Work issue - WTF do I do? TL:DR

ASmallWonder

TL:DR version - a coworker might have beef with me.  Do I address it now before we spend 5 days together next week at an event or try to ignore it until the event is over?

I think I've posted here before that I work with one other admin but because she supports our department head, she's more like the "head" admin and that she almost refuses to allow me to assist in anything she's working on.  We have a huge offsite every year and for the first one I was pretty new so I kind of observed and helped with a few things but she mostly handled it.  My boss commented later that for the next one, she'd love to see me more involved (not a criticism just a comment because I would have more experience by then).

Anyway, I got pregnant and was on leave during a lot of the planning of this one, which is next week, but I've been back since mid August so I could have helped with tons of stuff (printing, ordering gifts, shipping, etc.).  Every day, at least twice I day I ask her what task I can assist with and more than once she's mentioned something and said she'll circle back with me on it and when I ask her about it again, I find out she "took care of it."  I actually had no choice but to tell my boss this because my boss flat out asked me how involved I've been.  As far as I know, I have never dropped the ball on something the admin has asked of me and we personally seem to get along.  In the last couple days though, she does seem like she's really short with me.  It's likely the stress of all the fucking work she refuses to offload for this event but I'm torn on whether I ask her if I've done something NOW or wait until after the event.  We have to spend all of next week together, mostly just she and I while the others are in sessions and I don't know if asking her will make it more awkward of if ignoring it is going to make it awkward.

Jesus Fuck that was long.

WasNotWas

I'm big on acting professional at work even if others don't. As long as she is not your superior, I would say something to her. You can be delicate, but I would not allow for there to be "uncomfortable" feelings between the two of you, especially if you have to work together. As long as you are clear, HR-friendly, and document any negative interactions you should be fine.

The workplace is a where you don't have to like each other, but you do have to treat each other with respect. Her excluding you intentionally is disrespectful and should be addressed.

LoveActually4

I'd maybe try to come at it from a different angle and say "you look really stressed out with everything going on and I just want to let you know you have my support 100%. Let's have a meeting today where you can sit down and delegate some things to me so I can help you. (Boss's name) really wants me to be involved this year so I'm happy to help where you need me".

Ask her to write down a list of delegations rather than verbalize it.

If she continues being short with you I would probably cry in the bathroom, but that's just the way I roll.

ASmallWonder

To be clear, I'm not mad, really.  I'm more concerned that I've honestly done something wrong (either personally or professionally) that she isn't being forthcoming about.  If I've handled something poorly and that is leading her to feel I'm unreliable, that's a problem.  I would need to work at addressing and correcting that but I can't if I don't even know what it is.   So this would be more of a "Is something bothering you?  I'm getting concerned that I've done something to upset you or have handled something badly."  not "WTF aren't you letting me HELLLPPP?" :-p  But really, if my boss expects me to help but someone isn't letting me help, I've got a problem so it's either address it now or wait a week and come at it like "Now that the stress of the event is over, I'd like to talk about how I can be more involved next year."

LoveActually4

I would definately try to address it before the event if this person is a reasonable person and it will remain professional. If you think she's going to fly off the handle or stop speaking to you completely, I'd wait.