MTV New DocuSeries

Sunni01

Have you guys seen that MTV is producing a series called GenerationCryo where a girl tries to locate her half siblings? I think it said she finds out she has 15 and meets quite a few of them. Might be interesting. Anyone going to watch? https://starcasm.net/archives/247728 Just thought I'd share a little something I came across that looked interesting.

xmaystarx

Thanks for sharing, I had not heard of this. It makes me think how I would feel if my (hopefully someday) donor egg child decides to do something similar. I'll probably check it out.

ArgyleBride

Oh God.  The idea of someone trying to find me someday is one thing--with MTV cameras in tow?  I say again, oh God.

xmaystarx

Jalara, one of the first things my husband said when I read him the description was, "isn't it a closed record process".  It isn't very fair to the donors.  They are able to see that they are all connected to the same donor via his ID but I'm not clear on if they can get any more information other than that.  Anyone know?  I've been watching too much Veronica Mars, but I guess if they had a strong enough desire they could find him but like I said, not fair to the donors who agreed to an anonymous program to help others.

liz4paws

Hmm... I'm not sure how I feel about this. Before I saw MTV's True Life episode about infertility, I thought the same thing - that they glamorize and sensationalize EVERYTHING to the point of inaccuracy. But they surprised me and the infertility episode really hit the nail on the head. So I guess I'd have to see this particular show before I made up my mind on whether or not I thought it was garbage, or actually a good documentary series about people in this situation.

From what I understand, if you donate anonymously, the clinics have to keep your identity anonymous. However, there is a donor registry out there and if donors or children born of donor conception wish to register, a reunion could be made willingly that way. Otherwise I'd think the clinics are breaking their contract here and I'd be surprised. 

I think I am intrigued enough to check out an episode or two before deciding how i feel about it.

liz4paws

Ahh guess it's called the "donor sibling registry" which implies it's not really there to find the donors themselves - https://www.donorsiblingregistry.com/ but I do see they also mention finding donors through it. Again, it appears to be an active process and requires willing parties. Interesting.

Km672

Eh...
I'm don't want to see this.

One of the biggest issues of using TPR is the fact that because we are using 2 donors, if we are so lucky, our children will have multiple half siblings who they won't know.

It would break my heart to see this.
We have decided to do the best we can to handle all of this, but this would make it harder on us.

stinkerbell6879

Yeah I am with KM on this. Not sure how I would handle this, I know it's part of using TPR, but right now the feelings are to new to know how I would actually feel in the end.

I do agree that MTV did good with the true life episode, so who knows...

kat8805

I saw the commercial for this the other day. I can understand the mental turmoil you must all face when dealing with infertility. However, as with adoption, no mater where the genetic material comes from, these children are CREATED by you and your family. You will have given them the life they lead, and shaped and molded them into the people they will be. I think it is a healthy curiosity for them to wonder about their genetic history, but it by no means degrades the roles you all have played in their lives.

I think you all don't give yourselves enough credit. You have fought so long, and so hard for something that comes too easily for some. You have stayed dedicated and determined even if you felt weak and defeated. You deserve all the credit. It's almost like saying that the bank that granted the small business loan to start a company is solely responsible for it's success.

I admire you. :x

kat8805

Well I imagine it would need to be something that is discussed at some point if they have knowledge of it. Are similar physical features in a donor on your list of requirements? Being the oldest of 5, while I am only a half sister to my younger siblings, there are vast differences between all of us. Ranging from fair skinned, blonde haired, blue eyed to black haired, tan skinned, brown eyed children. My own 3 year old still looks nothing like me, but there is no denying who her father is. There are enough genetic variants in a traditional family to dismiss any variances in a non-traditional one.

brooklynesque

Jalara: With 23andme and other genetic testing becoming super-popular, and the fact that deep dark secrets have a way of getting out if anyone at all knows about them, it's hard to assume that a child will never find out. The psychological research suggests that it is far far better if a child is told early and often about her origins. If the secret comes out in later childhood or the teenage years, it becomes an identity-shattering thing and a huge breach of trust. If the kid has been told since she was 3 that a helpful lady donated a cell to her mommy, much less of a big deal.

