Late Term and Child Loss

It's been a while... Just need to vent

Hi ladies,

Sorry I have been MIA lately. I have been lurking, but I just haven't felt like posting. I'm just so sad. I hate to welcome all of the new members, but I hope you've found this place to be as helpful as I have.

As I just posted in today's Day of Grief thread, today is 6 months since Ava died. I can't believe it. I don't even remember who I was 6 months and 1 day ago. To be so over the moon happy, naive, and excited... And have it all ripped away, along with my baby girl. I am venting because one of my best friends just had a c-section and her daughter was born. She has a son who turned 1 in August, and she got pregnant with this baby by surprise. So they're just 14 months apart. My gosh. I wanted and loved Ava before she was even conceived and she's gone. And my friend wasn't even planning for this baby and ta da, she's here. Who decides fairness in life? Certainly not a woman. I feel like a woman would have too much compassion to let such disparity exist. Don't misunderstand me, I am happy for my friend. But I want to be happy for her and me BOTH. I don't want to be happy for her and grieve over Ava's death at the same time. I don't think my brain can process both emotions at once.

Thanks for letting me vent! I hope time has helped you heal. I have found the passage of time to be the only true way to find peace.

Ava's Story
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

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Re: It's been a while... Just need to vent

  • I am so sorry you have been feeling so low.

    I find myself despising people in grocery stores with two young children/babies...I just want ONE to be born alive!!!  and people that have kids back to back...i just don't get it.  I don't get how it is so easy for some people and then so hard for others.  I hate that this whole ordeal has to keep going and that I have to keep dealing with feelings of anger on top of all of my grief.  None of it is fair.

    so many ((hugs)) today.  I hope you start feeling better soon.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • Amen to that sweetheart! I feel that way also. Hugs to you.

    Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS



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  • I'm so sorry you're feeling down. I know how you feel. When I see people with healthy baby girls it breaks my heart all over again. Especially when they weren't even trying to have a baby. We were trying for so long and wanted her so badly and we don't get her. I know what you mean... It just isn't fair!
  •  Who decides fairness in life? Certainly not a woman.  
    Amen to that. Happy half angelversary to Ava. ((hugs)) to you today. 
    Lilypie - (qptF)

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."

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