Consequences for losing items? — The Bump
School-Aged Children

Consequences for losing items?

DS forgets things quite frequently.  In the past 6 weeks, he's lost a brand new hooded sweatshirt, another hooded sweatshirt, and last night failed to come home with his replacement new hooded sweatshirt.  He *thinks* he knows where it is at school.  What do you do for lost items?
Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD

Re: Consequences for losing items?

  • I have one kid who really has a hard time keeping track of things.  I came at it from two directions:

    --working on strategies to keep track of stuff.  Example, if you take your jacket off on the bus, put it in your backpack or tie it around your waist.  Don't just set it on the seat next to you.

    --letting natural consequences work.  After the first loss of the year, I don't go through any extraordinary measures to help recover an item.  And I don't buy a replacement item for it.  The kid has to go without or pay for it him/herself.

    Honestly, this approach has worked wonders with my "absentminded professor." After buying a few replacement jackets, mittens, and gym uniforms, she took us at face value when we said, "don't lose this cell phone."  She knew we'd follow through.  In 18 months, she's never even lost track of where it is.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • Thanks for the ideas.  He's never complained about the hooded sweats so I don't think it's an issue of dislike. 

    We are in KS and the mornings are cold, but it warms up in the afternoons so I think we wears it outside in the afternoon, then gets hot while playing, removes sweatshirt, and then leaves it.

    He's not be diagnosed with ADHD.  We had parent-teacher conference last night and he's doing very well academically, but having problems socially because he is blurting out in class.  For example, if they are working on a problem with the whole class the information is on the white board for everyone to see.  The teacher will be ready to move on and DS will yell out that he's not done yet.  Teacher leaves info on board because she knows other students aren't done yet either.  She said he's perfectly capable of finishing it and moving onto the next problem.

    Wendy Twins 1/27/06. DS and DD
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  • I realize she now named two things but he loses sweatshirts does not mean you jump straight to ADHD. My friends DD has great attention, is a great students and never misses an assignment but loses her sweatshirts often because she gets hot and takes it off and leaves it behind.

    Of course if there are other concerns then look into it but losing sweatshirts does not equal an issue besides replacing the sweatshirt.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    edited October 2013
    If they lose it it is gone.  Granted, my kids don't lose things very often.  Anything that goes to school that might come off, has their name on it so I can always look at lost and found.  I don't punish for losing something, it just would not get replaced unless it was something like mittens.

    And how did ADHD get brought up just because the child has lost a few items?  So not seeing that and my DD has severe ADHD and she has never lost anything - yes, she has left things at school or dropped a mitten here or there but we have always found them.  she has never just left something sitting around because she has ADHD.  Sorry but it totally amazed me how people jump to a learning disability because of basic normal kid behaviors.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • -auntie- said:
    Your realize that blurting is a behavior common in kids with ADHD. It's great that he's doing well academically at this point. If he starts to have issues managing assignments and turning work in when he's older, you might want to consider an eval. A lot of kids with ADHD do swimmingly until about 4th when they're required to manage more executive function independently.
    Blurting happens to ALL kids...not just kids with ADHD.  Where you get this information from is beyond me.  My son has ADHD and he doesn't blurt much at all compared to his cousins that don't have ADHD.  It's a kid thing.  
    Michelle & Ron

  • Do you label his stuff?  I think the consequence of losing a sweatshirt is that it is lost, and you are cold when you come home bc you don't have it.  And secondarily, losing out on possible fun bc you have to go dig through the lost and found and spend your "free" time doing so.
    But really, label!  If the shirt says his last name on the tag, it probably won't even go to lost and found.  The teachers or lunch aides or playground staff will pick it up, check the tag, and say, oh this is Johnnies in Miss Smiths room.  I'll take it over to him. 

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