capture your grief day 16

lrichmond86

Day 16. Seasons: Share what certain seasons or holidays mean to you now. What season did your baby die in? What season were they conceived/born in? Etc. Do you dread those seasons now? Are they more meaningful to you because of your baby?

lrichmond86

Baby Gary was born December 14th. I remember the hospital even had Christmas decorations out and I kept thinking to myself how ironic that felt. Christmas is hard. At its basic level, it's a holiday all about the birth of a baby boy. I remember sitting in church that first year on Christmas Eve. It was really one of the first time we we're out of the house for something non-funeral or basic needs related. It was ten days after he died and the day after his funeral. When we sang Silent Night I completely lost it. I don't hate Christmas. I'm actually looking forward to it this year.

Noethola

Day 16. Seasons: Elsie was born Dec 8th. She technically passed on Dec 7th, our very own "date which will live in infamy." Christmas was hard to get through last year, because everything felt so very superficial. We sang a song at the Christmas Eve service that had a line about "when Mary heard her baby cry." I literally broke down sobbing. I didn't get to hear my baby cry. 

I am not dreading this year, but I know a lot of it will be tough. It would probably have been her first Christmas and such, as she was due at the beginning of Jan. And, I will get out all the remembrance ornaments that people got for us. 

Elsie was conceived in the spring. This last year, there was not a week that went by when I wasn't thinking, "This time last year I had just found out. She was xx weeks along. She started kicking me around now." It was a tough season.

Below is one of the ornaments we have with her name engraved.

PerkyErky

***siggy warning***

Alice was born right in the middle of Passover, the 16th day of Nissan 5773 of the Jewish calendar. Passover will always be a very difficult holiday, I am thankful that the Jewish calendar doesn't align with the secular calendar. The month of Nissan falls in April this year so Passover won't be during Alice's angelversary on March 27th.

We will light the yahrzeit (candle for the dead) on the 16th of Nissan. So while I am glad Passover won't be during her angelversary I am dreading having two anniversaries pretty close together. The secular calendar date and the Jewish calendar date.

We also received many bouquets of flowers from well meaning friends and since it was so close to Easter and spring, they all had lilies. I used to love lilies, now I can't stand the smell of them and seeing them is difficult as well.

***side note: traditionally Jews don't send flowers when someone dies because the flowers eventually die as well and can be a reminder of the death recently experienced.***

bunnybun4

My baby died the day before Thanksgiving.  It was absolutely awful.  One of the best comments I got was, "try to still enjoy your holidays."  yeah right.  I am absolutely dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas this year because last year was just so hard.  It really brings back a lot of terrible memories.

My baby was concieved in late summer.  The only part I hate is I keep remembering that last year at this time I was this much pregnant.  But at the same time it makes me feel connected to her too.

schulme2

Spring will always remind me of My Mary. The babies were born in early spring (although they were due in late summer). The day we came home from the hospital everything was in full bloom. Our tulips were up and our beautiful flowering tree was so pink! The world was full of so much color and beauty and life when we were not.

Auki13

Day 16: Seasons
We lost Annabelle in July and the whole month is hard for me. What makes it especially difficult is because it's also our anniversary and Ron's birthday. I feel like her birthday gets lost in all that is happening in the summer, and it makes me sad that this year we weren't even home to have a birthday celebration for her. We did celebrate when on vacation, and I know that she is everywhere. But a part of me really wishes that we were at the cemetery on the day of her birth and the anniversary of her death. It's October and I still feel guilty about it.

TwinkleTor

Day 16. Seasons: 

I posted first St Paddy's Day picture because Domenik was conceived on March 17th. I know it for sure! I posted a picture of autumn because Domenik was born right before fall the leaves were already changing color and I remember smelling pine and loving it! And lastly I posted a picture of winter because my due date was 12.8.13, I made it my biggest picture because I have a feeling it going to be my toughest time. I think about the cold and cry for Domenik. I think about snow and cry. I'm not looking forward to winter at all. I can say that I look forward to St. Paddy's Day because it was a happy moment for me, and I will always remember the day that we made him... It was the happiest moment of my life!