I'm happy, by the way, that my child(ren) will have half-siblings they may someday get to know. The more potential close social ties the better, I think. But I'm in the camp that would love them to meet their donor someday too, if she's willing (and I think she would be; she's met some IPs in the past and said in her psych eval that a child should have a right to learn about his/her origins).

stinkerbell6879

I am ok with sharing with the child and if they meet the donor then ok also. I guess it's the publicness of tv cameras that makes it a little more intrusive. If that makes sense? But I guess if that's what the child signs up for then I'd learn to be ok.

JM1977

Just a quick comment - the term "siblings" used in this way has always kind of bothered me.  Although I know that our children are genetically related to other donor-conceived children out there (having used donated eggs and sperm from donors who also donated to other couples), when I hear the word siblings, I think of our two kids who are growing up together, have the same parents and grandparents, live in the same house, etc.  Even though I'm thankful that other couples were able to use our same donors and have their families, too, I don't consider their kids to be my kids' brothers or sisters...

interzone

Just a quick comment - the term "siblings" used in this way has always kind of bothered me.  Although I know that our children are genetically related to other donor-conceived children out there (having used donated eggs and sperm from donors who also donated to other couples), when I hear the word siblings, I think of our two kids who are growing up together, have the same parents and grandparents, live in the same house, etc.  Even though I'm thankful that other couples were able to use our same donors and have their families, too, I don't consider their kids to be my kids' brothers or sisters...

I hope it's ok that I post here. If not I totally understand and will DD my comment.

I agree so much with this comment and your views about sibling relationships. DH and I have 8 5/6 day blasts that were frozen in 2011. We were planning on thawing one for a sibling to our twins, but had a surprise BFP instead. We are 100% sure that we do not want to pursue a FET with any of the remaining blasts and are looking into donating them. DH and I are on totally opposite ends of the spectrum in how we think about them in relation to our family. He thinks they would still be our children in the same way that an adopted child is still the EM/BM's child, so he would be amenable to a more open relationship. I want to anonymously donate them and have no desire for future contact because I think that once they're donated/adopted they become part of another family and I would NEVER want a relationship with DH and I or the 3 kids we have now to interfere with their family bond.

I think what I'm getting at is that this show and others where donors are actually identified scare the hell out of me and make the decision to donate much harder. It worries me that we may donate, thinking that it is anonymous, only to find a crew from MTV at our house in 30 years.

liz4paws

interzone said:

Just a quick comment - the term "siblings" used in this way has always kind of bothered me.  Although I know that our children are genetically related to other donor-conceived children out there (having used donated eggs and sperm from donors who also donated to other couples), when I hear the word siblings, I think of our two kids who are growing up together, have the same parents and grandparents, live in the same house, etc.  Even though I'm thankful that other couples were able to use our same donors and have their families, too, I don't consider their kids to be my kids' brothers or sisters...

I hope it's ok that I post here. If not I totally understand and will DD my comment.

I agree so much with this comment and your views about sibling relationships. DH and I have 8 5/6 day blasts that were frozen in 2011. We were planning on thawing one for a sibling to our twins, but had a surprise BFP instead. We are 100% sure that we do not want to pursue a FET with any of the remaining blasts and are looking into donating them. DH and I are on totally opposite ends of the spectrum in how we think about them in relation to our family. He thinks they would still be our children in the same way that an adopted child is still the EM/BM's child, so he would be amenable to a more open relationship. I want to anonymously donate them and have no desire for future contact because I think that once they're donated/adopted they become part of another family and I would NEVER want a relationship with DH and I or the 3 kids we have now to interfere with their family bond.

I think what I'm getting at is that this show and others where donors are actually identified scare the hell out of me and make the decision to donate much harder. It worries me that we may donate, thinking that it is anonymous, only to find a crew from MTV at our house in 30 years.

While I haven't watched this show, I would be shocked if these people were locating their donors simply by finding information through their clinic. I am pretty sure they are using the donor registry where donors actively and voluntarily register to find any resulting children or siblings. I would be floored if it's being done through the clinics who have signed a legal contract for anonymity, so please don't let this kind of fear sway you from donating your embryos. If you're worried, maybe call your clinic or whatever agency you are considering using for donation and grill them on the possibility of being searched for by any resulting children in the future. Good luck on whatever you decide!

Sunni01

This show is coming on tonight on MTV. 10 pm PST/ 7 pm EST.