*****My pregnancy and someone else's newborn mentioned****
I have been seeing a lot of posts about Oct. 15 pregnancy and infant loss day, and really feeing the pain of missing my daughter and feeling for all the moms who are missing their children. So, this is an emotional day for me. On top of that the past 2 weeks have been pretty hard for me, I have been slipping backward and really have a hard time getting motivated to get up off the couch and do anything. I had a short period of morning sickness so I blamed my laziness on that, but now I am feeling fine and still have trouble getting my self going. Now, my lack of morning sickness and pretty much all symptoms has me completely convinced that this pregnancy is not going to last. I don't feel pregnant anymore, just like when I had a MC in May.
A family member just had a baby girl in the same hospital I delivered in, and honestly it is very hard to be happy for her when all I feel is hurt that my baby girl died. I blocked her from my news feed a long time ago, but today I just had to look at her timeline. Her baby was the same size as mine, so small at just over 5lbs. To see all the happy family pictures with proud grandparents holding this little baby and reading all comments from our extended family, just sent me over the edge. I have pretty much spent the last hour just crying.
I know I don't post here much anymore, but I really just needed to vent and be sad and angry that a year and a half later it still hurts so much sometimes.
BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011
BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012