Thoughts on Private Schools

Katelobster

Ever thought about basing it on the individual kid? Certain kids might do better in private schools... kids who are quiet, shy or need more personal attention might benefit from a smaller school. Other kids will thrive on being in a large public school that has a much greater variety of elective classes and extracurricular activities. And a kid with any kind of learning disability will certainly get more help in a public school system. Some kids will love the atmosphere of private school, others will feel stifled by it. That was me, btw- went to a private school until 8th grade, and asked my parents to let me go to the huge public school where I knew almost no one because I needed a new group of people and hated that the only options for extracurriculars at the private school were sports and band. I loved my high school, graduated in the top 10% and received an academic scholarship to college.

I moved away from my hometown and thus had 0 network, and guess what, I did fine. I am in a small field so I built my network in grad school and beyond. My DH went to an exclusive private school AND has a dad with a c-level position at a fortune 500, and he went into a non-business field and none of that has ever helped him. IMO it's a crapshoot whether your 'network' of people you know will help you in life.

Mustardseed2007

I agree that it probably depends 100% on the kid on whether the money would be best spent on private school or basically a cash investment, but it's going to probably be hard to tell at the K level which will be best in the end.

However, all things being equal I would bet on the private school rather than saving up money and giving him a gift or gifts of cash in the future.

 

 

traveltheworld

Katelobster said:

Ever thought about basing it on the individual kid? Certain kids might do better in private schools... kids who are quiet, shy or need more personal attention might benefit from a smaller school. Other kids will thrive on being in a large public school that has a much greater variety of elective classes and extracurricular activities. And a kid with any kind of learning disability will certainly get more help in a public school system. Some kids will love the atmosphere of private school, others will feel stifled by it. That was me, btw- went to a private school until 8th grade, and asked my parents to let me go to the huge public school where I knew almost no one because I needed a new group of people and hated that the only options for extracurriculars at the private school were sports and band. I loved my high school, graduated in the top 10% and received an academic scholarship to college. I moved away from my hometown and thus had 0 network, and guess what, I did fine. I am in a small field so I built my network in grad school and beyond. My DH went to an exclusive private school AND has a dad with a c-level position at a fortune 500, and he went into a non-business field and none of that has ever helped him. IMO it's a crapshoot whether your 'network' of people you know will help you in life.

You are right.  Personality probably will play a very big role in which school would fit better.  And you are also right that your career path would also determine whether or not your "network" would be all that helpful.  That's why we are quite uncertain as to whether the money would be better spent helping DS out later in life (if he shows he can be responsible with it).

Lots to think about....

MNgirl326

I went to private school through 3rd grade, then public.  I went to a public University (of which I went out of state for and paid an out of state tuition) for undergrad and then a private college for graduate work.  I became a teacher.    I use networking to help me find teaching jobs but I also use own skills.  

I have 40,000 in student loan debit.   I am happy and wouldn't change a thing.   If mcy parents handed me a check for 100,000 now, I would obviously do a lot of things with it.  15 years ago however, I would have pissed it away. 

Private or public, find the best education for your child you can but remember that teachers aren't miracle workers, the best thing you can do is be involved in your child's education and be part of the whole process.  That is something Money can't buy.

laurakaz13

DH and I both went to fantastic public schools in CT, both went to good colleges and now have very success careers. 

We will ensure we live in a good public school district or otherwise send DD to private school.  However, I can't even comprehend and would never spend $13-20K on elementary/high school education.  That seems ludicrous. 

My parents paid for my wedding, bought me a new car and gave me my first down payment. I am lucky and I appreciated every dime of that help.  I hope we will be able to do that for DD and any future kids as well. 

KKCARLS

I lived in a rural area so the only private schools are religion based.  I went to a private Catholic school.  The public school in town was fine - not considered the best or worse in the area.  It was a small community, but the kids from my school just had a better reputation of being respectful, etc. (warranted or not) so even when we were getting part-time jobs in high school we immediately had a leg up. 

I now live in a city with a few different religious private schools and 5 or 6 public high schools.  The public high schools are larger than the private ones so they have a lot more activities and extra-curriculars.  Also our city has open enrollment for all schools so you don't have to go to the one you live by and can choose whichever one you want.   Many parents will send their kids to a private grade school and then tour the other public schools before they start high school and see which ones fit their needs.  If your child wants a good drama dept. a certain public school in town is known for that.  Other are know for certain sporting teams, or better AP classes.  Since we don't know when kids start K what their drive will be when they are 13 I think starting them at the private school and then being open to transferring them to a public high school that fits them.  Although most kids just want to go where their friends go

court115

This may just be me but I wouldn't feel comfortable taking $100k from my parents in the form of anything other than education. My parents also started from $0 and worked very hard to get where they are. I think growing up in that mindset is why I'm successful today. Besides, I think that they should be the ones enjoying it. Not me. I can enjoy the money that I earn. I should say that I work in a law firm that mainly handles wills and estates. I see people every day fighting over their parents' money and it makes me sick to see such entitled people.

plus12012

I went to public school for Elementary and Junior High and a Private Prep School for High School. I did fine in both public and private but, I had many more life advantages going to a private school. I would definitely say go for a private school. That is definitely my plan for DD. My parents also built up a trust fund for me and my siblings. It was a great thing to have but, they also make sure that's it was given too us in small(ish) amounts monthly so that we would learn to manage our money. After we graduated from college and were at the point of purchasing houses, settling down and had good professional jobs they gave us full access to those accounts. I think that's so much better than just handing over a lump sum.

Strunella

I live in a pretty affluent area, but the public schools are not that great and not an option for us.  Most people here seem to send their kids to private school, but at almost $30k a year, I don't think we can swing that with two kids.   I LOVE our town, but our house is now up for sale so we can move to a town with better public schools before DS starts kindergarten. 

Having said that, if we could afford it, I would definitely prefer to send my kids to private school.  I think that in general, they provide a more educationally rich environment with more challenging classes and more diverse activities. 

rs_bride

*sparky* said:

Where I grew up and still live today, where you went to high school is a big deal, even as an adult.  We have some fantastic private schools in this area, and when people ask where you went to school they mean high school, not college.  That being said, going to one of those schools is not a requirement for being successful, but there is definitely a network of graduates of certain schools.

I went to one of those schools, and I can tell you the networking has helped me somewhat, but also the education was amazing, as was the close environment at the school.  I graduated in a class of only 40 girls and I still keep in touch with a lot of them. 

You're from St.. Louis, aren't you? So where'd you go? St Joe? Villa? Not Mary I, unless you're even older than me because we merged with Country Day when I was just a Sophmore...:)

FemShep

I attended public school, went to a prestigious university, and an Ivy League business school. ExH went to private schools (including a top boarding school), Ivy League undergrad, and prestigious grad program. He insisted that DD1 attend private school, and although I roll my eyes, I want the same for DD2 now. The student-teacher ratio at DD1’s school is amazing, and it's made a big difference in how she's grasped reading, writing, and math. Since you don't know what your LO will want in terms of career and how important top-tier networking is (it absolutely is important for investment banking or management consulting, for example...not as much for a non-research MD), I'd look at how you can give your LO the best start without thinking about the payoff.