication.

Always unsafe cosleeping or not a safe place for LO to be sleeping in the first place. I think if you follow precautions and keep LO in a safe spot everything will be fine. It's understandable you are worried. It's normal and it will keep your LO safe.

tdmklm

suchgreatheights324 said:

TurtleMomma said:

I'm afraid of getting T-boned by a semi truck but that doesn't stop me from leaving the house.

I actually didn't leave the house for 2 months because of that fear in 2011. Granted, I was t-boned by a semi. I still struggle with it, but I approach it like I do my fear of SIDS. I couldn't control that other driver or SIDS but I can control my part. I wore a seat belt. LO sleeps on his back. Etc etc.

Me too! I didn't leave the house either. Broken hip, pelvis, and foot on the left side. Still hurts like a muthah sometimes. And this happened in Brazil, where insurance isn't mandatory, so the truck driver didn't have it. He was ordered to pay me a bullshit amount but never did. Bastard.

I feel closer to you, @suchgreatheights324.

sfeebs13

I don't know when things changed. I worried so much and caused myself so much anxiety about what ifs and possibilities and things that could happen to LO when I was pg. and then I worried about birth defects and DF would always say I was going to worry the whole time and everything was going to turn out beautifully. I worried even when the doctors told me there was absolutely no need to.
DF was right. I worried for no reason.
It's still in the back of my head and I still worry about ever-y-thing, but I'm learning that some things are out of y control and I have to live more in the moment than in "what if" futures.
Like I said.. I'm learning.

kkay1982

Thank you for all the posts. I know worrying about our kids is natural and hey it's what makes us great moms. When a mom doesn't worry about her kids is when she stops being a good mom. I am usually good about keeping my worrying in but I am glad I brought up my fear of SIDS and was able to hear from all of you.

girlmama83

I did not know the risk peaked at 2 months so that's pretty terrifying. It's definitely on my mind and I worry about it but I know I am doing all the right things to help prevent it.

TurtleMomma

suchgreatheights324 said:

TurtleMomma said:

I'm afraid of getting T-boned by a semi truck but that doesn't stop me from leaving the house.

I actually didn't leave the house for 2 months because of that fear in 2011. Granted, I was t-boned by a semi. I still struggle with it, but I approach it like I do my fear of SIDS. I couldn't control that other driver or SIDS but I can control my part. I wore a seat belt. LO sleeps on his back. Etc etc.

Thank God somebody understood me...

@prettyaccountant
@magpie1986

zora51

I worry about SIDS too. I think that's a lot of why I still have LO co-sleeping and not alone. I constantly check his breathing while we sleep or during his naps as well. I follow all the guidelines, but still worry!

And of course, it doesn't help things when I watch Law&Order: SVU yesterday and there was an episode about a baby who died from SIDS. I CRIED. And held LO very close. I need to limit my TV watching if it has to do with harm to babies!!

BelhurstBride

Oh I totally check on DD throughout the night and during naps. 

When DD1 started STTN (ya know, 6 months ago) I'd go in and check on her, too. 

@zora51- I have a hard time with shows that involve a child's death, too. Sometimes, after watching on, I'll go in DD1's room to snuggle... even though getting the child to sleep is a hassle. 

MissyCee

I know how you feel. I let LO sleep on her tummy because she doesn't sleep well on her back so I worry because it's been drilled into me that tummy sleeping is bad. To try to ease my anxiety I have a video monitor and a movement monitor. It wasn't cheap but it's so worth the peace of mind.

And I definitely think that a lot of situations where SIDS was used as cause of death are probably cases of suffocation or other issues and with advanced medical knowledge and technology those incidents are being properly diagnosed now. So with that in mind I take precautions, use the monitors and pray.

MammaBear81

I have one of these, it's a Levana baby monitor.  It clips to baby's diaper and monitors breathing (movement), if baby stops breathing for 15 seconds it sounds an alarm.  I know it's not needed, but for $50 it gives me piece of mind.

https://www.amazon.com/Levana-Clip-On-Portable-Movement-Monitor/dp/B00E8NGRUW/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1382121707&sr=8-11&keywords=levana+baby+monitor