Late Term and Child Loss

Nervous about attending a group counseling session (DD mentioned)

Good morning Ladies,

I am so incredibly sorry for all the losses you have suffered and that we are on this board....Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers.

However, I'm hoping that some of you can offer me insight or advice.  We lost our little boy 2 months ago when I was 21 weeks PG (something we would obviously never expect after an easy pregnancy with my first DD 4 1/2 years ago), and my DH and I will be attending an actual support/couseling group of other couples who have gone through the same/similar situations.  Has anyone else gone to something like this?  Did you find it therapeutic and/or helpful?  Did it rehash all those feelings again?

I'm just incredibly nervous, and worried that I'll just breakdown again after it has taken me some time to finally not cry everyday! Plus, not only am I concerned about this type of situation happening to me/us again, but now I'm afraid that I'll fear that what happened to those other couples can happen to us, too!

Any input is greatly appreciated!  TIA

Re: Nervous about attending a group counseling session (DD mentioned)

  • Big hugs to you. I am very sorry for your loss. I think it's wonderful that you are going to a group. I tried two different groups and the first one had about ten different couples so it was quite overwhelming but so nice to connect with others in real life who get it. The other group was just myself and another woman who has become a friend of mine now. I haven't been back to that particular group because me and my new friend meet up to chat instead.

    It's ok to cry at these groups because everyone will understand. You can even bring your own tissues. They will most likely ask you to tell your story if it feel comfortable which can be a really hard thing to do. I remember walking into the room and bursting into tears because it was really overwhelming but once everyone opened up and I met them it made me feel a lot more comfortable. Some of the women in that particular group were pregnant with their rainbows and I honestly wasn't expecting that so if you want to ask ahead of time so you can prepare yourself that might be a good idea. If you find that this particular group isn't for you, there are probably others too. I hope you find the support and comfort that you need. Let us know how it goes.
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son.  DH and I started going to a support group shortly after we lost our daughter at 39 weeks, and at first I found it extremely overwhelming.  It was a mixed group open to all people who had losses at any stage.  I'll admit, I found it very hard to relate to woman who were there after an early miscarriage, even though I had been through a mc myself.

      As soon as the group started I started sobbing uncontrollably, and probably cried the whole time.  Talking about my loss was really hard.  I didn't really like it at first and felt like it was a big grieving session.  But, I kept going, the woman with very early losses stopped going and the late loss moms really supported each other.

    I am really glad I went, I made a good friend there and I found it really helpful to talk to people who understood what I was going through.  Good luck to you!  Let us know how it goes for you.       
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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  • Thank you so much for all your information, support, and input.  I really do appreciate you sharing your stories with me.  I believe this support group is purely for women who had losses at later stages...second or third trimester.  I agree that it would be a little harder to relate to women who had earlier losses, but I'd even feel the same with women who lost babies in the latter part of their third trimester!  Hopefully, this provides us some comfort, and helps us to move forward in our TTC journey.  Thank you again.
  • I belong to two support groups and I love my loss ladies so much they get me like no other person in real life does. I admit it was hard at first but then after a few times going it was easier and sure i still cry at 2 years out but sometimes I don't cry sometimes I laugh and we smile and we have good meeting with little to no crying. I cherish these ladies because we all share the same pain. Good luck if you decide to go. I found it very helpful and I still go every month to my group and every other month to my other one.


    DS- Brenden born 11/13/93 Missed miscarriage on March 6, 2007 @ 9 weeks D&C on March 8th 2007. Riley Annalise born 2/25/08 ( 3 weeks early weighing 8 lbs 12.8 oz.) Chemical pregnancy 3/2010. Sydney Adriana born sleeping on 9/30/11 weighing 10lbs 3 oz at 38wks 4 days. Trinity Alivia born via c section at 36 wks 4 days weighing 9 lbs. 5.7 oz. She is our amazing rainbow baby!!! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers PGAL buddy drvst8
  • I attended a support group at the hospital where I delivered. I went a few times and found it very helpful. I haven't been lately, but I have been seeing a counselor one-on-one that has also helped. I highly recommend both. Hugs to you and I am so sorry for your loss.

    Ava's Story
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

    BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

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